why is it i just cant forget?

[w3536]

im on no contact. its only been a week since ive heard from her or since ive talked to her and it stings a lot. she already told me that she doesnt miss me or want to be with me anymore and i just dont understand why i cant stop thinking about her. i honestly wish i could. im fine, life goes on, i am happy, and i know that im better off without her so why does my brain pick anything to think about her. I catch myself doing it and i tell myself to stop and then a couple of minutes later there i am again. i dont understand how she could just be fine. i tell myself im better off but there is still pain in my chest. after everything that i went through with her i shouldnt be feeling this way, it should be the other way around!!!

i wish i could stop thinking about her the way that she stopped thinking about me all of a sudden. i wish i didnt miss her like she says she doesnt miss me!! im trying! i am! i just want to think about her like i think about all my exes. think about them and feel nothing at all, but i still cant. i still think about her and remember everything. I wish that would happen now!

[MK9]

Letting go is a process that requires the flow of time. For a healthy person, there is no short cut, you just have to go through with it.

[ForumGuy]

Don't assume just because she says she doesn't think about you, that it is true. It doesn't matter now anyway, you are doing the best for yourself by maintaining NC. The minutes that go by without thinking of your ex will turn into more minutes, then hours, days, and weeks. Getting through the initial stage of NC is be far the toughest. Good luck and stay strong.

[w3536]

thank you. its hard and i am trying my best. i saw an old email that i guess i must have forgotten to erase. it was from 2 yrs ago and just the way that she used to talk me was so sweet. i remind myself that the person that wrote that letter doesnt exist anymore but im hanging in there.

@forumguy: she had never told me that she didnt miss me anymore or thought about me and this time it was different. She told me straight up that she didnt, that she didnt even think about me anymore so i just want to know how i get to that point where i can say it like that back.

i know it takes time because this isnt my first break up but i just want to get through it without texting her again or knowing about her. I pray for strenght and occupy myself with other things. all i can say is im doing my best.

thank you..

[melohyellow]

i'm so sorry, i know exactly how you feel. i broke up with my ex about a week ago too. my ex is being a little nicer than yours is being, though.

he says he's not in love with me anymore, though. and it seems like he doesn't care.

 

i don't know if our exes really do care or not, but i'd like to think they do, and they are just hiding it. give it more time, you WILL feel better, and you WILL meet someone else. don't beat yourself up for not being able to forget. it's really hard when you love and trust someone, and then they write you out of their life. i will never understand how some people can be so heartless during a breakup, or why so many people refuse to show their feelings.

[w3536]

right??? i just dont get how all of a sudden she says that im her past and she saw her future and now she has to live it. how did i turn into her past when i was right infront of her? how can she say she doesnt miss me when not 2 weeks b4 that she told me that she needed me in her life. One month ago we had sex and she said that she did it because she loved me and now she doesnt?? i just dont get how she forgot me so quickly. i dont know. im honestly so confused and with a lot of mixed emotions right now but im still not contacting her. i feel that if i do i'll only get hurt further...

[jjcool00]

I remember when I broke up with a girl I dated for 5 years a few years ago. She broke up with me a year prior to that realized she made a mistake and asked for me to try again with her so I did. That whole year (long time) I never felt the same... after she broke up with me it changed me, permanently. I walked away from her after a YEAR of trying to rekindle those feelings and when I did walk away I felt nothing. No remorse, no nothing... so unfortunately I know how she feels, its hurtful to even admit it lol. HOWEVER, I did miss her, I did think about her when certain songs came on etc... its only human to miss something that was a part of your life. I guess what I'm trying to say here is when you know its truly over and you know it really wasn't meant to be its a lot easier to walk away from something than it is when you're not sure. I would say in your case the best thing to do is just accept it, go no contact and see what happens in the future. Your lives crossed paths once before maybe they will cross paths again when you're both a little more stable. I'll give you the same advice I give to everyone in your shoes, do things for you right now, be selfish... do things you wouldve done if you werent in a relationship (skydiving, motorcycle lessons, clubs, bars, singles cruise, vacation for a week at an all inclusive resort) things you would've gotten backlash for doing in a relationship (skydiving and motorcycles are dangerous, vacation without me????, etc.) Start living for you and you'll realize its just as much fun being single as it is in a relationship and you'll learn A LOT about yourself... Focus on ME time...

[smile2day]

Honestly what works for me is no contact. it helps you heal. you have to get out there and start being you again. Start making yourself happy. There are other people out there i know everyone tells you this but that's because its true. Give it time, grieve her then move on. im going through the same thing and its the hardest thing ive ever gone through. Read other posts, and just know you arent alone. We are all here to help.