sgt pepper Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Hey guys I'm back after a long absence and a lot has happened since my last post. The "details list" format seems to work pretty well. I just need some input and all in all another perspective. here goes, I'll start off from the time of my last post: -ex is single -I am single and improving on myself in every aspect I can. -I try to ignore my feelings for my ex and keep moving on, giving the impression that I loathe her. -my room-mate is the old best-friend of my ex. -before you say anything, my ex betrayed her and now my roomy doesn't care for her too much. -we go to ex's place of work to get stuff (wal-mart). -my roomy comes out to me, in the car "I have proof that L will never get back with you!" she said with a smile,. - how? She was dating somebody new, apparently was just once. -my heart aches, all the pain i had ignored came all at once. -my eyes well up and I start to cry, all while driving out of the parking lot. -"C, I cant... keep lying to myself... I want her back! More than anything!" -she agrees to help me, help me find the right way to talk to her again and get my foot in the door. Fast forward 1 month -the tornado that ripped through Missouri? The one that killed 150+ people? Me and my ex are living in that town. -i was watching the tornado 3-4 blocks from my apartment. -on the radio it said that the tornado hit the wal-mart she was working at was hit directly by the tornado. -without thinking i head out the door and drive to her work to find it in ruins. -not knowing if shes alive or dead... I begin to dig, with my bare hands. Praying to god that she's still alive. -after about an hour i get to the tile. -no bodies, no ex, nothing. -i get back in my car, staining the interior with my bloody hand-prints and go to check my family if theyre ok. -i later learn that she was fine. -my roomy starts chatting with her. -she hears of what i did for her. After suing her and everything else. 1 week later: i get a message -"You were the only one that cared" -"I wish it'd go back to the way it was" -3 weeks we text daily -one day; nothing -i check my facebook -L is in a new relationship -she is in a relationship... with a satanist i remember from high school. -i text her, infuriated, "YOU WANTED TO TOY WITH ME?" -"IM THE ONLY ONE THAT * * * * IN CARED" -she says she's sorry and knew that the update would hurt me. -i ignore her. -"everybody told me about him so im not going to date him. Since your not around ill stay single, so be it. -i continue to ignore her -she gets angry and says that shes not worth talking to anyway. -i go to sleep wondering what she meant. 1 week later. -i text her, apologizing for what i said and explaining myself. Expressing my want for us to try again but slow. -"well you should just forget about me. we had love but it just went wrong somewhere" - i text her "ok if thats the way you want it. have a good life" -I look through my things and compile a box of her stuff she "forgot" -i drive to her parents house to drop it off. -shes there, my heart starts to race as i approach her -i park, get out, open the trunk, shove it in her chest. as quick as it took you to read this line. -"you had all this?" she said. "yeah, i figured you'd come get it eventually but you never did." - i drive off. leaving her there. -i still hear from people that she was flabbergasted about how i did it. 2 weeks later -i hear that she got back with the older, LDR guy. She said that i will always be her first love, but we will never be together again. -I... don't care, i take the news really well actually. -i continue to move on. -one day i go outta town to see some family. -my ex asks my roomy if she can come over and have "girl talk" (unbeknownst to me) -text: " i made her cry" -"what?" -My ex wanted to talk about me... for THREE (3) whole hours -my ex hears exactly what happened the night of the tornado. from start to finish. -she begins to cry. she leaves the apartment in tears. 3 days later (Aug/17/11): - i get a message asking how I am. That was 2 days ago(Aug/19/11). I haven't texted her back. she texts my roomy asking why i didn't respond As far as I'm concerned as long as she is with anyone, there is nothing for us to talk about. This is everything that happened so far. One day its we will never be together than shes weeping about me for a couple hours. I ask for your assistance. Thank you. Link to comment
Reilly2856 Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Honestly, if she was truly 'moved' by what you did...and those tears were genuine...what's stopping her from being with you? I don't buy her tears... Link to comment
Sim54 Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 You are BOTH playing childish games with each other. Why have you ignore her text? What do you hope to achieve? If you want her back, ignoring her is just going to piss her off. Seriously, start acting like and adult, even if she isn't. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 She finds what you did heroic, attractive, and cute. But its not enough, everytime she contacts you she gets that desire of knowing that you exist and like her. Its like having a momento of something you accomplished for confidence. And ignoring her text is the thing to do, you are not childish. If one minute she says sweet things, then the next she puts in a relationship, last thing you should do is give her more attention. You have handled the situation well. If you made a good effort to get her back, and she still bounces around, then cut her off and ask your room-mate to not talk about you to her. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 She finds what you did heroic, attractive, and cute. But its not enough, everytime she contacts you she gets that desire of knowing that you exist and like her. Its like having a momento of something you accomplished for confidence. And ignoring her text is the thing to do, you are not childish. If one minute she says sweet things, then the next she puts in a relationship, last thing you should do is give her more attention. You have handled the situation well. If you made a good effort to get her back, and she still bounces around, then cut her off and ask your room-mate to not talk about you to her. aye, agree with this... mabes she cried cos it dawned on her that she truly was loved, and she blew it with her relationship status bs...thats her deal, may she learn from that....people are emotional beings, with feelings, only play with them if you can handle the consequences, or jus grow up and dont play games end of Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted August 20, 2011 Author Share Posted August 20, 2011 Honestly, if she was truly 'moved' by what you did...and those tears were genuine...what's stopping her from being with you? I don't buy her tears... She told my roomy she'd be with me but my family hates her. (I screwed up and made them my therapist.) Also older, LDR guy is back in the picture. This is what happens; she starts to develop feelings for me just as she starts a new relationship/rebounds. The whole event backfires on her because now she's torn between 2 men. One that would've saved her life in a tornado for her, or one that... i don't know what he did for her... I guess took her to a theme park. This is just what I think is happening. Who know what is really going on. Link to comment
