chocolate-cake Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 One of my male friends, well I thought that he was a friend, who I had just been in contact with regularly again after a few years made a move on me today via IM. We had been talking about every other day for the past few months and he kept bugging me to meet up. He knows I have a BF as we talk about relationships alot and he complains that it is hard to find a nice GF. I even try and give him advise. Today we were talking and he asked to come to my house ( i live with my parents and we havent seen each other in about 2 years) I of course said no, and that I was busy but we can arrange to do something another time. He then started saying that I am really attractive and stuff about sex. I said I have a BF which you know about, we havent seen each other in years and even if I was single I would not just jump into bed. Then he removed me from blackberry, and text me saying "I cant be dealing with girls like you who dont know what they want" I am really upset about this, although he was not close I really felt we were going to have a good friendship his job is in the field that I am going into and we live nearby. I didnt reply to the message as I was in shock so should I just forget about him since he is an idiot.? I just feel betrayed Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Doesn't sound like he should be your 'friend' anymore. Link to comment
Pinnacle Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Are you honestly that surprised? Guys have the hots for their female friends 9 times out of 10. There was probably an emotional trigger earlier in the day for him to admit all of this, but I digress. Link to comment
blackhawks1287 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Sorry to say...but if a man is single...8/10 times there is no just friends and there are buried feelings deep down in hopes something will happen...forcefully or not... All you did was weed it out...don't be sad, but glad... No matter what a woman says, and not all guys are the same, but just friends in more cases than not does not exist...more so if you are very young... Which is why I find it funny when girls say...we're just friends....okay...sure...find someone else who will believe that bs...because I wont. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I would forget about him. You spurned his advances and he got nasty ... thats not much of a friend is it? He was probably always hoping more than friendship to be honest and always will while you stay friends with him. I think it would be too much hard work to be honest. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Sorry that you had an unpleasant experience but you really need to understand GUY 101. As the other posters have mentioned, guys rarely have "good friendships" with attractive women without something going on under the radar. He decided that he wanted to know if there was a chance at at all so he made the "all in move" and forced you to take a stand. He then cut his losses (time invested with you with no chance of a sexual return), blasted you and then moved on. If you look at it in the harsh light of reality, you both had agendas. He was going to be the nice, local contact that you were cultivating for future assistance in your field. He.....?? Well, he was only willing to give so much but the overriding goal was to get you into bed. Live and learn. It does not excuse his loutish behavior but you are going to run into this kind over and over again in your professional life. The goal is to spot them quickly and drop them before they create an awkward moment. Another tip is to only befriend men that are acquainted with you and your boyfriend. At least there is some trust issue established. Believe me, this guy saw your boyfriend only as some guy you hooked up with while you did not know him. You cannot assume that "name checking him" with references to your boyfriend will create a deterrent from him viewing you as a potential conquest. Tons of guys have waited patiently in the "friend zone" for the exact right moment, drunken breakup fight with boyfriend, to guide the situation to where they always wanted to go. This guy was an opportunist who just got tired of waiting. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Sorry to say...but if a man is single...8/10 times there is no just friends and there are buried feelings deep down in hopes something will happen...forcefully or not... All you did was weed it out...don't be sad, but glad... No matter what a woman says, and not all guys are the same, but just friends in more cases than not does not exist...more so if you are very young... Which is why I find it funny when girls say...we're just friends....okay...sure...find someone else who will believe that bs...because I wont. Yup, take this as a lesson learned. Very rarely just friends. Link to comment
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