newagain Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 I am recently divorced (1 year) and so is she. I have left a abusive relationship and found my soulmate. I have learned new levels of love and respect in this new relationship......and then the bomb drops... The loving, gentle, amazing woman I love becomes a very raw nerve every 28 days. She is borderline emotionally abusive and picks at everything anyone does (me and her kids). The next morning she acts as if nothing ever happened. It truly is a test of my patience. I consider myself a patient and resourceful person, but it has been eight months of trying different ways of reaching her. I cannot even think of approaching her while her hormones are raging so I wait for a chance when she will feel safe and sane to talk about it. She admits to feeling badly for the way she treats those close to her, and then explains that she doesn't know what to do. I certainly know better than to tell her what to do, but how can I incourage her to get some help? I have been in a marriage and several long term relationships before this one and never felt so much of a shift in mood and temperament. I don't want to change this beautiful and caring woman, but I am truly pushed to my breaking point every 28 days, if for only 24 hours. I have tried to just give her space while she rages, but she says I abandon her...... HELP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Maybe she has PMDD, which is not exactly PMS. link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Tricky! I have a 3 hour time every month when I see irrational things on my bf's fb and acuse him of all sorts. It's now known as my 'funny hormones' and I have to warn him in advance! Embarrassing. As for your gf, I do know supplements such as starflower oil and vitamin B's can ease symptoms so discuss this after the next 'episode' when she has time to take them. Don't throw everything away over a 24 hr hormonal rage, it's hard to control as we know it's happening but feel powerless! If needs be then stay away during that time or just accept it will happen and not rise to any bait, it takes a few months for the supplements to kick in. Which reminds me, I'd better start taking some! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Tricky! I have a 3 hour time every month when I see irrational things on my bf's fb and acuse him of all sorts. It's now known as my 'funny hormones' and I have to warn him in advance! Embarrassing. As for your gf, I do know supplements such as starflower oil and vitamin B's can ease symptoms so discuss this after the next 'episode' when she has time to take them. Don't throw everything away over a 24 hr hormonal rage, it's hard to control as we know it's happening but feel powerless! If needs be then stay away during that time or just accept it will happen and not rise to any bait, it takes a few months for the supplements to kick in. Which reminds me, I'd better start taking some! Yeah, my husband knows to hide. I am not saying it is right, but you do feel a little powerless. I agree maybe she should check out some supplements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newagain Posted August 20, 2011 Author Share Posted August 20, 2011 Thank you for your post, I reviewed the website and there is good information that we can use to better our situation. She is currently doing a great number of the helpful solutions including medication for anxiety (she struggles with her anxiety throught the month but handles it well). Her doctors don't seem to take her pre-menstrual symptoms very seriously (and I don't know how much she tells them ) . I am trying to focus on my own level of tolerance as well, trying to lower the hurt I experience, but she often fails to realize that she is reacting until after her storm blows over. By then, the damage is done. Hiding doesn't work, she expects me to weather this storm with her...and I do so at the cost of my own feelings. I cannot be the target of someones aggressive behaviour..... I already ended my marriage over that issue after 11 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbombSnowMan Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Its hard to help since every girl handles it differently. My gf used to have her freakout moments every month and basically told me If im dating her its part of her and I have to put up with it. I told her sorry but I'm not going to just put up with it. Suddenly they stopped...so who knows how much control they actually have over it ;p One thing I did learn however, is to never accuse the girl of having PMS when they actually are PMSing because apparently that just makes them way more angry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newagain Posted August 20, 2011 Author Share Posted August 20, 2011 Absman, thanks for your reply. I'm not sure if that approach would work for our problem, but I'm glad it worked for the two of you. Thanks for taking the time to reach out to a stranger..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flaminghair81 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I have this issue. About 5-7 days before I start, I am rather rough to deal with. Emotional, irrational, uncontrollable. I talked to my gyno about it and he put me on Sarafem, a low dose, one pill a day. I am to take them when I have the symptoms come up. Bad thing is I usually don't realize that I am being a complete Witch until 2-3 days into it. I warned my bf in the beginning of our relationship that I had this issue and that he needs to nicely tell me to take my pill when I am being like that for no reason. We've been together 8 months and he still won't. He sits back and takes it like a champ. Then 2-3 days into it I realize what I've been doing and feel like a complete @$$, apologize. I'm now on a birth control that is meant for women who don't handle the flux of hormones well. It has also made a difference. Its not an easy thing to go through and knowing how irrational I can be, I understand why my bf just sits back and rides it out. Has she talked to her gyno about it? I had mentioned it to my general doc and he just looked at me like I was crazy and said he could put me on a full time anti-depressant, which I don't need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielle1973 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I'm now on a birth control that is meant for women who don't handle the flux of hormones well. It has also made a difference. What is it called? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flaminghair81 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Natazia. Its newer from what my doc said, but it gives different hormones throughout the month. I have an ovarian cyst that has caused me to have a lot of issues. The way of getting me back to normal was birth control, which I have never been able to tolerate well. My emotions went absolutely crazy on a few I tried. But I gave it a go on this one because the emotional side effects were better than my body being uncontrollable. I'm on my 2nd month and it fixed my issues the cyst caused and has not made me crazy like the others had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielle1973 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Natazia. Its newer from what my doc said, but it gives different hormones throughout the month. I have an ovarian cyst that has caused me to have a lot of issues. The way of getting me back to normal was birth control, which I have never been able to tolerate well. My emotions went absolutely crazy on a few I tried. But I gave it a go on this one because the emotional side effects were better than my body being uncontrollable. I'm on my 2nd month and it fixed my issues the cyst caused and has not made me crazy like the others had. I've had similar issues (no cyst, but crazy hormones on some pills). The last one I tried (Yaz) worked well for a month but then I had a fairly bad allergic reaction to it, so I stopped taking it and am currently using nothing. My boyfriend is sterile, so actual birth control is unnecessary, but I'd like to have some regulation of my periods and emotions. I'll have to look into this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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