Anyone resorted to meds to help with loneliness/depression after break-up?

[beacon]

I just want to get some kind of idea here. I have a couple of other things going on in my life that are giving me anxiety as well, but I'm making strides with those. What plagues my brain is my ex and I know my lack of focus at work and apathy regarding things I usually love are probably a culmination of all these things, but I frequently cannot focus on the tasks at hand. My ex is in my head all the time and I cannot find a positive approach to life like I've always had, even in worse situations. We were together for two years and have been broken up a little over two months. We didn't see each other for about a month and a half and two weeks ago we had lunch... it was like starting all over. I know we can't be together right now but I can't let go for good. I feel sluggish and apathetic about everything except wanting to make us work and that seems childish to me, but it is what it is. I really want my zeal for life back, but it seems to be nowhere in sight... I also feel so much regret...

[beacon]

I want to be clear. I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is outright depression. I just want to be able to focus on the moment while I'm in it. I feel as if my lack of focus is not passing and I need to get it back. I just can't get her out of my mind.

[ch280432]

I'm kind of in the exact situation.... I dated someone for 5 years and we broke up for good in February. Since then I've seen him every now and then for "catching up" ..... I had to stop meeting up with him because I felt like I was starting over the whole "getting over him" each time I saw him. I have used depression medication before to get over him when we had a break up in the middle of the 5 years. I am thinking of going back on it again just because I need to focus on school and this last year of school for me is crucial.

[Danny77]

You are going through aggravated depression, it is to be expected after big changes in your life.

Meds are an option but are not without side effects.

Deeper depression for a month or two, weight gain, suicidal feelings, ect ect.

 

I feel that in the time it takes these meds to work you will naturally feel better anyway.

 

I would avoid meds.

[shuttlefish]

You may have situation depression, not clinical. Be careful with meds, they do not always produce the results we desire or expect. My sympathies on the break up, they can be rough and feel disruptive to our lives. Have faith, you will get through this and perhaps find new love.

You are new on here, check out some of the break up threads for advice, there is some good stuff here.

[lemsip]

I agree with Danny and Shuttlefish. You know the cause of your unhappiness: it's circumstantial, not clinical. I toyed with the idea of going to the doctor too but felt I need to face my feelings, as horrible as they are. If you can avoid meds, do so.

 

Remember though that this is an issue that should be discussed with your doctor, not just a message board. Have a chat with your doctor too.

[Saures]

I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but I think I have it, I do blame boys and relationships, and I think thats what caused it and I had a lot of stress put on me by my parents because of school as well, but I have only been to see a GP once, I'm still completely unsure what the best way to deal with it is.

 

I think for everyone, depression is different, and we all act at it differently than others, so I'm guessing different people need different types of "medication" as it were...

[beacon]

First, thank you for the responses. It's so helpful to get insight from people that are experiencing similar situations and having similar thoughts.

 

I have actually been to my GP and she prescribed medicine for me weeks ago. I haven't gotten the medication but I almost did yesterday. It was such a crazy moment. I was in the store and kept finding ways to avoid going to the pharmacy and getting it. I just feel that I am strong enough to handle this (despite my bottom-out weakness at times) and tbh, I think adding a SSRI to the equation could make things worse down the road. I know these help people, but to me it seems that taking these is running from what you need to confront. Am I suppose to do that forever? No, I know I need to put this behind me but it is not happening nearly as quickly as I want it to happen... and I truly loved her and miss her immensely.

[lemsip]

** Again, I don't really like giving advice on medicinal issues ** but I'd say this...

 

Your depression will not kill you unless you are completely suicidal. Yes it feels horrible but it will not kill you.

 

If you are so adverse to the meds see if you can make it to next week without them. Then after that, see if you can make it to the week after that. You know they are there if you need them, so the pressure's off.

 

I'd take it a day at time and see if you can get by. These feelings exist for a reason. They must do. So it's best not to surpress them.

[Fadedlife]

i was in a 5 year relationship with child.

 

Hit me hard, very hard in deed.

 

Very close to it if you know what i mean but knew in my heart i had to stay alive.

 

Thought meds would help, tried them on and off over 18months but got to say i felt worse on them.

 

I was numb already and didnt need numbing anymore, took me a while to realise as i wanted anything to take the pain and anxiety away.

