Messed up situation. plz advise

[Lola123]

(sorry this is long, i tried to keep it as brief as i cud lol)

 

Ok back in feb 2010 I left my fiance, (we were together for a year but in that short space a lot a lot happened) not due to anyone cheating but because I had a lost twins off of my ex and I turned to drink. I lived with my ex and his parents at the time and because his mum was fostering, she told me that if i went to a pub and started drinking again she would throw me out. anyway, my friend grassed me up and she ended up finding out and kicked me out the house. I told my fiance we were over from then onwards as i felt he took his mums side over mine and I was made to stay with my dad who i had not seen in 16 years except for the odd occasion around my fiances mums house because she thought it wud be a good idea to get in contact with my dad as i was not getting on with my mum at the time.

 

A week later I went to get my stuff and he begged me to get back with him, I told him we were over. I was very blunt about the whole thing.

 

About 2 weeks later I started talking to this guy who I had been seeing about a year before I met my ex (unfortuantely this guy also drinks at the same pub my ex does) and I invite him over to my dads and one thing leads to another and we end up sleeping together. He promises to stay tight lipped about the whole thing but not long after the whole town knows about it (including my ex)

 

anyway, I end up leaving my dads and move back in with my ex for a month, just until I had the depsoit saved up to move into my flat. I stupidly thought I could get back with him as I realised how much I had missed him and how much he truly thought of me but he told me the spark had gone and how he couldnt forgive me for the fact I slept with someone else so shortly after we split. He was cold and disinterested with me. He then brough his ex over to the house and even tho I was sleeping in the spare room at the time, I couldnt believe he had brought her round as she did nothing but make mine and his life hell when we got togther. It was all done to spite me and hurt me.

 

so, I left his mums house and moved into my flat and found out i was pregnant. I had slept with my ex a couple of times when I moved back in his mums house because i thought he still had feelings for me but it turned out he never as when i told him about the pregnancy he told me to have an abortion. I asked him if he had met someone else and he said no. - a day later pictures of him and another girl are all over facebook. He became obsesed with her, the same way he did with me, except I was pregnant with his child and he didnt care. the love had gone.

 

Not long after, there were rumours going around that the baby might not be his and could be this other guy's that I had been with. My ex started to believe the rumours. He didnt bother with me throughout the pregnancy, except he made contact once when this girl he was seeing left him to go back with her ex, suddenely I was good enough to contact then. - I was about 7 months pregnant when he contacted me and all he did was talk about this other girl, he just wouldnt stop, even tho she had left him to get back with her ex. He even confessed he had slept with her. I was angry and hurt. I didnt no whiether or not he was doing it to make me jealous or what? He was so insensitive.

 

anyway, a few months ago i gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. he never contacted me when she was born. I made contact first. when she was 3 months old. - he told me he wanted a DNA test. However, he still hasnt took one so I have had to take the matter further. - I let him see her and seemed disinterested. I couldnt believe ethat this guy who had worshipped me not that long ago could treat me like this and his baby. - I then sent him several horrible messages. Maybe not the best thing to do but I was so angry.

 

The thing is, i still love him and i see him every time i look at my daughter. I really miss him and I just dont no what he wants, the last time I saw him, the spark seemed to of came and went and it was hard to read him. I dont no how he feels. I know how much I hurt him and I dont no if he can ever forgive me, thing is i cant forgive him either. He abandoned me when i was pregnant for sum other girl and i hate the pair of them. he still mentions her a lot, even showing me pictures of her cat! What should i do? leave him alone? my head is a mess but i just dont know if this chapter is fully closed.

[bulletproof]

Here is what you do: focus on raising your daughter. Go to court for financial support but leave him alone otherwise. You are a parent now. You and your child's well-being are the only things that matter. And I really hope you've stopped drinking- it sounds like things were pretty out of control for a while there.

[camus154]

Ugh, no kidding.

 

Why is it that the people in the absolute worst positions to be parents always decide to go ahead and be them?

 

Forget your ex and forget the silly drama with him. Congrats, your life is now about raising a child.

[Thorshammer]

He is telling you about the other women because he isnt over her yet, i do that too, and yes i blabbed on and on to ex's who tried to get back with me when i was going through a break up.

 

Fix yourself and be a better person. You could shine if you show you natural motherly skills and showed you matured, do this for your child only, and any benefit from it wouldnt hurt. Dont concern yourself with him now, there is nothing you can do to erase the past, all you can do is to try to fix your future, and in that alone is good attraction.

[Point5]

Your situation is very easy to fix.

Step 1.) Get a DNA test.

Step 2.) Make him pay child support (if its his).

Step 3.) Give him the option to raise his child (weekend visits, etc).

Step 4.) Leave your daughter out of the drama and raise her right.

[Lola123]

thanks guys

[EgoJoe]

I just want to say that I think you might benefit from Therapy.

[Lola123]

I just want to say that I think you might benefit from Therapy.

 

I dont see how that will help