cantalonie Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Hi, Im so confused that I came on the internet to find some answers. I met a girl about 3months ago. She had recently (1 week before) broken off a 3 year relationship because she was unhappy with it. We met through her family. From the start we hit it off. Within three dates she was coming around every 3-4th night. We had great conversations, great sex, great times. We talked about our exes and laughed and compared and just talked about things we liked, didnt like, what we wanted in life. Then came her big trip away to Europe. 1 month in Ibiza, Mykonos, Santorini, barcelona. She had organised this before she met me. It was with her two girlfriends who were also in relationships. Red flags were setting off in my head. Apart from my insecurities, that she being a bikini model... who turns heads left and right. I was sure that she would not come back the same and that she would probably cheat. I almost ended it with her one night a week before the trip and she got very upset with that. She insisted that this trip wasnt about boys. She promised me on numerous occasions that she would never do anything, she wouldnt hurt me that way. She insisted time and time again because she knew I was getting worried. She wanted to introduce me to her mum but I said we should wait until she gets back. On the last night before she left, she invited me to "her house". We had sex but I couldnt orgasm after two hours.. I was stressed. She held me tight and promised we would be ok. It will be the same when she gets back.. even better. I knew already from her family that she could be trusted, that she had never cheated before on a previous boyfriend. She told me on one of our first dates that one of her best qualities was that she was loyal and trustworthy. On the morning she was to fly.. she insisted I take her to the airport where I could meet the other girls, so I could feel better. We said goodbye and she promised to message me while she was away. She facebooked me once every few days to tell me how she is going. Telling me that she was ok, missed me, couldnt wait to see me. On her last day on the trip, I messaged her and asked her to tell me now. Did she wait for me? I was nervous and didnt want to know face to face. ANd she replied I have nothing to worry about. Nothing happen. Honestly. She cant wait to see me! When she arrived back, she didnt want to see me on the first night, she was jetlagged. I understood. She told me to come over for a family feast at the end of the weekend. To meet the whole family. I was excited. Then on the day of the feast I got a text message from her She had a confession, she couldnt lie to my face and wanted me to know the truth. She made out with someone on the dancefloor at one of the nightclubs while in france. She said the kiss meant nothing. She understood if I never wanted to see her. I called her to get further info and she swore to god that this was all that had happen. Her reaction was cold. It wasnt Im sorry. She never apologised. She wanted to slow things down between us and she wanted me to think about this and decide what to do. I said its cool and I appreciate the truth. BUt I was panicky. But then later that night.. I completely changed my thought. I couldnt believe what had happen when she knew how I felt. We discussed the boundaries. She knew that kissing was off the cards while she was away. She wanted that herself. She didnt want me to kiss anyone else either. Even with that determination she failed me. It made me think.. how can I trust someone who would throw it all away for a kissing session on the dance floor that meant nothing. How can I ever be comfortable when she decides to go out with her friends. I called her again... and told her that its over, that I couldnt trust her anymore, that she blew it all away. She was rather emotionless about it... like she didnt care. I know she had the best time of her life in Europe and she is riding high. She even managed to go out with her friends and party it up the weekend she got back before I was to go over for the family dinner. Why did she go out when came back knowing what had happen. She didnt even want to cancel the dinner. She didnt want to see me that night either. The only thing she said, was that hopefully I could trust her one day, that maybe I would change my mind. I said NO, I wont. I sent her a final message telling her how hurt I was and her reply... Im sorry you feel that way. I didnt intentionally hurt you, i hope you find someone that treats you better. Im so confused. I like her heaps, but what happen. Was this a rebound in the end, was this betrayal of my trust. Was this an accident. Was I too harsh? Did I do the right thing. I just dont know how I could have stopped that from happening. How I can stop that from happening in the future. Her behaviour was senseless. How can I deal with senseless behaviour. It wasnt just a kiss, she kissed him for about 4-5minutes she says. She never said sorry, just that she felt very guilty and she regret it. But she never said what I wanted to hear. That she was really really sorry, and that she wanted to be with me wholeheartedly. There were no tears, no emotion. She is 24 and Im 30. Link to comment
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