The pain i could cry away, the anxiety was a dark dark experience.

 

Just percevere with it knowing its just part of the process, if you feel right on the edge then maybe you should be speaking to someone already about your fears and maybe try meds suited to yourself and see how you go. Some people benefit from them, others i guess just dont know what they want and are willing to try anything.

 

For my personal situation i wouldnt of recommended them to myself and glad i didnt continue them.

 

Anxiety is part and parcel of the break up when theres few answers, you'll get through it, all of you will.

 

I got through some real bad times, im none the wiser haha but i got through it with time

[In the Dark]

he medication can help temporarily to numb you while you are at a severe low due to the constant thinking and memories which can put you in such a place.

I was prescribed anti-depressants and it helped me not dwell during my lowest point which allowed me to carry on with life.

Once I came off it I was well enough to carry on with life again.

[LaKings55]

I've been grappling with depression since my break-up earlier this year. Of course, it wasn't just the break-up. It was losing my full-time job, moving out of my apartment, taking back my part-time job I had in college, though I'm thankful my old employer was sympathetic to my circumstances. It comes and goes in waves, and it just feels like this shapeless weight inside that's always there. It hasn't affected my appetite or sleep too much, especially in the last few months. I still feel it though. Unfortunately, as I pursue certain careers, medication or therapy are just impossible, as they'd be red flags in my medical history for mental instability. I know that sounds harsh, but that is just how government entities view it, especially when you're potentially being placed in stressful life/death situations. Plus, with this economy, the military and other entities like police departments are being far more scrutinizing. I've met more than a couple people that were DQ'd recently from joining the military due to prescribed anti-depressant use, even years back. They don't care if it was for the death of a family member or just general depression, it shows a lack of ability to cope in their eyes. So, I've turned to physical exercise, meditation and forcing myself to stay motivated and positive to help. Still, there are days I just feel completely hopeless. Despite knowing full-well that these feelings are normal, I can't help but feel ashamed at times. I've also found myself having suicidal thoughts at times, which only makes me feel more shameful.

[thejigsup]

I think your exes would get their jollies knowing the negative impact their leaving made. Don't stroke their egos. Get out there, live, and have fun! They did not and do not want you. Why would you even worry about someone like that?

[LaKings55]

I think your exes would get their jollies knowing the negative impact their leaving made. Don't stroke their egos. Get out there, live, and have fun! They did not and do not want you. Why would you even worry about someone like that?

 

That's why I make it a point to not let hardly anyone know what's going on in my life. It was awesome that my ex's sister saw me out with another girl, following the break-up. I'm sure the rumor mill started up after that one, lol. But I'll be out of the state soon enough (good riddance, Cali!) and then they'll all wonder "what happened to him" They'll never hear from me, or see me again.

[beacon]

There are so many different angles when taking this into consideration...

 

In the dark - so did you have any issues with side effects or withdrawals? Do you mind if I ask what you were taking?

 

LaKings - I have also thought of the job discrimination scenarios. What's crazy is I'm in good shape and I exercise. I still go to the gym and I'm usually also active outside the gym though recently I have slacked off due to lethargy and apathy. My mind races so much during the day that I just get super tired and I can't get it to stop. And yes, I have had many terrible thoughts just as you...

 

I picked up a moonlighting job after the break-up so I'm working two jobs which should mean I haven't totally given up, yeah? But it still feels like I have inside. My ex and I used to have so much fun together and I just stopped having fun. I haven't had the desire to do things I enjoy.

[beacon]

I think your exes would get their jollies knowing the negative impact their leaving made. Don't stroke their egos. Get out there, live, and have fun! They did not and do not want you. Why would you even worry about someone like that?

 

This is so true. Thank you, jig... and tbh, in the past this was always my approach which is why this time it really baffles me why I am doing this. I feel like I'm pitying myself but I SO DON'T WANT TO DO THAT! I have to make this world my playground again, I know that. I've always been a resilient person and I don't see any reason why I should stop. Somebody should smack me.

[LaKings55]

 

LaKings - I have also thought of the job discrimination scenarios. What's crazy is I'm in good shape and I exercise. I still go to the gym and I'm usually also active outside the gym though recently I have slacked off due to lethargy and apathy. My mind races so much during the day that I just get super tired and I can't get it to stop. And yes, I have had many terrible thoughts just as you...

