My friend is being abused :(

[EllaLouise]

Me and my friend are very close and talk about pretty much anything, but since the subject about her stepfather and stepmother abusing her, I have been really confused on what to do.

Her stepfather has had two children with her birthmum, but my friend is not his daughter. He hits her a lot and threatens her, calls her abusive names and is very controling. Her younger brothers, ages 3 and 5, hit out at her a lot, and I think that could be reflected on the way their father treats her, so they are growing up thinking that it is normal. He was fixing her tv one day and she asked him to step out of the way for a minute so she could get something from her drawers, and he said "Whatever you silly * * * * * ." Then he grabbed the back of her neck and hit her head off the side of the chest of drawers. Her mother has been with him for years though.

Her stepmother has pinned her to a wall by the throat and threatened her a few times. She is jealous of my friend because her dad is closer to his own daughter than her.

I think this is really messed up but she told me to keep it a secret for her. She doesn't want to tell anyone because she doesn't want to hurt her two little brothers and her mum would probably be angry with her.

I just don't know what to do, I want to help her, but I don't want her to fall out with my by doing something she told me not to do, help!?

[Moontiger]

How old are you and your friend?

[EllaLouise]

How old are you and your friend?

 

I am 13, 14 in five days, and my friend is 13.

[Moontiger]

You have a few options here. First, tell your parents, a teacher, or any adult that you trust. If you don't feel comfortable going to an adult in your life then call CPS (child protective services) in your state. I am fairly sure you can call anonymously. Above all keep in contact with her.

[EllaLouise]

I don't talk to my mum about a lot to be honest, and I don't trust many adults, and by state do you mean area? Because I live in England. And what would be the use of calling the CPS? Do they do a helpline in England?

[Moontiger]

Oh sorry! I didn't realize you are in the UK, here is a website for the UK Child Protective Services, I'll post anything else I can find to help you.

 

link removed

[EllaLouise]

Thank you x

[Moontiger]

It looks like they have a help line you can call: 0808 800 5000

 

Or your friend can call them at this number: 0800 1111

[EllaLouise]

I am not confident speaking to people on the phone, and my mum tries to listen in when I am on the phone and she takes things a lot more seriously than she should, she's a bit of a drama queen.

[Moontiger]

Hmmm, I wonder if you can email them? Let me see if I can find anything on their site.

[Moontiger]

Here we go! link removed

 

You can text, email, or fill out a form online. I hope this helps!

[EllaLouise]

I am going to email them as soon as I can

[EllaLouise]

I sent them an email

[Moontiger]

Good. Hopefully you will hear back from them soon.

[EllaLouise]

Thank you x

[Moontiger]

Your very welcome. You are a very good friend to be doing this for her.

[EllaLouise]

Yeah I guess so x

[Kitkat973]

Is there a counsellor at your school? If so, that'd be my first stop.

 

I know that you don't want to lose her confidence, but sometimes, there are things that are more important than keeping someone's secrets. In this case her safety is in danger.

[EllaLouise]

I have told her to keep me up to date with the things that happen at home, anything too serious happens, I will tell someone. And I don't think so, we may have though. And as I said, I am not good at talkng to people face to face or over the phone.

[Kitkat973]

I have told her to keep me up to date with the things that happen at home, anything too serious happens, I will tell someone. And I don't think so, we may have though. And as I said, I am not good at talkng to people face to face or over the phone.

 

From what you've said it sounds like something serious already has happened.