Jump to content

NEED ADVICE FAST Don't know what to do about ex-boyfriend :(

Recommended Posts

I liked this boy since I was like, ten years old, but never really thought I had a chance with him so he was always in the back of my mind. Then, after starring in my schools musical together we started dating, but since he was leaving for half the summer then moving two hours away for university we never really planned for our relationship to last past the summer. He is 18 and I am 16, and before you start to judge, we are both smart people and I am very mature for my age. We have also known each other since we were young because I used to be close friends with his sister. My parents also liked him very much.


At the beginning of our relationship we both agreed we didn't want anyone to get emotionally attached in any way since he was leaving. We dated for three more months and everything went perfectly. We never fought and always had a great time together. He brought me to his families cabin in the middle of no where after my final exam and we had a picnic. We were always doing things like this.


Then, a day after we had a great time at the beach together, he had downloaded my fav movie for us to watch, even though he hated it and we were reviewing pictures from his graduation that had been a couple days before. Then at the end of the movie he told me that since he was leaving soon for a month, then moving away so he didn't think it would make sense for us to continue seeing each other. He thought him being away for five weeks would be a good way for us to pull apart from each other. I was both expecting it and I wasn't. I sucked my emotions up and awkwardly tried to avoid most contact and attempts at a kiss while he was dropping me off, and then let it all out as soon as I got home.


A few weeks before one of his best friends had sat first my ex down and then afterwords me to have a serious talk about our relationship, which he thought should last. His friend told me things my ex had said about me. Thing like how I was only his second serious girlfriend and how he always talks very highly of me like how I play video games with him and no other girl would do that. His friend expressed to me that he didn't think my ex would want to break things off at the end of the summer.


That night, I got a facebook message from my ex saying how he hoped I wasn't masking my emotions when he had talked (which I was) and explained to me how much he still liked me and hoped we could hang out when he got back. Later that night, after much drinking I texted him (stupid move) and basically explained how I didn't want him to think I would be just waiting for him to get back so thing could pick up again, and then end again a month later when he moved (which I actually did) and how I didn't want us hanging out to actually just be us hooking up. He said he understood me and agreed that wouldn't be a good idea. Then asked we talk about thing another time after we both had time to think.


A few days later I saw him at the beach. Later that night he called me while I was with my friends hoping to talk to me, which I agreed to. We walked together to his house, which was all down country roads so we were mostly alone. He said he didn't want me to be mad at him, but he thought I was by the way I texted him the night I was drunk. I told him I wasn't. Eventually, he pulled me into his arms and expressed again how much he cared about me and liked me. I felt very put on the spot and felt like he wanted me to beg him for us to stay together. He kept asking for me to tell him what I was thinking, but I was feeling very put on the spot and I didn't want to express myself like that because we had planned we wouldn't continue seeing each other. I told him I did want us to continue to see each other, but I didn't think it was fair of me to ask that, since we had planned to break up. That night he also said to me how he wished I was older, and then things would be a lot easier, since he is 18 and I am 16. We spent the rest of the evening cuddling together until around 2am.


He left two days later for a five week second language program. The first two weeks he was gone I spent crying in my bed.


When he got back we made plans to see each other and watch a movie. During the movie things were a little awkward and then he turned to me and said he had thought a lot about us while he was away and didn't think us getting back together would be smart since he was two hours away. I didn't agree, but I didn't mention that and told him I wasn't expecting us to get back together. Then, while watching the movie he started touching my hips and waste with his hands and slightly putting his arm around me. I didn't know how to take this so I pretty much ignored it. Then, after he had made me laugh about something and I was replying to what he had said, he just kissed me. Then we made out and had sex, which was not a new thing in our relationship.


A few days later, having just seen him again, my feeling had come back about the break up and I facebook messaged him asking if he really thought it wouldn't be smart for us to be together, or if he just didn't want to be with me. He said he didn't really have "relationship feelings" at the moment, so he didn't think that would be fair to me if we were to get back together. He said being away for five weeks really pushed him to move on.


Then almost a week later, he sent me a facebook message, which I didnt respond to until morning, and by that time he didn't really seem interested in talking to me.


So this is my problem. I still have feelings for me, and everyday I think back to the walk I took with him wishing I had said SOMETHING more then I did. I feel like he still may have feelings for me, but I don't know, and he is moving two hours away in a week so if I do something, if i do anything at all, it has to be fast. I really just want some advice as to what I should be doing, or how I can maybe talk to him and show him we could work while he is away. We both have cars, and two hours really isn't that far. He really is the perfect boy for me. Please give me advice





Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I think hes really confused to be honest and the fact that as soon as you had sex he turned weird is a red flag (although you said you had done this before). Even though your mature your still very young. I think he may have a slight issue with this as he has mentioned it the night you were at his house. I think hes trying to do the right thing but doesnt know what to do for the best. If a guy told me he didnt have romantic feeling for me I'd suck it up to experience and move on. If he cared he'd pursue you more and make it so you didnt lose contact etc.


I know its hard but my advice would be to let go. I mean could you handle a long distance relationship (because thats what it would be). Your young you will find someone else. Leave the ball in his court. If it is hard for you to do then before he leaves go to him tell him everything your feeling then leave the ball in his court. At least then if nothing comes out of it you can say you tried. x

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...