banal Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I hate when people say they're "confused" about their relationships, because usually they just mean they are uncertain about commitment, or whatever, but in this case I am genuinely, totally, unabashedly...confused. Cliff's notes: For over a month I've been dating a woman that I really like and who seems to really like me (we met on Match). That's not just my imagination speaking; she's told me, several times, that she likes me a lot and that we're compatible, in her words, "in a variety of ways." Sexually the relationship has been going slowly, which I'm fine with because I don't want to get her rushing into anything she's not really ready for. Anyway, we've spent an appreciable, though not excessive, amount of time together, averaging 2 dates per week. Every date has been great, save for one where she left my house bizarrely early because she claimed to have been tired (which I think was true, because it's been confirmed to me that she has serious sleeping problems). A few weeks ago, I had mentioned that I'm only seeing her - it wasn't an 'exclusivity discussion'; it just came up - and she confessed that she's only seeing me and not looking to date anyone else. So, all good. On Friday night, we went to dinner, saw a movie, and spent a few hours back at her house talking / fooling around (though no actual sex). When I left, spirits seemed high. We were going out the next day to an outdoor concert (very relaxed atmosphere) that she had gotten tickets to, which would be our first time together on consecutive days. Overall the night went well. She was her usual cheerful and witty self... Come Saturday morning, I picked her up and sensed she was a bit moody. And, boy, did she worsen. The whole time she was thoroughly miserable. I mean, MISERABLE. She initiated no conversation, replied sparingly, and took almost everything I said seriously (this is a woman with a fantastic sense of humor) for the purpose of insulting me. I asked her if anything was wrong, and she delivered the classic line of "No, nothing's wrong," clearly behaving as if I had murdered her puppy but hours before. I asked her again, later on, and she said, "No, stop asking me that." Eventually I got sick of trying to cheer her up and talk to her, so I shut up. Our ride home was astounding - two adults who, the day before, couldn't find enough time in the day to talk to each other, totally silent and tense for 30 minutes. The date itself was almost four hours of absolute torture. Hands down the worst date of my life. She claimed to have had a headache, but to me that's a ridiculous excuse. If the headache is so bad that it makes you transform into a muted and angry alien, then you probably wouldn't have been able to get out of the bed. I texted her later that night, despite my annoyance, to ask if she was feeling better, if she was indeed sick. She said she still didn't feel good but thanked me anyway. I left her alone and asked her the next night (Sunday) if she'd like to go out later this week. She said "maybe ill get back to u". First time she said "maybe" to an offer of a date. Goes without saying that I've not heard back from her. Although I deactivated my Match profile, I had a dummy account on there and I used it to check up on her - and she was listed as "Online Now." I suppose that her dream date could've messaged her on Match, and it was time to kick me to the curb, but it doesn't seem to add up with the timeline - she "changed" between late Friday night, after she had already turned off her computer, and Saturday morning, when I came to pick her up. I just don't understand. You know, it's the first time in my life, in fact, where I'm flabbergasted about dating. Whenever my relationships or dates have soured in the past, I've been able to 'get it.' This time, * * * ? How is it possible that someone can seem to like you so much - I mean, whenever we were together, we spent almost the whole time laughing and smiling - and who has told you that she's looking for a stable, long-term relationship, for which I am a near-perfect candidate, and then, literally ten hours later, basically hate you? What a waste of my time. I guess there's no question I have to ask any of you. I'm just ranting...sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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