princess5 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I'll ask again: Anusha: What do you want people on here to tell you???? Link to comment
Anusha Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 I just talked with the girl I know that works on the same place as him.I asked her if it was true that he changed his work time and she confirmed it.She said he isnt there now(if he havent changed his time he would be) and that she saw him there at nights. Link to comment
Anusha Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 I'll ask again: Anusha: What do you want people on here to tell you???? I just want help to calm down when Im freaking out like yesterday for example.When that happens I just panick and is like I cant think straight so having somebody telling me to calm down and showing there is no need to worry really helps.Like yesterday hearing something like "Dont worry,the batery on his phone probably finished" or "Maybe his boss just came in and he had to put it of" for example. Link to comment
confusedg Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I will say this another time, and perhaps risk an infarction (gosh, cant even spell it). 1. Re-assurance seeking problems do not go with re-assurance provision. A case in point in health anxiety/hypochondria. 2. Empirical evidence shows that endless reassurance and advice is not solving the problem for Anusha. She continues to suffer. It is not good for her. 3. Re-assurance has become like a stick to walk with every day, and next day there is a new anxiety. She continues to suffer. 4. If the stick disappears or becomes less 'available' to call on, she will seek out other resolutions to these problems. Hopefully. i.e. if the responding becomes less immediate and comitted since its producing no visible impact, then Ansuah will figure another way out. There needs to be another way out. Best. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I saw her(on pictures and when she went to the store once) but no I havent talked to her. The way you answered this makes it clear that you do not see what princess5 is trying to make you realize. I think what you should investigate is not his work hours but his ''aunt''. What are you going to do about it Anusha? Link to comment
princess5 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 she doesn't really mind if he has a girlfriend/wife, that's not her concern really. She just wants to feel good about herself. Link to comment
Anusha Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 I investigated his work hours cause I was concerned that maybe he had made that up to have a excuse to not meet me so often anymore(since our meets were at night).And after I asked the girl about it I noticed a worry poping up on my mind,saying "what if she mentions to him that you asked about it?".She talks to him and is kind of his friend too(althought to me she is way more my friend than his).I tried to push this thought away but anyway my point is that made me realize how Im always finding a reason to worry.I really need to find out why I do that. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 What do you worry about? You already know he is dating you for your money. This isn't love. You said it yourself, he is not affectionate with you, he keeps checking his watch on dates, etc... That is not how a man in love acts. You know that this isn't the real thing - you are paying to have a fake "relationship" (which is barely that at all). I'm worried about you - you don't seem to think you deserve a real boyfriend, who loves you and cares for you and wants to see you and that you don't have to pay him for his company! You should be able to go to your boyfriend's house to watch a movie, hang out, etc.... You should be meeting the people in his life. You should be able to drop by his work from time to time to say 'hey baby!' Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Anusha dear - you really need to stop all of this idle snooping. Do you want this stuff to get back at him? Are you in a position to risk pissing him off right now? Be realistic. Your subsidy has dramatically reduced, so you have this guy only by a very thin thread at this point. I wouldn't recommend doing any kind of investigations. Ultimately, you don't really care where he is and who he's with, you just care that you feel you have a BF. So, focus on the goal, and stop doing things that might send him packing for good. Spend your time looking for work, because without a hefty bankroll, he's not going to continue to pretend to be your BF much longer. Link to comment
princess5 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I don't knwo why I keep coming back to this thread.. because I get soo frustrated when I come on! But i'm attracted to it like a moth to a flame!! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I don't knwo why I keep coming back to this thread.. because I get soo frustrated when I come on! But i'm attracted to it like a moth to a flame!! I know. It's so unbelievable. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Forgot to add: We are not doing her any favors by responding to these insecurities, it only enforces it. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Anusha--how many more threads on exactly the same topic, with people sayng exactly the same things, is it going to take before you seek out the professional help you so clearly need? To be honest, I think it's getting to the point where mods should instantly delete your threads. It would really be the best medicine at this point, as you need to learn to be able to rationalize situations without others doing it for you. And I mean that with all sincerity. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Anusha--how many more threads on exactly the same topic, with people sayng exactly the same things, is it going to take before you seek out the professional help you so clearly need? To be honest, I think it's getting to the point where mods should instantly delete your threads. It would really be the best medicine at this point, as you need to learn to be able to rationalize situations without others doing it for you. And I mean that with all sincerity. Totally agree! Anusha, you will not get the help you need from any site, you need a professional. Please address your problems! Link to comment
confusedg Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I will say this another time, and perhaps risk an infarction (gosh, cant even spell it). 1. Re-assurance seeking problems do not go with re-assurance provision. A case in point in health anxiety/hypochondria. 2. Empirical evidence shows that endless reassurance and advice is not solving the problem for Anusha. She continues to suffer. It is not good for her. 3. Re-assurance has become like a stick to walk with every day, and next day there is a new anxiety. She continues to suffer. 4. If the stick disappears or becomes less 'available' to call on, she will seek out other resolutions to these problems. Hopefully. i.e. if the responding becomes less immediate and comitted since its producing no visible impact, then Ansuah will figure another way out. There needs to be another way out. Best. This. Like others are also saying. THIS needs to be done. The responses need to stop. there are 139 posts on this thread. Unless this stick goes, Anusha will not walk. Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Agreed with the others, and as I said in an earlier post, way back on page TWO. You have a serious problem, and no one here can help you. In fact, I suspect you're here because your friends and family don't know what to say anymore. I sympathize greatly, but I'm not going to feed into this any longer by replying to any of your threads, until you post one about going into therapy. Good luck to you, Anusha. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 This thread has run its course. Anusha, We sincerely feel it would be in your best interest to seek professional help. Please give this some thought. Link to comment
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