flaminghair81 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Recap of my current situation with my bf of almost 9 months. Met in January, sparks flew. We were hot and heavy from day 1. At the end of April he became sick, was hospitalized and had surgery. This was the first time he ever had been admitted to a hospital, had surgery, been that sick and so on. What he had was a bacteria that is very dangerous and hard to kill. He came home from the hospital on IV meds, I moved in to help administer them and take care of him. He was on those for 6 weeks, now he will be on oral antibiotics for 6-9 more months, a pill every 6 hours. The end of May, his kids came for the summer. Both kids told him that they wanted to live with him. He tried to work something out with his ex, she said no. A few factors made taking her to court then difficult, so the kids went back at the end of July. They live in different state, 14 hrs away. After returning the kids, his ex has restricted his phone contact with them by taking away his daughter's phone and not answering hers or calling him back. He has spoken to them twice since he dropped them off. Our relationship has been very strained. There was so much stress and crazy happening around us, we've seriously grown apart. He is also a very different man since his sickness. He went from being very affectionate and loving, to not touching me at all except for routing peck kisses in the AM and PM. He is the type that when he is stressed, he stops talking. There were many days this summer where we did not speak at all. I have gone through numerous emotions during this. Thinking it was me that was the reason for his behavior. After our last big issue earlier this week, I have been able to step back and analyze the situation, taking my emotions out of it. I honestly think that he is suffering from depression and is not able to cope with things, thus he is keeping me at a distance. I know he loves me. I can see it in his eyes that he does. I know that he wants to be with me and he wants to continue to live together, sleep in the same bed and so on. I love him very deeply and I don't want to give up on our relationship yet. I talked to him in late May that he was depressed and should go talk to someone about it and he got very angry and defensive. He does not see the distance he keeps me at and seems comfortable. I honestly don't think that there could be a switch that is flipped that causes someone to change overnight, so I know that man from the beginning of our relationship is still there somewhere. I can catch glimpses here and there of him. I know that if I bring this up again, he will push further away. Has anyone here gone through something similar, where their bf or husband became depressed? What advice can you give me to help me help him get through this without being so forward about it? What advice can you give me to stay sane and to not give up when we have another bad day? I really would appreciate it! Link to comment
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