Mixed up emotions, is this real

[nickir321]

Not sure whats going on with me today, 2 weeks ago my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me, dumped me for another woman, we have a 2 year old daughter together and a 9 year old from a previous relationship, for 2 weeks i have been moping about, not eating, not sleeping, crying every night, not really feeling anything about anything, putting on a brave face for the kids. This afternoon i have been thinking, before we broke up i was thinking about calling it a day with him, he changed so much when our daughter was born, he has been a very difficult person to live with, very selfish, never doing anything for me or our family, last year he cheated and i forgave him, i wanted him to love me so much but he hasn't. I wonder, why am i moping about, why am pining after him, stalking him on facebook. I loved him and have done and given him so much of myself for 7 years, kept him financially while he started his business, cooked, cleaned, bought up the kids on my own, but things were broken, i held out for so long wanting him to love me but he always thought the grass was greener on the other side. I have forgotten what i like to do, why have i been moping, should i not be out there, excited about my new life, not that this is where i thought my life would be, 32, single, 2 kids by 2 different dads, living in a council house, i wanted it all with him, marridge, happy family, a house, he has promised me this for 7 years and now has left,, with his empty promises, leaving a hole in my life that i thought he would fill, where am i, whats happening with my emotions, i feel so confused.

[nickir321]

Now, 2 hours on from posting this, i am so low again, gutted, crying, omg, will it get better, guess i wanted all the things he promised me but never gave me

[Charingx1]

It does get better, read my latest post. I felt like this, its because of being rejected. I felt exactly the same as you, like i was going to end it but when she ended it i couldnt accept it. I feel for you with your child. I have a child too. All i would say is it DOES get easier. Nothing i can say now will help, apart from this. If he chose to dump you, he thinks he can do better than you. THAT is not someone you want to be with. trust me. You will be very happy one day soon and he wont come tomind that much. In fact you will wonder why you ever thought you were that happy.

 

Chin up

[JerkBrokeMe]

I know having kids involved makes things that much more difficult, so I can't relate in that aspect. Nor can I relate to the infidelity. What I can relate to is a long term relationship ending so suddenly and not feeling like you're ever going to be ok. I was with my ex (never having a breakup) for over 9 years. We've been broken up for about 7 months now. It's absolutely the worst experience I've ever been through.

 

Like you I couldn't eat. I didn't sleep. I just cried so hard I was throwing up. To be honest, I still have days where I can't get out of bed. But they're getting fewer in between. I still cry almost everyday but it's not normally the hysterics that I was in for a good 5 months.

 

Maybe in another 7 months I won't cry but on the rarest of occassions. My healing rate seems to be much slower than many others on here. I personally believe its because most on here aren't dealing with a relationship that lasted so long.

 

I guess my point is I know its hard and each day feels like forever, but you will get through it. Even if its at a slow pace like myself. However, I think for you, since your ex sounded like a not so nice guy, you'll come to terms with this quickly. You'll realize you're not really missing the person, but what he had promised you and the life you imagined you would have with him. Use this as a learning experience to surround yourself with people worthy of your company.

[Gerda]

It does get better. And just because we know it's "for the best" it doesn't make it stop hurting. I can tell you all day and night that I know I shouldn't be with my ex, I honestly don't really want to hear from him anymore, and if he begged I'd still not get back with him--yet I still miss him and it breaks my heart to think of him with his new girlfriend. Unfortunately emotions can't be switched on or off based on logic.

 

The first two months of my most recent and horrific breakup were THE WORST. It took a long time for things to get better, but they really did. I am happier now than I ever was the entire time he and I were together--by a wide margin. You'll get there, too.