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Sexual frustration


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More than a year ago I met this girl online which I had a very fun time talking to and I finally decided to meet her in real life in july 2010. During those moments I really started to fall in love with her because she proved to have really good values. She has an awesome personality and is extremely attractive. I am not looking for the perfect person, because perfection doesn't exist and nobody is perfect, including me. So of course we had some differences but those were minor stuff, which really doesn't matter. She told me that she couldn't have sex before being with that person for 3 years. I agreed to this because I had no sexual desires.


The problem started shortly after, when we started dating in october, I am the kind of guy who is sexually attracted based on somebody's personality and not really their physical appearance. Hot girls never turned me on. So in other words, I am very rarely attracted to somebody, I am looking for specific things in a girl and the girl I met has everything, awesome personality, good looking and awesome values. To me, she is very attractive.


So the problem started, she enjoyed teasing me, saying stuff like "do you want sex with me?", "touch me..." and all you can think of to turn a guy on. So... I baited, it turned me on and of course I wanted sex but with the way she and the rest of her family handle sex, she wouldn't want to do it with me. So I had to relieve my frustraion by masturbating. It kept going for a while, I made sure to let her know... It didn't change, I told her again... I let her know... and nothing. Eventually she understood and stopped.


I never knew I would be that way considering I never had any sex drive before, until I met this girl which I really love. When we meet in real life, which is once every 3 months, we mess around for a bit, then eventually she stops doing anything. Which leaves me with sexual frustration again and having to masturbate.


The thing is, even if she stopped teasing me, I am unable to return back to normal... Sometimes I turn myself on by thinking about her without her doing anything. To relieve this frustration temporary, I masturbate. Masturbating only does so much though... Masturbating just isn't enough to relieve that frustration anymore, I need something new... She isn't very sexually active too, so we rarely mess around. She gave me a blow job once, which relieved the frustration completely for a couple days then she refused to do anything else.


I don't know what to do anymore, I want sex with her but she doesn't and I respect that but I have to deal with this problem and I don't know how to fix it.


It is making me so sad because the only way I may be able to relieve my frustration is by leaving her. I don't want to do that because she is so special to me and I am dating her because I am hoping to have a future with her, I am trying so hard to just keep it inside me and waiting until she is ready... I want it to be very fun for both of us, not just me. I am afraid that one day it will just be too much.


I love her so much and I am looking for a way to fix my issue and I don't know how. I would like some advices...



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I'm no expert when it comes to stuff like this but it seems to me that she was/is being a big tease! If she knew how frustrated you were becoming, she should've stopped this. Since I don't know her well, I can't tell you if she was doing this on purpose or not. However, from what you say, it seems like she kept doing this without realizing your frustration. Or perhaps, she's just a serial flirt! Who knows!


It's definitely frustrating when girls tease you like that. Hmm...like I said, I'm not an expert. I think some people are going to suggest that you give her some of her own medicine by reversing the roles. I think others are going to suggest talking it over with your girlfriend, and letting her know how much you dislike being teased. I personally don't know which one I'd go for if I were you!

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Reverse Roll

Tell her straight up you don't like it

Push a bit and see if she is just playing


In order of what I think would work best.

If she is doing this, reversing it may work if you do it subtly, but too much and you seem like a jerk.. "I don't like it so I'm going to do it to you and see how you like it" kinda attitude.

Telling her up front about it may turn her off of you because "He isn't much fun, can't even take a joke and then puts me on the spot about it"

Go for it may go badly "I TOLD HIM NO"


Soo... IDK

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The thing is, she stopped because I spoke to her, but it took a while so I don't believe it would be right for me to start teasing her. I believe the damage has already been done, as I can't seem to be able to go back the way I was before and just forget about sex altogether.


Any advice please? Thank you.

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