D you dislike younger people?

[bertdru]

Surprising. For some time, I didn't have this problem. So here I am, 27 years old.

 

Nowadays I feel an extreme dislike for younger people. Today I saw this guy in his older teens. He was multitalented and he was showing off before me. I tried to smile as if I was appreciating him. But I just wanted to get up and slap him and tell him to stop showing off. I just couldn't stand how these younger kids have done so much more than me and I was nothing but a loser at their age.

 

Yes, this is very petty. But I just couldn't stand it.

 

I try not look at younger women because then I would feel desire, which is unnecessary. Yesterday there was a woman at work(who might be 5 years younger). She was so smart and talented, I just wanted to get out of there.

 

Is it normal to feel jealous of younger people?

 

I sometimes wonder how it is even possible to look forward to life since we are never going to become younger, only older. Things are only going to get worse.

[OptomisticGirl]

It sounds like you aren't jealous of younger people in general, just those that have achieved something you hadn't when you were their age.

[sophie274]

Well, this is obviously about you, not about these younger people you are running into.

 

A few thoughts ...

 

Everything looks perfect from far away. Teenagers especially are famous for putting on a big front of self-confidence and bravado, when inside they are the most insecure and fragile creatures on this planet. To be honest, I find it surprising that a grown man would be jealous of a teenager - the teen years are notoriously difficult and a roller coaster of emotions, and most everyone feels misunderstood and awkward at that stage. I'm sure you have accomplished lots and matured lots in your years since you were a teen - be proud of that!

 

Even if you were a loser at that age, and you wish your childhood had gone differently, well, there's nothing you can do about that now. And it's a waste of time to wish you had been different back then. Focus on what you can do NOW to make your life the way you want it to be, and live the way you want to. You won't be thinking of how much of a loser you were in high school if you get to a place where you are happy with your life now, and proud of who you are.

 

I do think it is fairly common to sometimes look at younger people wistfully, because they have so much energy and so much life ahead of them, everything is full of possibilities ... but the degree of jealousy and anger you are experiencing does not seem normal or healthy to me. Especially since, you are SO young. 27 is YOUNG, not old. You're one of the ones who still have their whole life ahead of them! And I think you are really idealizing the teens and early twenties, which are a roller coaster for lots of people, and a time when many feel like they don't quite fit in, or feel a bit lost. I work with teenagers, and I adore them - they make me laugh so much, and make me smile, and I love spending time with them. But there's not a single piece of me that wishes I were still in high school. I think life is better now - I have so much more independence and control over my life, and have so many options. Working and making money has opened up a ton of possibilities: I don't have to ask anyone for permission to travel to Asia, buy a car, eat ice cream late at night, stay in bed until noon, go back to school ... The teenagers I work with are, for the most part, incredible youngsters, and yet they are cripplingly insecure. I often feel plagued by low self-esteem and self-confidence, but I am a world ahead of them in feeling self-assured and knowing who I am and what I stand for. I'm almost 24, and I think there's a lot to look forward to. More independence, making a career for myself, probably going back to school, hopefully meeting someone, falling in love, getting married, raising children, traveling around the world, learning new things. I think life is definitely going to get better!

[Seraphim]

No, I am pretty happy with where I am, so I do not dislike anyone. Find something you like to do and stop comparing yourself. There will always be better,smarter, better looking, more accomplished, whatever, just do not compare yourself, you are YOU.

[sophie274]

No, I am pretty happy with where I am, so I do not dislike anyone. Find something you like to do and stop comparing yourself. There will always be better,smarter, better looking, more accomplished, whatever, just do not compare yourself, you are YOU.

 

Yes, this made me think of something else. We never see ourselves as others see us, and I truly think we often see ourselves in a much more critical eye than others do. Often we are our harshest critics. So while you're gazing wistfully as these people, they might be looking at you and wishing they were in your shoes. "Wow, he's 27, and already has work experience under his belt, knows what he's doing, he gets to live on his own and not worry about parents, etc". I see this all the time when I meet people actually. I grew up in a place that a lot of people fantasize about and want to travel to, and whenever people found out I grew up there they will be really excited and "awed" and envious. (I hope this doesn't sound like I'm boasting, obviously it's not an accomplishment of mine to have been born somewhere, lol). Anyway, I'm always surprised because to me it's just the place I grew up and all my friends grew up there too, and it doesn't feel like anything that special, but to others it is exotic. Or, for instance, my parents moved around a fair bit when I was little, a few different countries - and people I meet will say "oh gosh, how wonderful to move around, that's such a great opportunity", and meanwhile, I'm super envious of their childhoods because they got to stay in one house and one neighborhood, and keep the same friends. Just to say, we often idealize others' lives.

[wolflovesmoon]

i dislike teenagers only because they are snobby and have this attitude of ingratitude. because they think they are grown, smart and they can do anything they want.

[Seraphim]

i dislike teenagers only because they are snobby and have this attitude of ingratitude. because they think they are grown, smart and they can do anything they want.

 

That is a phase that goes away when the brain is more developed. I just shrug, we were all there once.

[Stay_home]

It's not everybody, so I don't dislike all teenagers.

 

For myself personally, I didn't really enjoy my teenage years. I didn't know who I was. I felt like an outcast for most of it, trying to figure out where I belong and who I was, what direction to go in. It was a miserable time in my life, that I wouldn't ever envy any of the teenagers now. I enjoy being independent, making my own decisions and appreciate the fact that I was able to escape those years. Teenagers have it pretty hard, there's so much social pressure, peer pressure and crossroads upon threshold to adulthood that some get lost, they get mixed up and sometimes bad decisions from poor judgment, inexperience and misguidance can land them dead, in jail or without some of the same opportunities as their peers.