 

That's why I'm glad I found these forums. I actually think they might have helped my relationship, since I would've had a place to turn to, but hindsight is always 20/20. Still, though I would never wish this pain on anyone else, I do find some level of solace in communicating with others in similar circumstance. I suppose that knowledge that we're "not alone," fulfills basic, primal needs.

[shuttlefish]

My mind races so much during the day that I just get super tired and I can't get it to stop. y.

 

Have you looked into meditation? It doesn't have to be meditation connected with any one religion, but more just sitting quietly and focusing on nothing - it's a skill. Perhaps there is a group in your neighbourhood. I've found that it can help with calming down a racing mind (I know EXACTLY what you mean by this)

[Gerda]

I started taking anti-depressants the day after my most recent breakup. The timing was coincidental. They did not help me in the LEAST coping with the breakup, in fact they made it way worse. Perhaps it was the specific med--it was Wellbutrin, not an SSRI. It took me 2 weeks to figure out that it wasn't just the breakup that was killing me (figuratively speaking), it was also the meds. We had to change the dosage and the problem has been completely fixed. But again--I don't think it has helped at all with the healing, so don't get your hopes up.

[Fadedlife]

I suppose that knowledge that we're "not alone," fulfills basic, primal needs.

 

That is such a significent line if you dont mind me saying.

 

very thought provoking whilst seemingly a completley honest piece of wording.

[Zuri]

Hi. So many different opinions and experiences on this one. I have been through two divorces and didn't feel a need for meds. However, my most recent breakup (after almost five years) hit my very hard. I could not stop crying, experienced anxiety attacks for the first time ever, could not sleep, and could not do anything. Two close friends persuaded me to see my doctor. She put me on celexa and gave me xanax for sleep. The xanax KIND OF helped but only when I combined it with an otc sleep aid (the otc aid alone did nada).

I think it's helping me a lot.

 

I also started exercising like a mad woman.

 

I feel better and haven't been in such great physical shape in years or maybe ever!

 

Good luck.

[LaKings55]

That is such a significent line if you dont mind me saying.

 

very thought provoking whilst seemingly a completley honest piece of wording.

 

Well, humans are, by nature, a social animal. No one wants to feel rejected, discarded, abandoned. It's why babies cry when their mothers leaves the room (they instinctively worry the mother will not come back) It's why guys get fearful of asking a girl out, but many still find the courage to do so (the need for companionship and mating often outweighs one's insecurities) These are feelings and needs very few humans have the ability to control.

[dissapointed75]

Hi,

I'm sorry for your loss and the loneliness and feeling of a happy future being lost for the moment. I personally realised I was depressed about five months after the break up of my serious and long relationship. I had been training at the gym hard and socialising as much as i could but in the end it didn't fill the void of the woman I loved.

 

I began to decline after Christmas this year, and the usual grey weather we get in Britain in Feb, March added to me finally giving in and spending weeks in bed.

 

Been on anti depressants since then and firmly believe they are less effective than what I was doing before Christmas where I was getting myself out, training and getting to work.

 

The depression took all my motivation, I couldn't concentrate at work. Due to the nature of my work I was fired. It's under appeal, but this devastated me.

 

My family and friends believe the anti depressants didn't help me. Remember though, everyone is different, and I am in fact still on them.

 

I am the last person anyone thought would end up like this, but I could bear the loss of someone I loved and lived with so long. My God life was grim and empty without her and bloody unnatural and strange.

 

Talk to your GP (Doc) don't let him pressure you but heed the docs advice.

 

Best wishes

[LaKings55]

Just be aware that many doctors get kickbacks for prescribing specific drugs, don't let them pressure you into medications if you sincerely feel you don't need them

[In the Dark]

Just be aware that many doctors get kickbacks for prescribing specific drugs, don't let them pressure you into medications if you sincerely feel you don't need them

 

Sometimes I wonder this about my doctor.

He kept on giving me these stupid large tubs of crap which did not work.

He even knew one of them causes me to get worse but he suggested using it again even though he previously admitted the stuff he gave me in known to make my condition worse.

He only decides it's time for me to see someone else when I am in a severe state.

I'm sure he has problems of his own because I don't recall him being this way when I first had him as a doctor.