First night back and having these thoughts...

[joswsieg]

I spent my first night back on campus last night. As you may already know, I go to to the same school as my ex, and I live 30 seconds (walking distance) away from her. It was not as bad as I thought it would be back here but I am still very very sad.

I was walking last night to meet one of my friends and I saw her walk past me by herself. I didn't say anything. It hurt to see her walking by herself so late because I had no idea who she was meeting with at such an hour.

I keep having these thoughts about getting back together with her and I wish there was something I could do.

[Carus]

Hey Jo*

 

I've followed you pretty much since you came here, and all I can do is offer you my support....

 

There actually IS something you can do....the ironic thing is, you're doing it*

 

You're moving forward and being as strong as you can be....

 

Having to be around the ex would be pretty hellish I can imagine, but it will also help you to become resilliant to it....

 

When someone is totally gone from your life, it can sometimes turn them into some mythical golden figure as we dont see the day to day realities....

 

Keep at it buddy....I'm finding it hard to get motivated this semester....but motivated I must get..! I am determined to finish this degree although all I want to do right now is go and get lost in the deep jungles of Indonesia and surf my troubles away...!

 

In the words of Winston ~ When you're going through Hell - Keep Going!

 

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)

[Silverbirch]

Ditto Carus!

[Carus]

Hi Silver* (waving)

 

Always nice to 'see' you...

 

Gonna update your thread with some pony stories...?

 

((Hugs))

Carus* 8-)

[Brownstone322]

The first thing you have to purge is this ...

 

I keep having these thoughts about getting back together with her ...

Based on the aftermath of your breakup, there's no way, no how, no chance that is gonna happen anytime soon. You need to repeat that to yourself. You're at an "emotional deficit" relative to her, which means you have zero chance of being attractive to her. You need to replace those wasted thoughts with something like this ...

 

I keep having these thoughts about getting my act together and going in new directions ...

There, that's better.

 

What year are you? This academic year needs to be a year of recovery. It needs to be a year about you. (You can't force this; it happens on its own. On the other hand, you can voluntarily impede the natural process, and that worries me a little bit on your case.)

 

Trust me, if you just stop pining, by this time next year you will feel completely different about yourself and about her. You'll look back at yourself (the person the rest of us see now) and think, "Jeez, what in hell was I thinking?" On that I give you my personal guarantee.

 

As much as I wanna slap you, I firmly on your side.

[Carus]

There, that's better.

lol...Nice edit Brownstone*

 

But it's true...Keep working on acceptance of the way things are and being grateful for things you DO have*

 

IF she starts making steps towards you later down the track you can address it then...and I do hope that if that does happen, it's after enough time has passed that you will take a mostly logical approach rather than an emotional one....You've been around here a while now Jo*, long enough to have seen what happens if recons happen to fast...or too soon...*

 

In the meantime, get out there and live YOUR life...for YOU*

This academic year needs to be a year of recovery. It needs to be a year about you.

I had to apply this to myself too and so far so good....

 

I just sold my house that I'd kinda built with my ex, and so as Brownstone* can relate to, this has bought up a bit of 'rubbish', but never to mind...Ever Forward*

 

Regards

Carus* 8-)

[Silverbirch]

Hi Jos,

A book which helped me a lot is called "From Abandonment to Healing". I can see now that it is pretty much a human thing (for most people) that when we get dumped it can bring up a lot of old hurts that we don't even think of in our conscious minds. Genuinely realising that helped me so much.

 

Hey Carus, the little guy is keeping me so busy. I have taken some photos but haven't uploaded them yet. I'm going to start a case study journal probably today. His resilience and disposition amazes me. He has totally won my heart. I'll probably also put a page up on him in the pets section soon. I'm going to start classes in September with a master farrier, and I'm becoming so much more confident and skilled. I am certain this Little Black Pony will be an integral part of my healing. Hadn't actually consciously thought that I have "rescued" people in the past, but I have most definitely taken on a carer role with men, something I am determined not to either rescue or save people or even think they need it - I'll save it for animals! Sorry for hijacking your thread Jos.