Anyone resorted to meds to help with loneliness/depression after break-up?

[indesign]

I have been on meds for 3 years for my bipolar disorder and 2 years before that for depression. This all happened after a break-up with someone that I was madly in love with and dated for 7 years.

 

I believe that maybe these disorders where caused by my break-up with the major emotional distress that I was feeling and maybe I can be cured now that I have worked through and reflected back on a lot of the pain.

 

My doctor says otherwise. She says that I have to be on the medication for the rest of my life. It kills me to think this is true and makes me feel hopeless and devastated. I have been struggling with this idea for the past 3 years.

 

These medications severely alter your brain chemistry and your playing with fire. That is one reason why I would advise against it because more times than none it is hard coming off of them. For me they were essential and they saved my life. You yourself have to decide what is best for you.

[LaKings55]

Healthcare is so sketchy nowadays, I don't care where you are or what "system" you fall under. Most of the "western" world just seems to be of the mindset of "here's your drugs!" feels like we're back to the days of snake-oil and tonics for whatever ails ya. I avoid drugs like the plague personally. I take a daily multi-vitamin (probably shouldn't since I have a pretty balanced diet) and I only take Zinc when I feel I'm coming down with something. Once, I had strep throat and was forced to take a set of antibiotics, but that was the only time in my life I was prescribed anything. I'm actually glad for my parents who didn't want to abuse free-healthcare in the military, so unlike many other parents, didn't rush my siblings and I to the hospital over the "sniffles." Used to just get some cough syrup or tea with honey. So, my siblings and I, who are now all 21+ have incredibly thin medical files, and we've only had drugs for infections. Certainly not for anything related to mental conditions.

[LaKings55]

Plus, I've seen the power drugs can hold over someone. One of my exes was basically addicted to Xanax, and would tell her therapist anything to keep the pills coming. It reached a point where she needed them just to go shopping or set foot outside the house, or even interact with her family, friends, or myself. I know it sounds harsh, but whatever happened to coping? There are legitimate disorders out there, and a lot of people need help, but doesn't anyone see that drugs are making us dependent, unpredictable creatures? I can't help but think humans are losing their ability to just deal with life.

[indesign]

Plus, I've seen the power drugs can hold over someone. One of my exes was basically addicted to Xanax, and would tell her therapist anything to keep the pills coming. It reached a point where she needed them just to go shopping or set foot outside the house, or even interact with her family, friends, or myself. I know it sounds harsh, but whatever happened to coping? There are legitimate disorders out there, and a lot of people need help, but doesn't anyone see that drugs are making us dependent, unpredictable creatures? I can't help but think humans are losing their ability to just deal with life.

 

Honestly I feel like I am in 1984 or Brave New World. I feel like I am constantly against the medications in my mind, and I keep asking her if I can stop taking them, but at this point my doctor will not let me get off of them.

[beacon]

Disappointed, I'm deeply sorry for your situation. I hope you are starting to find what you need now and thank you for the response, as it is very helpful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These are main reasons that I don't want to do it and I've initiated the process to start counseling sessions. I'm going to go to a professional and talk about all of my insecurities and anger and pain and hopefully joy and pride and just life. I've made a realization that I'm not entirely happy with myself and this is a problem. I also have infrequent (but still too many) issues with displacing emotions. The GP prescribed me xanax, celexa and ambien when I told her about my anxiety and situation (I also have financial issues). I have taken a bit of xanax for my anxiety lately, today being one of the days, but I took half of the smallest dose that is prescribed. I'm hoping for at least a little clarity with the counseling. I definitely don't want to add problems to my life at the moment and that's what it appears could happen with the drug scenario...

[lemsip]

CBT is helping me immensely, look into that.

 

I'm realising now that the problems / needy behaviours I was exhibiting towards the end of my relationship have roots deeply imbedded in my childhood.

 

It has probably been advised as well, but go on Amazon and pick up a copy of "The Journey from abandonment to healing" by Susan Anderson. I cannot stress this enough. Buy it.

 

If nothing else, you will realise that the feelings you are experiencing are as much physical as they are pyschological.

 

Keep posting. At first I felt weird being on ENA but now I'm glad I found it. I would never have truly explored and embraced my breakup if it wasn't for this site. Many of my friends who have went through breakups have simply brushed their problems under the carpet.

 

By taking the time to really look at myself and what I want - along with the invaluable help of others on here - I know I will be OK.

 

You will be too.

[lemsip]

I'll quickly quote something from that book I advised you to buy. You'll relate to it...

 

"In the initial stages you are in shock, pain and panic, suddenly bereft of life's worth and meaning. You try to keep the shreds of yourself together, but in spite of all your efforts, your faith and trust have been shattered. The severing of this important emotional bond makes you feel (temporarily) that you can't live without your lost love. Suicidal feelings are normal to this period. They are caused by despair that is overwhelming but is only temporary. Old feelings of helplessness and dependency intrude into your current emotional crisis."

 

Sound familiar?

 

I swear to god, that book should be given out to you free on birth. Or at least made a sticky on here.

[LaKings55]

Yep, great book, just finished it myself. I consider myself a pretty masculine guy too, as far as pushing away uncomfortable or "pansy" feelings, but I knew that to come to grips with myself and be a more mature individual, I needed some help. Susan Anderson's book has helped me realize that I can't just "lift above" my feelings and pretend like they're not there. So, any men who feel uncomfortable attempting to rationalize your feelings, or you feel ashamed for feeling the way you do, realize that A. you're not alone, B. you can't change the human mind, and it's going to feel things no matter how far down you push your emotions, and C. It's ok to work through them. D. In the end, you'll actually feel stronger, and possibly even more "masculine" as you realize now nothing can stop you

[beacon]

Lemsip, thank you for the words and the recommendations. I just sent a message to a local CBT center.

 

And thank both of you for the book recommendation. I will probably try a book store tomorrow and if I can't find it, I'll order it.

 

I know what you mean about considering yourself masculine, LaKings. I've played various sports throughout my life. I'm in the gym a lot now... I'm in my 30's and still skateboard fairly avidly and snowboard as much as possible. I'm not afraid to show my feelings but I've been pushing away issues deep within that need to be addressed. This is where I am in my life.

 

Thanks again to you good people...

[LaKings55]

good for you beacon. Check out link removed, I found the book on there for a few bucks, not in the best condition, but still.