smegs Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Hi all I have posted before about a failing relationship. Long story short ex asked me back a year ago and the following ten months were very eventful....painful....and humbling. but i still felt unsure about the reconciliation from day one. If u would like any further details just ask Any hoo, without any intention, a good girlfriend brought a 'friend' of hers over to mine when ex bf and i were still together and we were all hanging out one day. Yes, she had liaisons with this friend but that was all. He came over, he was a nice guy, we got along well but I didn't think much of it, after all I was with my bf and trying to patch up a bad situation (I had cheated on him not long after getting back together). Many drinks later me and this new guy are hitting it off, and getting too close....( apparently i kissed him when friend and ex were not around) and i don't remember. way too much alcohol. I heard it the next day, apologised to him and my good friend, i was just drunk. Thought nothing of it afterward. Long story short....this guy is an opposite for me. I put him out of my head as I thought we were too different. Turns out he wanted me, I wanted him.....and I fell hard. No intention. I had every intention of being loyal to ex bf after my stupid mistakes before. THIS i did NOT see coming. What the hell? Anyway, new guy and i confess that we want to be together. I break up with ex.....very ugily. I feel terrible. He did nothing wrong....I DID. By not communicating my worries bout relationship even before I met new guy. (ex and i were on a 'break' not long before i met the new guy.) Anyway, fast forward a few months, I have to move, start uni and find a new job all in the space of one month. = Stress!! plus happy I'm with new guy but still struggling with conflicting emotions about being the cheating hussy that fell for someone else. Really, I DO NOT blame my ex for hating my guts. It hurts like hell, but he's hurting too, and why wouldn't he? I did a terrible thing and it didn't and should't have turned out that way. Through this stress the new bf kinda disappears. His own Job stress, money, etc....as with me. A month passes, and only assbook contact. The "love you's' stop as does the affection. No contact and i start to wonder....I stressed and tried not to stress, thinking 'great, classic rebound. Good on ya' but in reality I was over ex ages ago and the first cheating exp was my rebound ( I repeat NOT PROUD of that lapse in morality and concentration). new bf and i finally catch up after a month, and it's great....but then two weeks pass....is he a one hit wonder? I don't smother, I have my own life, and I try to let him be, as he seems to want that....I am still grieving a bit and notice old expectations of how relationships should be creeping in as opposed to learning to wait and see what the dynamics of this new relationship will be. I just want to see him more, just once a week even! And that doesn't happen. Have I fallen for a playboy? Have I got the wrong expectations? More importantly, as most know, is this just a rebound doomed for failure? I really like this guy and enjoy his company. If it ends tomorrow I'll be sad but I won't look back and think it was a waste. I really like him. Even though we are opposites. I am aware that I may be over thinking etc....just random thoughts I needed to get out. Sorry a bit longer than intended, I just need to vent. Thanks to all that read this to the end. Link to comment
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