Rebound relationships..advise

[adrian83]

Hi people,

 

Ive posted another thread on my situation. Thrs a few things i need to clarify from all your experiences. Ive been with my ex wife for 6 yrs. She was 16 at the time when we first dated and i was her first love/bf. We now have a 4 yr old boy whom we share custody on a week to week basis. Shes 22 turning 23 and im 27. Apart since March this year.

 

Ok at the beginniing of feb this yr, she drop the whole "i love you but i dont love you speech". She started hanging out with a new group of friends (younger and the partying type). She knew them a while back but did not really hang around themmuch until she dropped the bomb. I did the usual, beg, cried and got needy (unaware that this would push her further- god i wish i had known!) but this pushed her further until she gave me " i have no feelings for you whatsoever). I finally moved out a month later. Shes a young attractive woman where as i was a bit of a player (charming , cute and perhaps a wealthier family background) before i met her. After the BU however, she started gaining a bit weight (even to this day) where i lost a few kgs by hitting the gym and started looking good again (better than i was while we were together - i was getting chubby). We had no contact for about 3 months but we would still bump into each other from time to time at a local club ( as my frens go thr too ) but would normally ignore each other, however she would be starring at me from a distance (i know cos i can tell) . During this time, she would approach my friends - friends that she supposingly didnt "like" and start asking them " why do u hate me? etc etc". The thing was she was well-respected as my "wife" while we were together and when she hit the clubs she would normally be showered with "ohhh heyy, let me buy u a drink" by lots of my friends out of respect.

 

After 3 mths on one club night, i broke NC and decided it would be good if i got a closure. I did date during this period and got with a girl but it was perhaps just for sex or to feed my loneliness. My ex found out about this and got a bit upset (from what ive heard through her FB comments). The thing is she didnt know me and the other girl had sex but she knew we had a thing going on. However, me and the girl ended as i didnt want to pursue a relationship. So anyway, we decided to stay friends due to our son and started texting each other (just based on our son), friendly gnites and stuff like that. Then, she texted me saying "i miss you. I miss what we could have been". I said the same and she said "me too". She also said "we will always have feelings for each other". But this all changed when i found out from my son that theres this guy whom i sorta know, staying over at their place and she finally admited that they are together to one of my best friends 2 weeks ago. (not ive been in NC for about 1.5 mths now again).

 

Now for all i know, this guy is perhaps a "nice" guy. I dont know relationship wise though. However, about 1.5 months ago, my ex told me that this guy "has been thr for her through her hardest time and that, "she got comfortable".

 

Looks wise: he's ok looking i suppose. However, hes not really doing anything with his life. Started a course in some BS school. He's 20 (younger than her). And i spoke to one of my friends two days back, and hes like he's dirt poor (family background even).

 

Ive done my fair share of mistakes dont get me wrong and perhaps selfish in many ways. But ive changed during the years.. and became a real husband and father.

 

I guess my question is.. how long do rebound relationships last? Of course im not going to wait forever, but i feel that once this whole "nice" guy thing wears of, she will come crawling back when i decide to fully move on (This happens a lot dont they!)..

[Carus]

I guess my question is.. how long do rebound relationships last?

My ex left me for another guy....They are still together to this day almost 3 years later...

 

Of course, my ex is not your ex but take from that what you will....*

 

Anyone else....?

 

Sorry this is short but I'm on my way out...

 

Best Of Luck.

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)

[endy]

Yup you gotta just move on. There obviously wasn't enough time between relationships for either of you. Not healthy at all. Let the rebound take it's course. She may come back, she may not. The best thing for you to do is to heal yourself and become attractive again. You probably jumped the gun a bit by breaking NC by the way too. The only contact you should have from her is about your child from here out.