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To move out or not to move out?


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So, I'm struggling a little to make a decision about whether to move out of home or not.


I'm almost 19 and I'm in my first year of university. I have three part-time jobs, because although I am a full-time student I have very low hours and none of the jobs give me that many hours. I would be looking at earning at least $160 to $220 a week from one of my jobs (plus maybe $100 from my other job, and then a sporadic $150 every month or so from the other). I'd get no government assistance. So I think I'd be able to afford it even if rent is $115 (which is the most it'd possibly be).


I'd be moving in with my boyfriend (though I am insisting on having a separate room so I can have personal space and to appease my parents. and a mutual friend.


If I wasn't so close to my Mum I wouldn't give this a thought. I could go from an hour away from uni, to twenty minutes. But I am not sure I want to leave her. It sounds a little sad perhaps, but she really is my very best friend. We have an amazing relationship and she is so supportive. Plus, my Dad and my brother aren't as nice to her as I am. They aren't very thoughtful and I think she'd feel quite lonely without me to talk to and do nice things for her. I'd happily leave my Dad and brother (I find them quite selfish and frustrating to live with).


I think I'm very afraid of making the wrong choice and damaging my relationship with my Mum or my boyfriend (who isn't pressuring me, but if I move in and then move out because I'm homesick it might be a little rough).


I keep swaying back and forth as to what I want to do. I'm hoping that some of the very wisely, lovely and (most importantly) more experienced people on here can give me some advice.

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While staying stuck to a parent can be a pretty damaging reason to stick around (and it's not good for her either, she needs to learn how to spread her wings and develop herself socially as well) living on your own is more expensive than you imagine.


I'd sock away the money I'd otherwise use for housing and furnishing and utility expenses. Once you build a reasonable nest egg, you'll have more options and the time that takes could clear things up for you.

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  • 3 months later...

I completely agree with what "catfeeder" says!

I am 22 and just now getting ready to move out of my parents house in with my boyfriend and my cousin... (if l can get graduated by february, that WAS the plan anyway... v.v I really hope it still works)


But anyway, when I was 19 I was sooooo ready to move out of the house. All of my friends were moving away and going to college, and it made me feel bad! I was trying to scheme up ways of moving out too and I was not ready to get into college yet because l had just got graduated from high school...


My point is, you don't have to be in a hurry. 19 is sooo young looking back now! You have tons, and tons of time to do everything that you want to do! Just keep progressing forward, take baby steps, and as long as you don't stop everything will be FINE.


If you don't rush and stay with your mom- Catfeeder is right- you will be able to save up money and you should be able to get nice things. You will be in your comftorable house, moving out will bring alot of stressful responcibilities on top of college. You have the rest of your life to be on your own... just enjoy being able to have the comfort of your parents house just a little bit longer. There is nothing to be ashamed about, you are enrolled in a university and have jobs! You will be perfectly fine... try not to be too hard on yourself...

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I wouldn't move out yet if you have any misgivings. I moved out to go to university, used a student loan to pay rent, and ended up having to move back in with my Mom at 24 in order to PAY BACK the student loan.. I almost wish I had stayed home during university, even though it would have been a long commute, and wouldn't have had to pay back the student loan at the end. You're also right that if you didn't like living on your own and moved back in with your family, it would probably damage your relationship with your bf a lot - he'd feel like you 'left' him even if you were still in the relationship.

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