Level Nine Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Hi, I'm new here and not sure which category to post but here it goes. I've been dating this girl for a few months now, but the more we meet, she seems to talk less and is very passive. I hug her but she doesn't move at all and stands/sits there like a rock. I figure if she doesn't like being touched, she'd have pushed me away or brush me off. She always crosses her arms so I don't get to hold her hands. I put my arms around her while walking, but she just keeps walking. Do you guys think she is just shy? I've dated many girls before but nobody like her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DylanNotorious Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Was she like this in the beginning? Have you tried to talk to her about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Sounds strange to me. Have you asked her why she behaves like this? Or are you concerned asking will lead to her getting angry at you when it is a good question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Level Nine Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 Yeah she's always been. I figured it would change as we dated more, but it hasn't which has me puzzled. Sure, I'll talk to her about it, but wanted some opinions before I ask her directly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaKings55 Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 She likely has some level of social anxiety, is shy, or is "tactilely defensive" meaning affectionate contact creates a form of anxiety. Or, far more likely just isn't into it. I would bring it up, tell her that if she isn't feeling it, then you should not pursue the relationship any further, as it will only deepen any emotional bond, leading to more heartbreak down the road. Everyone is always afraid to confront someone else, especially a potential partner, when something bothers them, but trust me, it will only hurt in the long run if left not confronted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForumGuy Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 I wouldn't blame it on shyness. Sounds like she is just passing the time because she has nothing better to do. I am wondering about kissing or other more intimate things......to me, a few months is a long time to be dating without at least making out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Level Nine Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 She likely has some level of social anxiety, is shy, or is "tactilely defensive" meaning affectionate contact creates a form of anxiety. Or, far more likely just isn't into it. I would bring it up, tell her that if she isn't feeling it, then you should not pursue the relationship any further, as it will only deepen any emotional bond, leading to more heartbreak down the road. Everyone is always afraid to confront someone else, especially a potential partner, when something bothers them, but trust me, it will only hurt in the long run if left not confronted I actually doubt she is shy, or has social anxiety. I have her Twitter and she seems like a normal girl, at least when being with her friends. I would bring it up, and yeah, if she isn't feeling it, I'm ok not pursuing the relationship further. We'll see what happens... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaKings55 Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 I actually doubt she is shy, or has social anxiety. I have her Twitter and she seems like a normal girl, at least when being with her friends. I would bring it up, and yeah, if she isn't feeling it, I'm ok not pursuing the relationship further. We'll see what happens... It can take some people a long time to feel at ease around people they do not know very well. However, in this case, something seems amiss in her overall behavior in your company. I would say she just doesn't want a relationship. However, many people, especially women, seem trained to be as gentle as possible, and she may not know how to let you down softly. Like you said though, we'll see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 that sounds really odd. i would ask her what is going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForumGuy Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 It is also not uncommon for either sex to drive the other person into breaking up, so they won't be the "guilty party". Sometimes they are not even conscious of their motives or that they are even doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Sounds like she's not that into you and is using defensive positions (no chance of accidentally holding/brushing her hand when they're clamped to her chest) and being a rock when you hold her. Sorry but I don't think she likes you in that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalalollipops Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 uh she's probably not that into you when I was going out with a guy for 3 months recently, in public I didn't really want to hold his hand or hug him or whatever. Just didn't feel like it =X normally when I'm pretty into a guy, I'm pretty affectionate (not one for hard out PDA, but you know hand holding, hugging etc is ok) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I wonder why she's still with you all these months? Has she explained that to you? Not only she's being very cold it just doesn't make any sense unless she just wants company. When people are not physically affectionate or cannot display emotions like the way she's doing, it's a big red flag. Sure, anyone can change but unfortunately it'll either take a long time including for the person to realize/change but if anything it's a lost cause. I would honestly cut your loss in this situation and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cereza Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 she is either shy or doesn't like you which wouldn't make sense since it's been months now right? yes she is probably not comfortable with the hugging and holding hands because 1. maybe she has never had a bf before 2. her family never hug her or anything so now she doesnt now how to respond..maybe you should wait until she feels more comfortable with you or maybe you or ask her about it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpg.a7437edbcaa5924fb077b36bf6653986.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.619cbf9ada685acba712967edfb3e7aa.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.65c4c15f72ce59b381ef6ad97046db0f.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.