Moving in with a rebound?

[thinkinghurts]

My partner and I were together for 7 years when he decided he needed to spread his wings. I let him go without a big fight because I agreed that he needed to see what was out there (he was now 26, I was 33). Big mistake. Never have I been so miserable. We split for 6 months while he partied it up and I tried to date someone new to console myself. He came back after the 6 months and we attempted to reconcile. I dropped the new guy and asked my ex to move back in right away.

 

The problem with reconciliations is that it is all about timing. I was desperate to get our old life back but I was filled with resentment and anger. Even though he left me he expected me to prove my love. We both love each other dearly but the problems just weren't get addressed. I asked him to move out this past February after a 3 month reconciliation attempt. It killed me because I love him so much and knew that I would be crushed after he actually left again. I just felt like it wasnt our time and I didnt know how to fix us. Again, probably a mistake to not work harder at the time but I subconsciously thought I would get another chance.

 

So here's where Im confused - the ex quickly went into "I knew this wasnt going to work but I want us to be friends" mode. I spent the past months trying to profess my love and how we should go see a counselor but he held steadfast to the friends thing. All along, keeping contact with me and sending occasional "miss you" "miss us" "love you" texts.

 

After 4 months apart - he said he met someone new that he really liked. After 2 months of dating the rebound guy, he said he's in love and has moved in with him. I know there is a lot of advice on rebound relationships on this board but I havent read much about people who rebound hard and then move in with someone so quickly.

 

Did he really just get lucky and fall in love or is it his way of dealing with this painful situation? I am so hurt by this.

 

What does your experience say?

[Stay_home]

My experience tells me that it's time to move on.

[Double1983]

A rebound is a quick new relationship. So its always too quick and hard for the person who is not in the rebound. U have still feelings (and he maybe also, but u dont know) its guessing now. Does he trying to forget u by getting into a rebound? or is he really in love? We dont have the answer and neither do u. Maybe he doesnt even know, but the best advice is keep on going with your life.

I tried to analyse my situation for a couple of weeks. Its got me nowhere!!! Let ur mind and heart heal and struggle with life for that time. There is nothing u can do. Yeah NC, hard to get etc. Thats all for ur own benefit. Rebounds can work out but most of time they dont. The ex is comparing the new lover with u all the time (thats what i know of rebounds) but maybe its true love.

[why do we]

Well there's always a chance that there is strong chemistry between them or maybe even real love like in movies...

The old cynic like me only read that the guy always moves in somewhere - does he not like to pay his rent? Also a chance

 

On a more serious note how can we know, maybe even your ex doesn't know himself yet, only time will tell. You gave your best if you tried with him again, it didn't work out, so ultimately, perhaps there's a better partner for you out there?