I'm the cheater

[Whatsbest]

No reason at all, wife and family are perfect. She is heartbroken, i have serious and longstanding issues and am returning to therapy, classes, medication. There is no excuse for what ive done but what do i do now besides try to straighten myself out so that im not any worse of a father or ex than ive been already. She doesnt know if she can trust me again, understand that, but she is willing to try. Do i move out regardless of what she says? Despite my behavior, i love her very much and want to do what is best for her which i think is probably to get out of her life. Not emotional cheating, just being where i shouldn't be when i should be at home. Tough to admit but writing here anonymously, i guess my alcohol use has eliminated most of my friends and now am just a lonely drunk every once in a while.

I plan to quit drinking, return to aa, give her space, return to counseling, get back on an antidepressant, what else?

[asdf02932093]

It's hard to discern if this a problem of serial cheating or if the zenith of your drinking problems led to this one incident. You are pretty vague regarding long-term condition, etc.

 

If it is the former, you owe her to leave for now. If it is the latter, you leaving may only make things worse.

 

 

Obviously it is good that are you attempting to be introspective and assigning yourself appropriate blame (as well as possible solutions to the problems that led to your infidelity). Keep open lines of communication with your wife, make sure she knows that her + kids are by far the most important thing in your life, and that this episode makes you appreciate how much your family really means to you, you are nothing without them, etc.

[Staple]

Stay with her but be prepared she is going to take a long time to get over it. Something cheaters don't understand is that the victim takes an incredibly long time to get over the numerous effects of being cheated on (you feel ugly, unwanted, betrayed, sad, etc...). If you want it to work, just remember that.