DividedSky Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I stumbled accross this forum looking for some help and after reading a few threads I was relieved that I could really connect with some of the posts. Hopefully someone here can give me some insight, bear with me on the length. I’m 28 and I’ve never had a serious relationship, I have dated some girls and had some one night stands but never anything solid. I have been used, burned, rejected and stuck in the friend zone so many times it’s almost maddening. Over the years I became more and more shy because of all my experiences with women and has been my ruin many times by being afraid to make a move. It has been FIVE years since I have dated or actively pursued a girl. All along I have remained happy being single, probably mainly because all my friends * * * * * to me about their girlfriends/wives. Lately something has changed and although I have been extremely lonely for quite some time it just never affected until recently. I have been really down in the dumps about it and blaming myself for my lack of trying and my shyness getting in my way. I’ve also realized as I aged and didn’t put in any effort it is harder for me to meet girls and even more so to have the courage to talk to them. Just recently I met a girl and I am really struggling, I don’t want to screw it up again because of being shy, nervous or worrying about rejection. I work as the assistant head butcher in a grocery store. Earlier this month I went to the office to use a computer and a new girl was in there doing her training. When I sat down she initiated with a ‘Hey how are you?’ which is awesome for me since I’m shy haha. I talked to her a minute or so joking about how excruciatingly boring the computer training is and then left and went back down to work. A few days later I saw her in passing and we greeted each other. I asked someone at work if they knew how old she was. They told me but instantly knew why I was asking. Without me knowing they asked this girl if she had a boyfriend, and told me she said no and seemed excited. This actually makes me really uncomfortable because now I feel really on the spot. Anyhow flash forward a few days and I am getting some groceries after work and she is a cashier so I decided to go through her line. She seemed kinda excited that I came through her line, I asked her how she was liking it so far and she said she had worked for our company before back home but she liked it so far, I asked where she was from and we chatted about that I paid said goodbye have a nice day and left. Probably the only time in my life I haven’t been a bumbling nervous fool talking to a girl I’m attracted to. Then I realized every time I had talked to her I hadn’t been wearing my name tag or introduced myself, I knew her name but she didn’t know mine. Last week I was getting some groceries again and she was bagging on the register next to the one I was in. We both caught each other looking at each other then both looked away twice. When I was about to leave I said ‘Hey (her name) I never really introduced myself my name is _____’ and reached out my hand to shake hers, she seems kinda weirded out but shook my hand and told me her name then I got nervous and abruptly ended the conversation and split. I tend to over analyze everything and I am having a hard time figuring out if she was creeped out (for some reason I find it odd for a guy to shake a girls hand on introduction and don’t know why I did it) or if she is just as nervous as I am since I said her name but she still told me her name. I don’t see her often because we work different shifts and departments and a lot of times. Plus she is usually on register and pretty much my only chance to talk to her is go through her line and I don’t want to do that too much and creep her out. The other day she worked and I passed her twice when I went on break, and she never looked at me, I’m hoping it was because she was busy. Today I passed by her when she was on register and I saw her look at me out of the corner of her eye then look away when I saw her, but she was with a customer and I don’t find it appropriate to try to strike up conversation at that time. I really just want to get the opportunity to hang out with her or talk on the phone and get to know her a little bit. But I’m too nervous to do anything now and I don’t know when it’s proper to ask her for her number or on a date. Any kind of advice is much appreciated. And again sorry about the length but I just coudln't keep this short I'm more and more a nervous wreck daily haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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