Oasiswater Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I've been doing well since my last post here. Really great, actually. I've finally gotten to the point where I can see things that remind me of my ex, and feel somewhat happy inside knowing that those things will make her happy. I didn't think about who she was with or who she was sleeping with, because I started to care less and less about it. I was feeling happy about her and I until she broke NC last night. I was laying in bed having a really hard time falling asleep and I just decided to check my gmail. (I filtered all of her emails to go straight to the trash)... For some weird reason last night I decided to check the trash, and little did I know, she sent me an email less than 20 minutes before that. It said something along the lines of: "we can't be together but i'll never stop loving you" Suddenly I was filled with anger, and feelings of betrayal and disrespect. I have no problem separating our lives (her decision), but when she crosses the boundaries and contacts me for absolutely no reason, I don't appreciate it. Part of me knows that all she wants is for me to reply saying "I'll always love you too." Just so that she can feel better about herself. Just so she can feel like she's not alone in the world. Despite the fact that she has upped and left me alone twice, to fulfill her own selfish desires. I think about replying to her, and how it will most likely lead to a third reconciliation, but then I remember the fact that she got matching tattoos with the man she left me for. If I ever saw her again, I'd be greeted with a permanent symbol of their relationship, and that makes me sick. I loved her more than anything in the world, and was ready to spend the rest of my life with her at the drop of a hat... and this is she kind of respect she shows me, after breaking my heart twice and replacing me twice. My rant ends here. Link to comment
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