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Better to break up in order to fix things or break up only when you're ready.


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I'm kind of in a situation that you all know of if you've been following my posts.


Short Version: Relationship complicated by varying degrees of wanting commitment, and recently he's wanting to be committed to me while still doing things that bother me.


If I try to talk about the things that bother me, 90% of the time he'll just tell me to "get over it."

I could break up with him now - but I know I'd probably want him back eventually. Maybe he'd change? (Probably not.)

I can just wait it out, try to keep talking about things, but I can pretty much tell where this is going, especially since our communication is bad. I'll end up leaving in a few months and it will be permanent. (When I make up my mind that's how it is.)


This relationship was never golden, but I wanted it so badly to work out .. that's why I held on for so long. But no relationship is ever golden. Sigh. I feel like I get myself into these impossible situations. I know no relationship problem is the result of just one person. I'm at fault for being here. I keep trying to express how I feel, but it's hard. I don't think I can fix this anymore, I don't know if I can keep forgiving anymore. I'm at a point where many people (with maybe good intentions? I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore) are saying I deserve so much better.


The ironic thing is he's really the kind of guy I like. Even the kind of guy I can see myself having a family with. I keep being attracted to men like this and this will keep happening. It's just a brutal cycle. I want it to stop. I want to not break up with him. But I'm not getting what I need ... bah!


Thanks for listening, as always.


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