brokenheartedone Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Hey all, I really feel nothing for my boyfriend of 2 years. I havent for a very long time. He is so boring and dull, amongst many other things. I have only really just realized how i feel nothing for him, and that i get nothing out of this relationship. I feel like im wasting my youth and potential being around him. Sometimes he is ok, just the typical old bore. Sometimes i really really dislike him. I never feel anything more for him. He drives me insane and lately i just wish i hadnt met him. The problem is i may be co-dependant. And i am quite depressed. I feel i have nothing at all, no money or motivation to leave. I have nothing in life. So really, what does it matter if i stay with him? At least i wont be as bored. Thats basically all that it is. I dont really know what else to say. I have chronic depression, my relationship is useless, and this person i am with - i really dont like and bores the hell out of me. I am so bored and feel so hopeless with life, that i stay with him. What else do i have? I feel so massively hopeless and demotivated to even wash my clothes, or get out of bed. I cant lift a finger anymore. I wear the same clothes everyday. I waste all my money on gambling. I sit on my ass everyday in front of the computer or sleeping. I study at college, yet i dont attend all classes and have not studied a single thing all year. Im serious when i say i cannot lift a finger to do anything anymore. I am quite underweight, smoke like a chimney (even though i really want to quit,but i cant stick to anything for more than 5 minutes) etc etc etc. Have bad family issues, anxiety and panic attacks, trauma and personality disorders etc etc. I am quite physically and mentally unwell. I am also confused. Due to all my ailments, is this the reason i dislike and feel nothing for my boyfriend? Or do i just genuinely dislike him, ailments aside? I really dont know. I tend to worry myself to death. So, if i didnt have all these problems, would i still dislike the boyfriend? or would i be happy and content? Who god dam knows.. Can anyone relate?Can anyone share experience and advice? -I have medication and a pdoc etc. I am yet to take the new medication. I will soon. Dont see how anything can make me feel any different to how i feel now. Maybe im not ill, maybe some people are just like this? I am so fkn sick of this never ending gigantic frantic effort struggle with life and this relationship. All i can do is just lay in bed. I dont even feel sad, mad, glad, bad anymore. Just numb. Link to comment
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