Feeling guilty for the crimes of others

[bertdru]

Do you ever feel this way? Whenever I read some news item about rape cases or sexual abuse cases, I feel so guilty and responsible even though I know I am not guilty. For example, yesterday I saw a movie about child sexual abuse and I was so down throughout the day. I felt so guilty.

 

It is as if I feel guilty and responsible for the crimes of all men. I know that sounds ridiculous and pathetic but somehow I am not able to shake that feeling.

 

Sexual abuse is worse(than say, domestic violence) since it reminds me of my own sexual desires and somehow I feel guilty for feeling sexual desires at all.

 

Does anybody else feel this way or am I alone in this?

[Honey Pumpkin]

Given your other threads (for example: ), I woiuld say you would really benefit from seeing a counsellor and talking this through. I am disturbed by your posts on sexual violence, and I don't think anyone here has the expertise to help you - I'm not trying to be unhelpful or unkind, it's good that you're so open, but I worry about you and I worry about the direction your thoughts are going.

[In the Dark]

I assume if you feel that you have wanted to do something similar then you may have feelings of guilt.

 

Me personally don't feel guilt at all.

I feel enraged that someone would go to such an extent to get their end off.

Complete disreagrd for the person they are doing it to.

A person is a person male or female, and they should not be forced to do anything of such a nature beyond their own will.

[bertdru]

Given your other threads (for example: ), I woiuld say you would really benefit from seeing a counsellor and talking this through. I am disturbed by your posts on sexual violence, and I don't think anyone here has the expertise to help you - I'm not trying to be unhelpful or unkind, it's good that you're so open, but I worry about you and I worry about the direction your thoughts are going.

 

I don't see why it is disturbing since I am not going to hurt anybody. I just feel guilty about these things happening.

[Cheetarah]

No, I do not feel guilty, I feel sickened, repulsed, disgusted, angry.

 

You mentioned in your other thread that while you know rape is wrong and you would not, you have felt jealous that they could 'get sex'. So the fact that you feel guilty would make sense - But I do think this is an issue you should take up with a therapist. You seem very keenly self-aware and like HP says, open, and I think therapy could really help you sort out through your sexual guilt and anger. Don't let it simmer.

[FathomFear]

I don't see why it is disturbing since I am not going to hurt anybody. I just feel guilty about these things happening.

 

It's disturbing because you'd admitted just recently to the fact that even rapists make you "jealous" because they get physical affection. Now you are saying that you start to feel guilt when the topic of rape or sexual abuse arises. Both of these are signs that you need serious attention, bertdu. I'm not sure how many other threads it's going to take where you get told the same thing over and over again. You must know on some level that this isn't normal. So why not do something about it?

[sjustine]

I don't think you should feel guilty for having sexual feelings, its normal as long as your not turned on by the idea of rape. There are plenty of women out there who want it too, consensually. And you don't need to feel guilty for the crimes of all men, if you haven't done those crimes yourself. As a female, i definitely get enraged at the things some men will do, so maybe your just feeling angry at the actions of a subset of your gender? If these thoughts don't go away, I agree it might be helpful to talk to a professional.

[EeqMC2]

Do you ever feel this way? Whenever I read some news item about rape cases or sexual abuse cases, I feel so guilty and responsible even though I know I am not guilty. For example, yesterday I saw a movie about child sexual abuse and I was so down throughout the day. I felt so guilty.

 

It is as if I feel guilty and responsible for the crimes of all men. I know that sounds ridiculous and pathetic but somehow I am not able to shake that feeling.

 

Sexual abuse is worse(than say, domestic violence) since it reminds me of my own sexual desires and somehow I feel guilty for feeling sexual desires at all.

 

Does anybody else feel this way or am I alone in this?

 

Yes I do. You have psychic empathy, and I have the same ability. Its something that we all have, one just has to learn to stop categorizing things as good or bad. It is this polarity that causes ppl to do things in the first place. Personally, when ppl do anything, I have a tendency to subconciously try and understand what could have cause them to do that. I remove myself from the equation and put myself in their shoes, then I feel guilt as if I did it. The stronger thing here is that we are all one, so I personally feel responsible when ppl do heinous acts. No, you're not at risk of doing these things (unless you are), you are blaming yourself first before you blame others. This is very responsible. and if ppl would learn to love those who commit acts, just as much as we love the victims then the world will be a better place as well.

 

FYI, this empathy does not stop at crimes. It arises when I think of gay ppl, rich ppl, racist white ppl, hateful ppl. I honestly try and understand where their lack of understanding lies. I never respond negatively to ppl who are acting in a 'dark' fashion, because this only proliferates the cycle. it is very irresponsible to point fingers at ppl, even who committed crimes.

 

There are villages around the world that punish their criminals with hugs, love, and long speeches about the good things that lie within them, instead of labeling them as a criminal. The cycle lies within us, whether we actively consider doing them or even think about them. You are becoming elucidated to the union of all creatures in the world.

 

Dont be disuaded by the ppl in this thread who think you are troubled. Their stance of placing blame and pointing fingers only keeps the cycle of homicide, hate and evil going in full fashion. I feel just as terribly for the ppl woh committed said crimes, as I do about the victims because its only a cycle. To break it, we must stop pointing fingers and feel... which u r doing. even 5 years later, you deserve applause!!

[EeqMC2]

It's disturbing because you'd admitted just recently to the fact that even rapists make you "jealous" because they get physical affection. Now you are saying that you start to feel guilt when the topic of rape or sexual abuse arises. Both of these are signs that you need serious attention, bertdu. I'm not sure how many other threads it's going to take where you get told the same thing over and over again. You must know on some level that this isn't normal. So why not do something about it?

 

You are misguided in your concern. They are not signs that s/he needs serious attention. They are signs that s/he has the gift of psychic empathy.. You are suffering from the 'X-Men' syndrome. A closed mind living in a evolving world... Youre attempts at waving your magic finger wand shows how ignorant you are at the complexity of the human mind and spirit. we are all one, thats why s/he feels guilty... and i currently feel sorry for you and your lack of compassion.

[EeqMC2]

yes, you are in the dark when it comes to powers beyond your current level of low comprehension... evolve my friend, and join the fraternity that would love to welcome you... if not, then in the words of beanie segal in State Property... "Get down... Or lay down". its that simple. its not up to u either, u will be left in the dust my friend...