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How to go about this?


kaput

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Hi guys

 

I have come to realise I was never assertive enough in my relationship. Women like a strong man I know, someone who can decide what is happening an when and to take controll every once in a while. I've never had this problem in my previous relationships and I put this down to depression I have been struggling with over the past year or so, mainly due to issues with my career/money etc, but now taking a brighter turn.

 

We have been split for 3 weeks. A mutual split at first, although I did try to reconcile which, as yet, has not happened.

 

Now, I work with this girl so we are in contact alot of the time.

 

How can I show her best that I can be the stong assertive man that she is looking for whilst trying to stick to the basic principles of self improvement/ NC (well, low contact for me)/ dealing with the issues surrounding the break up/ not pressuring her etc. etc.?

 

Sorry I have not gone into more detail re. the specifics of the break-up, but for now I would just like to know the best course of action re. showing I can be that assertive go-getter I really am

 

Thanks

 

Kaput

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You can show her by being yourself and not trying too hard. If you go out of your way trying to show her you have changed, you will stick out like a sore thumb and in a bad way. Just go about your business, not intentionally igoring her or anything, if your paths cross so be it. Just be non-chalant....the harder you "try" the worse it will be.

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Just go out and do it. Live your happy, successful life, and people (her included) will be drawn to you. Don't feel like you have to prove anything to her. Anything you might do to her directly will look weak. Charge ahead and don't look over your shoulder - just be confident that she's behind you, watching this guy she thought she knew.

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