We are both attracted but nothing is happening. Who's turn is it to make a move?

[coldheart]

Long story short, I met this gorgeous girl at a tanning salon about 2 months back, and we had pretty good conversation and exchanged a few small talk one-liners on Facebook during that time. Fast forward to last Wednesday, she was heading to the same bar/club where I was at, and we danced the night away and flirted like no tomorrow. There was clearly a strong physical and chemical attraction right away. I remember asking her if she wanted to hang out on Saturday and she enthusiastically agreed to it. We both went home and continued to text until she got home and texted me that she had fun, etc... Thursday morning was texting throughout the day initialized by both her and I. Friday was very minimal small-talk texting till about the afternoon time.

 

Here's where the classic unintended screw-ups take place (IMO)... Friday evening came around, and I was hanging out with a few co-workers for a happy hour session. When I left, I get a text from her saying "someone is butt-dialing me lol". When I looked at my call log, my phone has certainly called her but I had no idea how... I'm thinking the bluetooth aparatus I was wearing has some sort of call feature that I have not learned yet and she was the random target it chose (ugh!)... I decided to play it cool and just tell her that I enjoyed calling people just for them to hear me sing while I drive, and that she should try it sometime (sarcastic). That text convo ended in short talk, and I never heard from her again.

 

I undoubtedly did not want to call or text her on Saturday for the hangout I invited her to for fear that I pressed the wrong button (Which I literally did Friday night) and would get rejected. I also had noticed that she had been inactive on FB for a good 2-3 days so she was probably entertaining other interests. I know my assumptions may seem selfish and ignorant, but I am just treading lightly because I do not want to screw up a future chance while there still may be one. Any suggestions? Thanks ya'all.

[april15]

Call her or text her, ask her out on a real date. What have you got to lose. Sarcasm is sometimes hard to pick up on when texting. Worst case scenario, she ignores you and you know your butt-dialing blew it for you and that is no worse than where you are now.

[coldheart]

Call her or text her, ask her out on a real date. What have you got to lose. Sarcasm is sometimes hard to pick up on when texting. Worst case scenario, she ignores you and you know your butt-dialing blew it for you and that is no worse than where you are now.

 

Thanks. When do you think is a good time to do this?

[april15]

The sooner the better but not a long wait between the asking and the date so there is very limited chance of another butt-dialing incident between the asking and the actual date.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Wait a minute, you asked her to hang out on Saturday and then blew her off because of the Friday butt dialing thing? Come on. Stuff happens. You came up with a decent come back. I think your only mistake was wimping out and not making something happen Saturday. If I were her, I'd be upset about that. The butt dialing would have given you a funny story to talk about.

[coldheart]

Well I have an update. I consulted with some friends, and I ultimately ended up telling her that I was sorry about Saturday and things came up and I wanted to make new plans cause I still wanted to see her and hang out. To my surprise she was very receptive and agreed to do something this coming Sunday. I'm putting good confidence into this. Hope it pays off.

[april15]

Well done Coldheart. Good luck!

[coldheart]

Well done Coldheart. Good luck!

 

Thanks april15. I'm looking forward to Sunday. I want to make it fun yet avoid the movies since it's not suitable for talking. Maybe grab a few drinks then go dancing somewhere?

[april15]

Sounds good. Find a place to dance that is not so loud so you have to yell to chat. Look good, smell good, don't get caught staring at her breasts. I always treat when I arrange the date.

[rustyskyline]

That text convo ended in short talk, and I never heard from her again.

 

Kids these days! I just don't get it--all the interest in texting.

 

When you have a conversation in person, so much more is being communicated than the words you're saying; that's why it's important, especially early in a relationship, to try and be brief on the phone or with texts and save your conversations for when your face to face. Besides, if you talk about too much via texting, you may run out of things when you finally meet again. It's kind of anti-climactic.

[PlayingAces]

Long story short, I met this gorgeous girl at a tanning salon ...

 

Honesty is the best policy, so just tell the truth. But ...

 

Don't mourn over it. I doubt the connection was that strong to begin with, beyond physical attraction. Relationships based solely on looks never work. Try meeting women someplace more meaningful than a tanning salon. (Nothing against tanning salons, btw. But ... there are better places to do the search for true lurve. Or lust for that matter, which may be the case more often than not.)

[oldenoughtoknow]

Kids these days! I just don't get it--all the interest in texting.

 

When you have a conversation in person, so much more is being communicated than the words you're saying; that's why it's important, especially early in a relationship, to try and be brief on the phone or with texts and save your conversations for when your face to face. Besides, if you talk about too much via texting, you may run out of things when you finally meet again. It's kind of anti-climactic.

 

Ah, a fellow dinosaur...welcome! I couldn't agree more. Whatever happened to mystery and anticipation? Instant communication is for the birds. I want my cave back.

[Ms Darcy]

Glad you actually contacted her, I agree with the poster who said that you blew her off.

[coldheart]

Thanks to all who commented. I also miss the days when calling was the only way, but as time goes by, texting has become a socially acceptable means to communicate. In fact, it has it's own advantages too (it's very non-interrupting, less invasive, and more impersonal than calling) for when you just want to send that simple "hello". Well it's now Friday and 2 days away from our date. She texted me on Wednesday and we spoke a little bit. I might call her today just to say hello then just leave it be till Sunday.

[coldheart]

UPDATE 9/16/11: My date went great, basically I waited till Sunday about 3pm-ish and I texted her with “Meet me at (Name of the restaurant bar) at 6pm and we’ll take it from there”. She texted back with “Okay cool it gives me time to get ready and do laundry”… Fast forward, we hung out for a good 6 hours and visited a few places until we took it back to my place to sober up and chilled to about 4am. Nothing happened except a few kisses and none of us were drunk I just wanted to show that I am not all about a one night stand so I did not want to test the possibilities. She's a really really cool chick. Has that open minded personality and seems low maintenance. Didn’t call or text her yesterday at all… let her have a girls day out at the beach. Maybe she will text today ya we'll see!

[emily1804]

This is brilliant! You both seem into each other, glad the date went well. If anything i'd suggest being a bit more forward, dont wait for her to text you she may get confused and chances are shell be expecting you to do the chasing Women like to be chased, they also like men to show their vulnerability (I have no idea why you were so embarrased about the dodgy phone call, I bet she was excited you called her).

[coldheart]

This is brilliant! You both seem into each other, glad the date went well. If anything i'd suggest being a bit more forward, dont wait for her to text you she may get confused and chances are shell be expecting you to do the chasing Women like to be chased, they also like men to show their vulnerability (I have no idea why you were so embarrased about the dodgy phone call, I bet she was excited you called her).

 

Thanks, this is quality female insight right here, I need more like this! I agree that men should do most of the work and according to tradition, it's the correct way to do this. I just find that my ego gets in the way often too. Hopefully I can begin to chip away at it until I find some happy medium of an approach.