Trying to get through this.

[lovelifexoxo]

we broke up three weeks ago tomorrow ( going out for 8 months)

 

I have some issues i need to work on, I think i have a minor case of seperation anxeity, and I have some theories as to why that me be so. He left to go on a trip for a week and I just was upset and I didn't know why I was being that way.. and i remember just being like stop in my brain. Also, the BC that i am on is not helping anything, I have had a rough time with it and i feel like my bodies going through hell. I sometimes have no energy to get out of bed. And the thing is it stays in your body for three months so i have to wait till it's out of my system to do anything about it.

I explained all this to him and I felt like he got it and understood everything.

 

He had some issues to, I constantly was waiting on him. It would take him hours to get anywhere to do anything with me. The night before this all went down I waited two hours for him to get home with no messages apologizing that he would be late. It was always me trying to plan things. It just felt like I wasn't that important.

 

 

Our last convo was him saying he didn't know what he wanted over and over and me begging him pretty much to want me. Then i just gave up and basically said you know what you want you're just not telling me. And i said you would know if you wanted to be with me. and he said yeah you're probably right. He also, said he didn't think things can change. After that i just go so upset that i wanted to vomit and just went home. He didn't even bother to text me to see if i was ok. The next day, I texted him and told him I have been so sick about it and he said he was sorry to hear that.(then nothing) and that day I just decided to put single on my facebook. and he did a day later. I get nothing from him not one word. He had a bike at my house and secretly came over and got it with my brothers help.

 

 

I have not tried to talk to him for two weeks now, it's so upsetting.. no one gets it so i find myself on here a lot. I hear a lot of he's an ass and blahblah but i just don't want to hear it. I just want him back in my life. I feel so lonely and empty, i have no really close friends that i can vent to, and my family is sick of hearing it already so i basically keep to myself.

 

To make matters worse my mom wrote a nasty fb post about him which he saw and sent she sent another message to him through fb, and i just wish she didn't do that, I just feel like she ruined any chance for him to want to ever be with me again. I apologized to him about it and i said i hoped he wouldn't hold it against me.

 

I will go into more details if they are needed, every time I write the whole story down i feel so silly and that it's childish but, I'm very very hurt.

[ella44224]

I just want to say I can really relate to your story in a lot of ways. I was with by ex boyfriend for almost a year and he broke up with me a little over a month ago. The circumstances are kinda similar to yours. He had to leave to go work for 2 months at camp this summer, the separation was really hard on me and ended up being really miserable and panicking about it sometimes. It added a lot of stress on him and my separation anxiety is what caused him to break up with me, he couldn't handle the extra stress. I knew it was wrong to be so caught up in him being away and the back of my mind kept telling me to settle down, chill out and it would all be okay, but I didn't. It was like I couldn't because I was so scared to lose him and the irony is now he's gone as a result of that behavior. I did the same begging and pleading you did too, it's so hard not to. I got in touch with him 4 times in the first three weeks we we're broken up, wanting to work things out and he was pretty distant with me. We haven't spoken since then (3 weeks ago) and it's tough, this is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. I think about him all the time and the things I used to love doing don't bring me any happiness now. I'm just going through the motions of life it seems. My friends and family (like yours) keep telling me he's a jerk and to forget him but we both know that it's not that easy. I don't know about you but I really don't think my ex is an ass or even a bad guy he was just watching out for himself...

 

It sucks because I think most people are really sympathetic when people first break up but they kinda lose their patience for it after a couple weeks and if you're still upset it just becomes pathetic in a lot of peoples eyes, I feel. I know I stopped talking to my friends and family about how much it hurts a few weeks ago because they're just over hearing about it. Now I just keep it to myself and also spend a lot of times on these boards...I still want to talk to him and stuff even though it's been 3 weeks, don't know how long I'll last. I still have hope we'll have another shot but everyone's pretty much told me to let it go, really I just hope after sometime we"ll be able to talk again, but i'm probably just living in a dream lol. This probably wasn't much help to you but I hope you don't feel childish or stupid because I'm right with you in terms of how you're feeling right now. They say no contact is the fastest way to healing, so hopefully we can both stay strong and eventually things will start to look up. If you need anyone to talk to let me know, I'd be happy to try and help or just commiserate with you.

[lovelifexoxo]

Hey Ella!

 

This really means alot that there is someone out there that can relate to all this!!!

 

I sent you a private message -- hope to hear from you