waterlili Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I am single and not looking. I am not going to lie or act like i dont like guys going after me or head over heels for me, I enjoy those very much. I am at the point where i can get whatever i want as long as i mention my wish to them and ask nicely. Although i don't accept their invitation on "dates" or "outings" all the time, they never give up on asking me out. No matter how many times i remind them that im not in for any close relationships, they still appear with anything i want. Now, it's not that i am using them or want to fool around with them. My life is quite stable in terms of work, friends and family and fun. I can live without men. But seems like this whatever 'obsession' of mine is beginning to be obvious to my close friends and family. I dont know what obsession this is... Guys' constant comings are like my drug...And they seem to be willing to get 'hurt' from me. I am not looking for a relationship. Actually, one of the guys i am dating is giving me a hard time (but he gives one of the best times) to pull myself out of this as im very sure im not interested in a relationship. He calls me a succubus, which i dont mind being labeled as one. But i tend to wonder if it is bad.... I know it IS bad to fool around with hearts, and really i have no intention of sucking anybody's soul or something like that. I do disappear myself, like lying to them that im not free when they ask of me. Or pop myself a pill to go to sleep so that i get rest from replying their texts and messages. Sometimes i am afraid....Either afraid they are stupid to want to get to know a girl like me n they get hurt. or afraid of guys who can put on a mask like them pretending to give their all to women. Complicated, you can shake me all you want and ask me what do i really want, and i still cant really tell. All i could answer is I want NO CLOSE RELATIONSHIP with anyone. Do i have to kill this whatever obsession i have? Or shall i just continue whatever im doing and enjoy the ride? Link to comment
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