Jump to content

Male egos


confusedg

Recommended Posts

A question for men. Let us say you're a 30 yr old guy who prides himself (and declares as much) that he is "rational, unemotional, he can internalise his feelings" and who has never been in a relationship, and always has a ratioonal objective response to emotional matters. Then - if you, completely unexpectedly to you, yourself, cry over a woman to whom you had presented this rational front for years, and you cry in front of her, holding her, and your own reaction shocks you, would it somewhere dent your ego? Or your sense of manhood or whatever?

Link to comment

Ok I'm a 30 yr old man and I find no shame in my emotions that does not mean I go around crying all the time, but I guess personally I have excepted the fact that I'm human and if at somepoint living in this world I have to I find no shame in doing so. However I am interested to find out if this is how other men think as you are talking to a man who has laid a foundation of tears from a past of hurts to allow me to show my emotions with out feeling or caring wth anbody else thinks of me.

Link to comment

I am proud. I cry alone in the shower. I learned at a young age that crying in front of a woman doesn't bring anything positive. It only would hurt my ego if that woman keeps doing the same she was doing that made me cry, I would feel stupid, ridiculous, and a piece of ....

That's why I don't cry in front of women. They never change. And you are the clown in the story.

Link to comment
... would it somewhere dent your ego? Or your sense of manhood or whatever?

 

Unfortunately, lots of guys are indeed brainwashed since birth to equate the display of "feelings" as being feminine and not masculine. Based on what you said I'd say there's a good chance he might have that reaction. Only time will tell.

Link to comment

Well, if you are the woman who witnessed this behavior, than I would say, yes --- he is embarrased to have broken down (in his eyes) in front of you. I would give him time (a week or so) and then approach him without bringing up the crying jag. Let him see you still think of him in the same way you used to ---strong, rational. Don't bring up the crying incident unless he does.

 

By reacting this way, you are giving him time to get his thoughts of himself back in order, not over reacting to an incident he may not feel good about, and subsequently, responding to him the same way you always did. This is not ignoring the crying, this is accepting that he is just human. But he may not want to talk about it at all.

Link to comment

To answer your question, I'd say it would be double edged for them.

Shame and a release at the same time.

 

Men are indeed brought up in a society where crying is showing a serious flaw in their character.

Considered a weak man, not considerable as a rock for emotional support which is expected by females in general.

 

I think this in turn screws up men psychologically even more.

Because this leaves them blocked off from the natural emotional outlet, forcing them into the ability of being cold, unemotional and able to just walk away from anything without appearing t have the slightest bit of sadness externally.

 

Of course this can be a great positive for a partner who is intentionally a bad person, since they will not see or hear the emotional effects of how much it has hurt the male, there fore believing what they did was not as bad as it seems even though, they would feel devastated if the same thing was done to them.

 

Who knows, maybe this is also the reason we get more males who completely loose it.

Just bottle up all the hurt till it breaks them, then crack....boom goes the shotgun.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...