Can't figure this girl out

[iggy320]

Ok so I've asked this girl out from work. She seemed like a "good girl", very shy etc.

 

Turns out she's quite outgoing, but physically shy or something. We have a very good connection and her body language is telling me she likes me.

 

Anyways we've been on a few dates, took her on my motorcycle, she really loved it. Gave her a flower on a third date, she said it was really sweet. As I was about to leave she was looking very shy (and goodbyes are difficult for us it seems) I said "can I kiss you" and she was acting even more shy and said "i'm sorry i'm really shy.. maybe it's because you are too, I'm normally not this shy" and I said not to worry about it.

 

We are going for lunch on tuesday and she has texted me since then so I guess it wasn't a big deal that she declined my kiss?

 

She seems to have concern for me, doesn't want me to get hurt on my motorcycle etc, we flirt sometimes too.

 

We've committed to "dating" and we both know we're both interested, but aren't bf/gf. I'm 27 and she's 21. It all feels like we're in highschool or something. I really like her though.

 

She also told me she isn't a "good girl" which kinda worries me.. because now I feel like I have to act like someone I'm not in order to attract her. Like.. instead of being "nice" I'll text her and say "hey sexy" and that sort of thing.. but she's liked the "nice" me up to this point!

 

I don't know what to do. Should I take her to a movie and hold her hand? She seems really willing to go on dates but I initiate all of it.

 

Is she just shy? Or am I going to get my heart broken?

[Ms Darcy]

Why are you barking under the 21 year old tree. I think you should date someone closer to your age and maturity level.

[Ariel85]

LOL @ Darcy.

 

Besides her immaturity level and game playing (I'm a good girl. No, I'm a bad girl. But don't kiss me, I'm shy!), she now has you changing your personality to try and keep her around.

 

I dunno. At 27, is this really what you want? It sounds like junior high to me.

[iggy320]

I suppose you're right guys. I suppose I'll see where it goes. You know what, I'm going to just be myself. And if I have to talk to her about all this then so be it. And if it goes bad, oh well.

[Ms Darcy]

I love this response. "You are right, but I am going to think with my penis and keep seeing her."

 

Enjoy the drama.

[iggy320]

I'm not thinking with my penis! I don't care about all that, I'm just going to be myself and talk to her about it. I don't give a crap about sleeping with her at this point at all, if that's what I wanted I'd have a one night stand with someone else. That wasn't a very helpful response.

[Kitkat973]

I think that you should stop modifying your behavior by what you think she wants.

[Ms Darcy]

If you think that she is immature and playing games, for what other rational reason would you keep seeing her?

[Ariel85]

If you think that she is immature and playing games, for what other rational reason would you keep seeing her?

 

For the sheer challenge, of course!

[Timahani]

Im sorry you feel that way. Its really nerve recking when you have feelings for someone and you are not sure how they truly feel about you. As a result, I would say give it time. If you really like her and you think that she is a keeper, delay the physical affection, and try to develop a friendship. That way you will really get to know her deeply, and you will be able to make a proper assessment as to rather or not this person deserves you;sometimes it takes girls a little time to warm up to you, or to take things to the next level; if that is the case, there is nothing wrong with that. Push the the brakes a little on the mushy stuff and, give her some space to sort her feelings as well. You never know what will happen from there. Even if she doesn't come around or doesnt view you as a romantic partner, you might still have the opporitunity to be great friends....and because you respected her boundaries are wishes , she will always have a certain level of respect for you as well. Hope this helps. Good luck!:strawberry:

[genie12345]

She's shy and needs time to warm up to you. Focus on getting to know her and going to fun places and the rest will follow.

[boo121]

It looks like you might be chasing her a little bit, which is fine we've all done it at some point. Dont rush in so much i think that is what you're doing. If you do and initiate everything, it will drive her away. I think just some more confidence on your part would help, so yes take her to a movie and hold her hand, but after the date leave it at that, you might want to say "thanks i've enjoyed myself, maybe i'll see you around" and wait for her to get back to you.

 

She does look shy, but in my book i never "ask" a girl to kiss me, i just know when the right moment is and do it. I've been in situations where i knew it was never going to work so didnt ask cos i knew what the answer would be!

 

So take a more laid back approach i think iggy320 and you might get her to initiate a bit more hope this helps

[LoveGuru9]

Just because shes 21 and shy doesnt mean anything, Ive met girls who are in there late 20's and early 30's but are naturally shy and introverted individuals.

 

 

The ones who blossom slowly are the ones worth being intimate with,

 

"hey sexy" wouldnt appeal to me if a guy sent a text.

 

Be yourself, put it all on the table, and if she doesnt go for it, then on to the next one.

 

But just remember, a mans maturity level is delayed 3 years then women, (3 years ahead). Young women come with LESS baggage and more innocence to work with. Be patient and give it a shot, Hold her hand at the movies and she will melt in your arms if she knows your being patient and understanding.

 

I myself am a shy girl, attraction is important but intimacy is not necessary to completely tie of a relationship.

[iggy320]

Thanks for the replies guys. I think I've learned that I need to:

 

- Take a laid back approach and not "chase" her so hard.

- Be myself, because you can't fake it forever

 

Things are going really well with this girl. I dunno.. I just do all this reading on "being cocky and funny" and it just seems that's what girls want these days. But this girl actually seems really sweet! She was out drinking when she told me she wasn't a total good girl. But I think when she's sober she isn't like that at all.

 

I do see something in her and her being 21 doesn't bother me anymore. I think she likes me because she is talking to quite a few people about me. Her mom, friends at work, her brother, etc etc. She has a friend at work that I also work with, and tells me "hey she said hi" and it's cool because I talk to the girl I'm dating all the time lol. And she texts me "xox" etc when saying goodbye. So I mean, she deserves a shot I just have to remember those 2 points above. She's also in nursing school and I'm a nurse so it's great that we can share that in common.

 

If anything I might tell her "I wanna take things slow and I'm gonna be myself" but even then it doesn't seem like I need to say anything. Things just seem to be kind of.. flowing normally right now.