DrB912 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Hey. This is my first time trying to find help on a forum, especially about relationship advice, but I figured I would give it a try. To start off, I should explain a bit about my relationship. I am 21, she is 19. We have been together a month now. We hit it off pretty quick. We would speak to one another constantly (try over a thousand text messages within a week). Our first date was about as normal as it gets I suppose. I picked her up, met her family, took her to dinner, we watched a movie, we made out... And this is where we made a mistake I guess, we ended up having sex. I never wanted to rush things like I did with her, but after 2 hours of us teasing each other and almost kissing, but never actually kissing, and just gentle touching and holding, by the time the movie was over, we could not get off of each other. She ended up telling me the next day that she was a virgin and had planned on staying that way until she was engaged/married, but she was at least glad it was me because I was so sweet to her and that we would be together for a while. We continued having sex after each date for the next week or so until one night when she had a question she wanted to ask me, only she wouldn't say it because she felt it was too personal. Here is where I made the mistake of pushing her to ask me because I am the type that feels being open and not lying is healthy. She finally asked me... and it was "How many girls have I slept with before her?" Well, my answer was 6, she was my 7th... I felt horrible because I know that's no where near what she wanted to hear. Ever since then, she has distanced herself from me and has admitted that she's disgusted by it, and by the fact that she even had sex with me. She told me she was mad at herself for doing it. She avoids me sometimes now, but we are still dating and still see each other. We also had a pregnancy scare, which added to the traumatic experience for her. Now, don't get me wrong. I've already told her if no sex will help her, then I will wait because I honestly feel like I love her, but I can't help but feel like something is wrong. I want to be able to fix this. I offered for us to go to counselling or something, but she won't do it. She won't talk about her personal life to anyone, especially someone she doesn't know. I just don't know how to make her comfortable again. It doesn't feel normal to go from having great sex on a normal basis, to nothing at all. How can I reassure her that it is okay to have sex? I even stopped talking to any of my exes that I was still in communication with for her (I try to stay friends when it's possible). I was tested for STD's by her request (I am clean). I try to abide by her dislike for pda as much as possible. I could just really use some good advice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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