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Thoroughly confused -- could really use some feedback!


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On paper, I think I'm a really good catch. Unfortunately, my experiences with women seem to indicate otherwise. I am almost always rejected when I ask a girl out. There have been two exceptions, and those have both turned into serious relationships.


I've been told I'm attractive, and that I should be able to date almost any girl I want -- but something about me just doesn't interest your typical woman.


But, here's the monkey wrench in all this: I've been asked out by some really desirable women. One was a model -- the most popular girl in our dance class. Tons of guys were after her, yet she ended up asking me out (three times before I finally said yes). By date three, she invited me to her place to watch a movie, and she cooked dinner for me. Here's where my friends say I went wrong -- they say she was probably expecting something. I, being inexperienced, oblivious, and preferring to take things slow, didn't even try to kiss her yet. After that, we were still friends, but she stopped dating me.


Another time, I was at an amusement park with a friend, where we happened to meet three beautiful, successful European women vacationing here in the States. We started talking, and before the day was over, they invited me to join them on their vacation. Though I can be dumb at times, there's no doubt they were serious. They even shut the door on my friend, saying they only had room for one of us. After I said no due to work obligations, they asked me again, but they still didn't invite my friend.


I have several other stories of really high-class, popular women asking me out, taking me back to their place, etc. But yet, I cannot seem to get a date if I'm looking for one.


Any ideas why? I'm obviously doing something wrong -- but not everything. I'm thoroughly confused, and could really use some feedback!

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Well, I would say as far as the dance class girl...did she do all the inviting or did you ask her out too? If she asked you out initially, suggested the second date and invited you over for dinner, she may have not been sure that you were interested in her at all. At some point, you have to pursue her as well. Jt was not a mistake to not sleep with her, but maybe to show interest, there is touching her hand a little standing close when you talk instead of way accross the room works as well. Also, did you help her or did you sit on the sofa, waiting to be served? These are all things that come into play with a woman figuring if you are interested or not.


I think that the second group of women were ladies that you wouldn't have dated - they were just out for some flirting and you couldn't do the vacation because you had other obligations. It shows you have some class, really.


I don't think that you should give up, but I think you should pay more attention and if you like a woman and she gives you the green light, turn the tables and pursue her.

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Thanks for the reply! I know that's a problem I've had -- just being too unassertive. The girl from the dance class asked me out first, but I initiated the second and/or third dates. Still, any idea why women almost always reject me when I do ask them out, though?


I will take this advice to heart, though. The trouble now is finding someone, now that I'm out of college...

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