Suddenly terrified to text my ex?

[ella44224]

I posted my break up story about a month ago and everyone advised me to give him space...We've been broken up about a month and a half now and there's been no contact for about 4 weeks. The first few weeks we were broken up I texted him a few times, he answered but was distant and wouldn't talk much about things. I've been miserable throughout everything (as I've posted here about a few time) The last two weeks have been almost unbearable and I've wanted to get back in touch with him so bad. I was planning to break no contact (against everyone's advice and my better judgment) for the past two days. I told my self Tuesday night I would text him then and that made me feel nervous but relived. But here's the weird part both tonight and last night I had the text all written out ready to go and when it came time to send it I couldn't do it....I was too scared, actually terrified. Why is that? All I want to do is talk to him, in fact I think about it all the time but suddenly when it comes down to doing it I can't out of fear. Is this a weird sign of healing?

[DieTeufelKatze]

Perhaps you're scared he won't respond or will not give you the response you desire?

 

I would recommend you not do it... no matter what happens it won't help you in the long run, and will likely set back your healing.

 

Also, you might just be confusing feeling "scared" to text him with the general anxiety caused by contacting your ex. Seriously, you will be better off if you just don't send the texts.

[lapse]

Could it be your inner wisdom sending you a big, clear message? If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. (I wish I'd heeded that so many times in my life. In so many different contexts. aaaah) Trust what your body is telling you.

 

Isn't it funny? Do you remember those first few days of NC when you had to threaten your own hand with a cleaver if it reached for the phone? Relish this moment here now.

[wpu43]

Thats happened to me as well, and i am kind of going through that right now. It is a strange and awkward thing to happen. I would have the text all written out and then delete it right before i hit send. I agree with everybody tho, sending the text could lead to some bad feelings (them not responding, or hearing things you didn't want to hear). Stay NC, only good things can come out of NC even if you don't feel like that now. Stay Strong and don't give in!

[Mellie]

Wow. You have an internal braking system between tapping out the message and hitting send. Do you realise how jealous many of us are of you now? There have been numerous occasions I've sent texts and regretted it. I can say, with hand on heart, there hasn't been one occasion I've regretted not texting.

 

It's only a month so it's not surprising you're tempted to reach out. But the fact that there's something stopping you - yeah, I'd listen to that nagging doubt. And yes, I think it is a sign of healing. If you keep sticking your hand in the fire, and keep getting burnt, eventually you'll stop doing it.

[ForumGuy]

Most likely a fear of rejection, which is both understandable and normal.