A little drink to calm the nerves....

[Coconut Twin]

They're kicking in already..butterflies, nerves. I'm excited and nervous as I have a date tomorrow evening and I really like the guy. Normally I'm more relaxed when dating.someone I am not that into but when it is someone who blows your mind, I start wondering about his expectations..

 

Has anyone ever drank a little before a date just to feel a little bubbly and basically not a nervous wreck?

 

I'm thinking about it, obviously not drink too much.

 

Another thing which adds to my nerves - this guy is ultra confident, your typical alpha male, not full of himself but he has heaps of.charisma and and self assurance.

I'm afraid he might out shine me and I won't have a chance to glow

 

I want to feel and look great tomorrow.

 

I need some encouraging words of advice please.

 

Thanks

[Bunney]

haha it's almost a little stupid but I've actually done that before certain dates and I don't really see anything wrong with it. ofc you should never show up on a date tipsy/drunk but a glass of wine or two can make it all go soo much more smoothly haha

[Vincent Ruiz]

Absolutely not. It won't help you, you might get a little courage in the beginning but if you don't drink a lot then it will wear off before you know it, if you drink too much then you would be a mess and not attractive to him. If you drank too much and he could tell then he would probably get turned off. Stay away from the booze if you really like this guy!! Alcohol is a poor way to deal with your nerves.

 

My advice to you is don't talk yourself down at all tomorrow! Don't think about what could happen on the date tomorrow because you are only going to make yourself nervous about it and your nerves will build up and by the time the date starts you'll be a mess. Anytime you try and think about an outcome(usually they are the worst possible out comes if we are nervous when thinking) from the date, stop yourself from thinking it and instead talk yourself up and say that you are awesome and the date will rock and don't think about it again. Keep doing that if your nervous start to build and you think about the date. Now you'll probably be nervous throughout the day so I would suggest two things to do to calm your nerves. First anytime you start to feel nervous take a deep breath and let the breath out through your stomach. It's been proven that this calms your nervous(avoid caffeine before the date because caffeine will make you way more nervous since it goes to the nervous system). The second is, do cool things throughout the day and keep reminding yourself through past accomplisments and just saying in general how awesome you are. Sing out loud to a song on blast, hang out with people who make you feel good etc.

 

 

The whole point of that is to get you into a great emotional state and letting go of the outcome and attending to the present and not the future. You can't control if he will like you but you can control how you act. Remember that. Quit worrying about things you can't control and focus on the stuff you can control, especially the stuff you're good at. The importance of talking yourself up is that it is the opposite and has the same results as talking yourself down. If you say the date will suck, he won't like me, I'm not funny etc then all of that is going to happen because you already talked yourself into believing it. If you do the exact opposite and say I'm awesome!, I've done *insert awesome thing here* and rocked!, people believe in me like *insert real people you know here*, I'm so funny then by the time the date starts you will believe in it.

 

 

Remember too that it is perfectly normal to feel that anxiety right before the date. This is the most crucial part of the whole day because your nerves will be building up. You need to reinforce everything I told you and take deep breaths right before the date. A terrible outcome will start popping in your mind before the date, remember to realize you are thinking it and wipe it from your mind and start again talking yourself up.

 

 

Just have fun tomorrow and be in the moment. It's cliche but it's true. While you're on the date, don't think about what he thinks about you, just focus on what you're doing and what you can control. Just have fun tomorrow before, during and after the date! Don't drink! And work hard at what I said because it will be difficult to disicipline your mind but you can do it because I use to be a nervous wreck too and I figured out how to be in the moment and how to ignore my anxiety. You can do it too, I know you can. Have fun and good luck.

[Vincent Ruiz]

but when it is someone who blows your mind, I start wondering about his expectations..

 

 

 

 

 

Another thing which adds to my nerves - this guy is ultra confident, your typical alpha male, not full of himself but he has heaps of.charisma and and self assurance.

I'm afraid he might out shine me and I won't have a chance to glow

 

 

Also, all of that kind of thinking needs to stop right now. You will shine tomorrow and you'll both feed off each other. Stop thinking about what his expectations are and start thinking of how awesome you are and how you absolutely will shine tomorrow.

 

That kind of thinking is going to ruin your date tomorrow. Remember to stop yourself when those thoughts pop up in your mind.

[Coconut Twin]

Also, all of that kind of thinking needs to stop right now. You will shine tomorrow and you'll both feed off each other. Stop thinking about what his expectations are and start thinking of how awesome you are and how you absolutely will shine tomorrow.

 

That kind of thinking is going to ruin your date tomorrow. Remember to stop yourself when those thoughts pop up in your mind.

 

 

Thank You so much for your feedback! I am smiling now It's so easy for your mind to become clouded with irrational thoughts especially before a date, so you've reminded me of two crucial things, that tends to go out the window when I'm anxious - to go with the flow and live in the moment and to believe in who I am!

 

So thank you, I really appreciated that, great pick me up, just what I needed!

 

I'm going to have fun no matter what the outcome!

[Vincent Ruiz]

I hope you come back and tell us how it went!!