 

I would know. I'm a police officer and I see a lot of that. But I also see a lot to know that not every single teenager will be the exact same in 10 years time when they get to be our age (I'm 27 too). And I'm glad that there are indeed some teenagers out there who are doing something positive. It makes my job a lot easier out here....

[thejigsup]

Nah. I love everyone based on their personality, not their age. That kind of thinking stunts you. Let it go.

[bertdru]

But just think about it - is it going to get better? I am 27 and I am not good looking. Now how are my looks going to get better as I get older? Doesn't that bother you sometimes?

[chitown9]

But just think about it - is it going to get better? I am 27 and I am not good looking. Now how are my looks going to get better as I get older? Doesn't that bother you sometimes?

 

I don't agree. I think that some people actually do look better as they get older. It is surprising to me, but it is true!

[sophie274]

But just think about it - is it going to get better? I am 27 and I am not good looking. Now how are my looks going to get better as I get older? Doesn't that bother you sometimes?

 

Well, first of all, there's much more to life than your looks. I have no idea what you look like, of course, but I can say that I know a number of people whom I don't consider attractive at all who seem to lead very happy, fulfilling lives.

 

Many men actually do get better looking in their 30s and 40s, sort of grow into their looks and lose some youthful awkwardness. I was at a party last night where most of the guests were older than me, and a lot of the men in their 30s and early 40s looked really good.

[Jake]

I don't necessarily "dislike" younger people per-say. I think it's more I'm incompatible, friendship wise, with many people my age. I don't know, some say it's because I'm more mature for my age while others say it's because I take life a little too seriously. I think it's combination of both with the combined fact that I'm more shy and reserved than other people. I mostly get along with people older then me (26, 27, ect.). The few friends that I do have that are my age are similar in personality to me.

[Mayumi]

I just wish they'd pull their pants up.

[beautifulzen]

People often "age well." I think my boyfriend is better looking now (at 46 years old) than he did in pictures I saw of him from when he was 25.

 

Why begrudge younger people, or anyone, for that matter, their looks or accomplishments? Focus on your own life and improving what you feel is lacking.

[ApocalypseDreams]

I love how short a memory the older generations have in regards to being young. Every generation is viewed as somehow being more hedonistic, materialistic, lazier, outragenous in what they wear and less responsible by the generations before them.

 

And even if that is true, who is responsible for instilling the values of younger people? The previous generations! If you think kids today are super materialistic maybe that is because they have been targeted for marketing by a bunch of 40 year olds since the time they can walk.

[meoww]

People even 5-10 years younger than me have better access to well, pretty much everything but a surprising number of them don't take advantage of it. For me it's more of a class thing. I'm very envious of those who had great role models growing up. People say Warren Buffet is such a self made man but his parents were Congressmen. At least his dad was or something. So inequality is really depressing to me, because by the time you become aware of it, it's rather late in the game.

 

Onwards and upwards...

[Philos]

People even 5-10 years younger than me have better access to well, pretty much everything but a surprising number of them don't take advantage of it. For me it's more of a class thing. I'm very envious of those who had great role models growing up. People say Warren Buffet is such a self made man but his parents were Congressmen. At least his dad was or something. So inequality is really depressing to me, because by the time you become aware of it, it's rather late in the game.

 

Onwards and upwards...

 

I agree with this. It feels like I spent the first 23 years of my life digging a hole without me knowing it, and now I've found that I'm way behind where I could have been or where a lot of my peers are.

[ApocalypseDreams]

I agree with this. It feels like I spent the first 23 years of my life digging a hole without me knowing it, and now I've found that I'm way behind where I could have been or where a lot of my peers are.

 

Philos, if you don't mind me asking, what was the hole you dug for yourself?

[Philos]

Philos, if you don't mind me asking, what was the hole you dug for yourself?

 

I didn't apply myself in high school, I became a pothead going into community college, I never really applied myself looking for jobs the first few years out of high school or trying to work one steady job, I spent most of my time playing computer games, I never made any redeeming relationships, I never tried very hard to date, I never tried to improve myself, etc.....

 

There are people I went to high school with who have their MA, a wife, and a good job. It's harder now to try to get those things for me. I've made like $15,000 in my life and spent most of it on weed.

 

Thankfully I'm living a much better life now that has real potential to achieve the things I want (financial security, a family), but I'm not having any luck getting that first big step (a good job in my field).

[twentiesgirl86]

I dislike people my age and younger, but for different reasons. I find that a lot of them (not all, I have a few people my age or younger I get along with) who are so rude. Just the other day, this older lady (maybe late forties/early fifties) dropped a bunch of her groceries on the ground. These guys, they had to have been about my age maybe a few years younger laughed at her because she was overweight. I'm going to be 25 in a few days, so it's kind of ridiculous. They didn't bother to help her out at all. They started to make fun of her instead. I stopped to help her bag her groceries and she complained to me that she gets that a lot. She told me she finds a lot of young people these days to be so rude. I don't know if it's these days, or if it's just the age group but people in their teens to mid twenties seem to be rude and shallow.

 

I find this a lot as well. I was raised to respect my elders and everyone around me. I will hold the door open for people. I will help people if they need it. In general, I am respectful. However, I find a lot of people just aren't. The other day when I was carrying my laundry to the elevator these two young girls quickly shut the elevator door and laughed at me as the door shut. I saw that the elevator stopped at the second floor, meanwhile I am on the tenth. While I don't think it's okay, I find that this kind of behaviour should exist with teenagers but it doesn't. Those girls looked older than their teens, but I think they were younger than me. It still stays with people into their twenties. It's something I am hoping people grow out of. I kind of thought people would have grown out of it by the age of 25, but people I know who I went to High School with are still silly and immature idiots.

 

I get along with people who are older than me. I don't see that kind of behaviour with people in their 30's or 40's.