confusedgirlll Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 I don’t want to make this a novel but I was in a “FWB” relationship with Jeff* for about 10 months. Towards the end, I realized what I wanted was actually a relationship, and Jeff, although very affectionate and caring, never expressed any wanting of being in a relationship with me and I didn’t want to push him because he’s the type of guy who ALWAYS avoids talking about his feelings. He said he loved me; we were like a couple to everyone else but ourselves, but he never really called me his girlfriend, never tried make me his girlfriend, or talked about “future” plans about us. I knew that I had landed myself in that situation for giving it up to him whenever he and I pleased. I knew I couldn’t expect him to want that when I never even talked to him about that. So like I said, I knew I couldn’t be in a relationship with him, or with someone else because who these days wants a polygamous relationship? So I told him how I felt, and we tried to be friends but he couldn’t keep his hands off me and neither could I so a platonic relationship was out of the picture. I started distancing myself, and he asked why so I explained again what was going through my mind, and again he never told me what he thought. He agreed it was probably the best we didn’t see each other if I really “meant” I didn’t want to be “with him” so we just did NC. This whole time he never tells me how he feels about me, never tries to contact me, but it’s now been 8 months, and he still Googles me. My page is set up to track visitors by IPs (I remember his from some programs I installed on his PC) that are “referred” by Google (for location), and I recently received the report for the last 6 months, and he’s Googled me about 789 times in that time frame (or referred by Google to my page). My page has links to my Facebook, Twitter, my blog, etc. He doesn’t have any of these so it was never an issue about deleting him but why is he doing this when he’s been “pretending” he doesn’t care all this time? I also happen to know what his YouTube username was and I searched for it on Google after I found out about this, and it led me to his profile, which is full of the songs we used to listen to together. I looked through the comments of the most recent one, and his was there with, “God I miss your lips.” This is after 8 months since the breakup, so why didn’t he ever try to make me his girlfriend all this time and yet he engages in all this crazy internet stalking? Why does he do this instead of contacting me directly? I haven’t been with anyone since we broke up because I'm still kind of healing. The sexual chemistry between us was insane and it's hard to match that. I’ve missed him this whole time and I seriously wanted more with him than our crazy FWB relationship. But he never expressed any feelings of wanting to be more than that, even though I hinted it. I hinted it mostly because I was afraid since he never expressed his. I was scared of him running the other way, but it lead to me running from him. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.