Can single males and females be 'just friends'

[Flyingpiglet]

Can single girls and single guys become friends?

I’m not talking after a relationship of any sort, just in general.

 

I’ll spare you all the details… Basically, a guy with mutual acquaintances asked me out. I told him no because I wasn’t ready for dating etc after my recent ‘situation’ he convinced me that he was all for just being friends… You can never have too many friends, right?

 

So after making sure he knew exactly where I stood, we went out for drinks. We had a good time but I felt nothing more than friendship. We did this a few times, and then he told me I would be the perfect girl for him. I kept cool and explained my feelings best I could (basically, at that moment, I would have gone back to my ex in a blink).

 

He seemed to accept this; I hoped we could carry on as friends. But last time we went out, he basically kicked off big style and accused me of leading him on.

 

He has since apologised and I’ve accepted but, I doubt I will be comfortable enough to carry on the friendship I thought we had (though group situations will be OK I imagine).

 

I do have male friends generally but they are mostly in couples (I’m friends with the respective partners also) or guys I have met while one or the other of us has been involved with someone else.

 

Just for the record, I have never done more than give this man a friendly hug and peck on the cheek when we’ve met

[1m50L0nl3y]

Yes it's possible, I have lots of single girls as friends, only once had some sort of problem with one.

I don't see how can he possibly think your leading him on, you were sincere from the start, he was the one who wanted to go out with you. He is the one who's not honest, he wanted to use the "let's be friends" tactic (which never works) it backfired and now he is complaining. I don't agree with his way but it seems he is really into you tho.

[ApocalypseDreams]

Yes, single males and females can be friends. I have several single female friends, some of which are very close. All of them are attractive and any other guy would be lucky to have but they aren't to my taste.

 

Friendships between males and females need honesty and limits. Like the poster above said, your friend wasn't being honest with you. Intentions need to be expressed early on and behavior that might be confused for romantic interest needs to be avoided.

[lapse]

Have had lots of platonic male friends. This way common attitude that males and females can't be friends because someone always wants more is so ridiculously closed-minded.

 

FP, I think the guy was just really disappointed and took it out on you. Because regardless of how honest you were, in his mind he was hoping that if you got to know him, you'd change your mind. He was just coming from a totally different place. Happens. Disappointment hurts. You just keep being you.

[imsuperman]

Well, let me put it this way. Many women I know who have a lot of male friends happen to be very attractive. I personally think this is because a lot of guys try to get acquainted with a woman using the "just friends" tactic. They think hopefully she will see them as something more or maybe date them if her and her current bf break up.

 

But that's just my opinion.

 

Some women are just cool and can be in a "just friends" situation with no strings attached. I know a few women like that.

 

I think it could go either way, but the answer is yes.

[FathomFear]

Well, let me put it this way. Many women I know who have a lot of male friends happen to be very attractive. I personally think this is because a lot of guys try to get acquainted with a woman using the "just friends" tactic. They think hopefully she will see them as something more or maybe date them if her and her current bf break up.

 

I agree that is possible, but I also think it's the case that attractive people do tend to get more people approaching them. That's true of people of either gender. Due to the increased frequency of contacts, they end up developing more relationships and more friendships. It's possible that many of the guys in your example had the original intent of something more, but instead a friendship developed instead.

 

I think sexual energy in general feeds friendships. I've always noticed, for example, that really attractive guys tend to have male friends who are also really attractive. You rarely see a really attractive person who has a best friend who's kind of ugly, for example. It's kind of weird how that manifests.

[gingerlemon]

IME, yes. I've had several platonic friendships with men, where I've felt quite confident that there's no 'hidden' physical attraction involved.

[giubilante]

Yes, I totally think that men and women can be 'just friends'. It might get more complicated if you are both single, but it is still definitely possible. I grew up with a lot of brothers, have always been almost more comfortable in male company than in female company and have had (and still have) many platonic male friendships.

 

On the other hand, I'm not really one to talk, because my 'best friend' and I are now more than just friends.

[lastcall23]

My best friend is a guy. I have many close guy friends, actually more close guy friend than girls. My reasoning is one, I get along a lot better with men then women. I can be kind of vulger and graphic and a lot of girls get grossed out by some of the things I say but guys just laugh it up with me. I've always been able to connect better with guys. Also, girls for me, have always been very nasty to me and backstabbing. Us women are way more emotional and I think too much of that can cause big problems. But all of my guy friends have only been just that, guy friend. Never more than that and it's never been a problem at all. I definitely think its possible for men and women to have a close friendship without relations with one another outside of just a platonic friendship.

 

This guy just sounds burned that his plan to be "your friend" backfired. He was trying to get you close to him so that maybe if you got to know him good enough, you would suddenly "wake up" and see that you and him would be good together but thats usually never the case. I wouldn't be too upset. He doesn't really sound like the kind of person you want to be friends with.

[april15]

It has been my experience that men and women can be friends but where my experience has led me to be careful is when that friendship gets close and there is a lot of one on one time. There are also people who are very sexual and have no problem doing the FWB thing which is fine as long as everyone involved is aware and honest. Everyone is different. Anytime someone has that chemistry, and that happens with men and women there is potential for attraction issues.

[Flyingpiglet]

I do generally find males easier to get along with; I have nearly always worked in a male orientated environment and am pretty much ‘one of the guys’ lol. I find there can be a lot of * * * * * iness with groups of women.

 

I do have several male friends but these friendships have been built while either one or the other of us was in a relationship so there has never been a question of anything but platonic friendship, this has never changed even if when/if we find ourselves both single at some point.

 

I even introduced one male friend to his now wife. People have said ‘Why didn’t you keep him for yourself’ but I didn't see him like that, though he is an attractive guy… It would feel like incest to me

 

Guess this guy was just a bad ‘friend’ choice. I’m thinking maybe he thought… She’s single, I’m single, we get along………?

 

If only things were that easy *sigh*

[FathomFear]

My best friend is a guy. I have many close guy friends, actually more close guy friend than girls. My reasoning is one, I get along a lot better with men then women. I can be kind of vulger and graphic and a lot of girls get grossed out by some of the things I say but guys just laugh it up with me. I've always been able to connect better with guys.

 

I agree, and I think this is one of the reasons that straight women and gay men tend to get along well. I'm gay and my best friend is a woman, for example, and we'll talk about all sorts of things that she says she doesn't feel comfortable talking about with her female friends out of fear of being judged or labeled as a " * * * * ". Just last week she ranted to me for about an hour because she's sexually frustrated and can't stop fantasizing about having sex with two guys at once, lol.

[RitaTrue]

Yes, I totally think that men and women can be 'just friends'. It might get more complicated if you are both single

 

It can get sticky if you're single. It can also get sticky if you're physically attracted. I think it's easier to be platonic with someone who just "isn't getting it" for you, than with someone you find physically appealing.

 

It's possible to be just friends with the opposite sex. However, I've seen more examples of one person being platonic, and the other person appearing to be platonic, with the intention of waiting for either a)the other person to change their mind, or b)for that other's person's present relationship relationship to split up, if they have one, so that they can have a chance in.

 

You never know about people. Some friends can hide their feelings very well. They like you and are attracted to you, but have you believe that they're only friends, so that you'll keep talking and hanging out.

[kessian]

NOT if she looks like Adriana Lima"!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol