Online Dating

[jordzz2011]

Hey Guys and Girls,

 

I am currently trying out online dating and swinging. Now I've read a few tips on what to put in those first emails but wanted some advice on how to ensure that some of the women I'm messaging reply, so here's my template:

 

Hey,

 

I came accross your profile and liked what I found I hope you don't mind me saying I am looking for a woman who is professional, fun and respectful and you seem exactly that. So message me back, It'd be great to have a chat and get to know you better, who knows you might like what you find too x

 

Be brutally honest please!

 

Cheers again,

 

Richy

 

x

[indea08]

I think that will blend in with any other first time emails. When you find someone you like, point out something specific that you really noticed. Share a specific hobby that you have in common, that way its less vague.

[ApocalypseDreams]

It does seem a bit generic.

[shuttlefish]

For every one woman who wants to try swinging (or is into swinging) there are 100 or more men. Even dating sites seem to be skewed to favour women (as far as quantity is concerned, though any women will attest to the lack of quality however). You will need to stand out somehow or risk being lost in the crowd, competition is fierce.

[timlondon]

Hey Guys and Girls,

 

I am currently trying out online dating and swinging. Now I've read a few tips on what to put in those first emails but wanted some advice on how to ensure that some of the women I'm messaging reply, so here's my template:

 

Hey,

 

I came accross your profile and liked what I found I hope you don't mind me saying I am looking for a woman who is professional, fun and respectful and you seem exactly that. So message me back, It'd be great to have a chat and get to know you better, who knows you might like what you find too x

 

Be brutally honest please!

 

Cheers again,

 

Richy

 

x

 

This is pretty terrible to be honest. It's basically spam, it's completely generic and shows no effort or individuality. Online dating is basically even more cut-throat than real-life dating. Read through their profile, identify something funny or a unique angle from their profile, and ask or make a joke about it.

[wolflovesmoon]

To do it right:

Read her profile. Every word of it!

 

Girls are excellent at writing dating profiles. They will give you a lot of information about what she is looking for and why, how she wants it to come along and so forth. Some sites allow linking to a website, if that is the case; check her website for even more information on how to approach her or what she is like. If you think it is cheating to find out what she likes before you email her, it’s really not. It shows that you are interested and most men skip this part, so you will come out ahead.

 

Instead of introducing yourself, talk about her

 

A lot of people start an email by telling the reader who they are. That is fine and all, but don’t you find it hard to try to sell yourself to a total stranger? Instead, write about her, why exactly did you find her interesting, and why you wanted to contact her in the first place. That makes her feel like you actually do mean to contact her and not just any girl.

 

At the same time, as you are writing about her, you will probably find things you have in common, like: “I read in your profile that you like fast cars. I immediately thought I must write to you, as I recently bought a Ferrari.” (Yeah, keep on dreaming, but you get my point.) It might be animals, computers, philosophy or other topic that is common to you, bring that up. If there isn’t anything like that, but you still want to write to her, mention the reason why, but don’t just cop out by saying you really like her boobs, ass or figure in general.

 

Avoid clichés at all cost. Don’t use words like “sexy” “hot” or “pretty”. It may be a surprise to you, but even “beautiful” should be avoided, as the beautiful girls have heard it so many times it makes no impact anymore. My husband described me “sensual” in his first email in case you are curious. Be as sincere as you can, be happy to compliment her even if she wasn’t interested in you.

Tell her what you want

 

Be honest in your email. If you want a casual relationship, say so. If you are not sure what you want, tell her that. If you just expect someone to talk to or what ever you may be after, tell her. That will save both of you time and heart ache. Don’t assume that all girls want a serious relationship from the day one, so what ever it is you want might or might not be what she wants. Pretending is never good, as you will appear sleazy and that will not get you far with most girls.

 

Include your photo – of your face

 

No matter what you look like, always include a photo of yourself to the email or on your dating profile. It is more important to show of your face than it is to show of any other part of your body or your motor bike, so make sure there is a good photo of your face in there. Do not use drunken party photos. As amusing as they may be to you, the girl will think that is when you are at your best – not a good sign! In addition, avoid too serious business type of photos; unless you are after women who will love you for your money – this is not a job interview.

 

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT include a photo of you surrounded by women or a photo that you cropped an ex-girlfriend out off but still leaving her arm around your neck. Take a photo without any specific theme to it (white background and casual clothing) or doing something you love or with something you love, like your dog. (Girls love guys with dogs, but don’t make the mistake of borrowing one, as it will come up in the conversation!)

 

You might be apprehensive about adding your photo. I have a few reasons why you should have one up though.

 

First off, men who don’t have a photo up are normally either:

 

Married or in a serious relationship

Very seriously ugly

Insecure and secretive

Computer illiterate or

Wanted for murder

 

None of these reasons make you look good, and there is no other good reason not to put your picture up. Even if you weren’t the hunkiest guy on the planet, there will be girls who find you the cutest thing alive, especially the one you are looking for. If there is a valid reason why you can’t put a photo up, online dating is probably not for you. don`t Copy and past, everybody knows how to do that. she may turn she have had that e-mail sent to her by another Dude. Be creative, be funny and be strong. Get her see your point but know that not every woman will respond to you. Good luck

[Lovelace]

Are you online dating ONLY for the purpose of finding some swinging partners? You might be better off joining a club, or at least a specific swingers dating site. If you look for this on a normal dating site, you're going to run into the problem of most women searching for just one guy to be a relationship with. I would also list yourself as 'casual encounters', because swinging is not the same as polyamory; it's more about just the sex.

 

But if you are looking to actually date, then by all means list that as well.

 

Your email would be dumped because it's a form letter, and women routinely disregard anyone who treats them like a number or a warm body. You should keep the greeting email short, expressing interest, and a very specific reason why you would like to talk to HER. It doesn't have to be long, or a big deal, but write something that compliments her ability to stand out from the crowd in some way. For instance, I would respond to:

 

"Hey, I just had to write you because I went to the same college as you. Don't you just miss the South? Of course, I'm glad you moved to my neighborhood now. You're beautiful, of course, and love the same authors as I do. Who could beat that?"

 

If you're just looking for swinging partners, though, your best bet might be to just say something like, "Hey, I'm thinking about getting a swingers party together. Interested in joining us?" No need to beat around the bush when it's all about sex.

[Oneironaut]

I agree completely with wolflovesmoon in that it's important to ask about -them- in the first contact.

 

Asking questions shows that you are more interested in learning about her than talking about yourself.

[GettingBetter]

What do you all think of including a photo of you ballroom dancing with a girl? I have that on my profile, as one of several pictures. We're not dancing close or anything -- we're just dancing. It's something I do often.