Reilly2856 Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 If the only time she starts developing feelings for you is when she is in a new relationship/rebounds, then her feelings can surely not be genuine. If you love someone...u just do. Its something you know all the time...it doesn't just 'DAWN' on you when you are with someone else. She is torn between two guys because she doesn't feel anything long-term for either of you. You can't be in love with two people at the same time...there is always one that means more to you than the other. So, accept that. As for the family thing, so what if your family hates her...that is not a reason to be held back. If she were to come back, she would be dating you..not your family. That simple thing should not hold her back. She could simply apologize to everyone...own up to her end of the mistakes and tell them that you both are going to give your relationship another shot and she would appreciate if they not judge her on her past mistakes, as she wants to turn over a new leaf. Again, I would have to say that she is simply presenting you with excuses on why she can't come back only to string you along. She wants both this new guy for whatever he gives her and she wants you for the attention that you provide. Stop wasting your time on someone who doesn't have the guts to step up and take another shot with you. IF she really valued you...thought you were worth taking another chance...she would have done so. Forget about what she says...her INACTION should tell you everything you need to know. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 It would seem as though she keeps trying to hook up with other guys. This isn't someone you pursue. Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Alright. Thank you all for your input. from your advice I will plan a course of action; 1. I plan to ignore her attempts to contact me as long as she is another relationship. This is for me to heal, but also for her to "miss" me. 2. My roomy will not bring me up in conversation. Only when another person brings me up is it appropriate. (this is entirely dependent on whether she actually does or not) 3. I will make no attempts to contact her. In the case I must I will use an unconventional method (snail mail, e-mail, etc.) If this is reasonable for you guys then I'm good. But, if anything is outta line please let me know. Thank you. Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Bump. What do you guys think? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I think its time you put her behind you and move forward. Link to comment
wolflovesmoon Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band??? Bump. What do you guys think? Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Bump. What do you guys think? Move on. You did the big Hollywood movie search for her scene complete with bloody handprints. She has moved on. Let her go and find a new relationship. These larger than life gestures are rarely what is needed in a complicated chemical mix between men and women. She either digs you or she does not. Van Gough lost an ear trying to impress. Let this one go.... Plenty of other women in the world and they do not all work at Walmart. Get over the drama and find somone who picks YOU. Good luck. Link to comment
Carus Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Hey Sgt* I agree with the others to re-focus your energy now onto your own life.... As for the list you put up on the last page, you should write that out and stick it on your bathroom mirror to make sure you stick to it* Best Of Luck Carus* 8-) Link to comment
mandellin Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I am in a similar situation,but on the girls side of it...minus the tornado and heroic rescue and all.I love my ex, want him back,want him to be with me. I straight up told him that...then he ignores me. That makes me in an already fragile state think that he doesnt want me...so I am trying to move on with my life. First I tried with a guy who I was friends with who everyone told me I should love. Maybe I should love him,but I don't. I was trying to erase the lonliness....then ex texts me on and off acting interested or once again playing with me???? Then, I split up with him....ex is still mainly ignoring me so I move on down the road and have started dating someone else. It has been a year, I am just as vulnerable and fragile as he is and him ignoring me made me think he wasn't interested but rather just toying with my emotions......I have begged him to come and just talk to me and see what we think. I mean I have heard so many things, I heard he got married,I heard he had a kid, I heard he dated so and so,I heard he was single,Ive heard everything but have no clue what the truth is. I dont know if that helps at all but the moral of the story is if you love her why in hades are you ignoring her that is the wrong signal man! Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 I dont know if that helps at all but the moral of the story is if you love her why in hades are you ignoring her that is the wrong signal man! I'm ignoring her because she is with somebody else. I can't take talking to the her when after she walks away or puts the phone down she'll be in his arms and not mine. You see pasted on this forum "let them miss you" I'm trying my best to move on and the miss me part is just a bonus. Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band??? Yes kinda fitting for a forum like this. Don't you think? Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 Hey Sgt* I agree with the others to re-focus your energy now onto your own life.... As for the list you put up on the last page, you should write that out and stick it on your bathroom mirror to make sure you stick to it* Best Of Luck Carus* 8-) Believe me I plan on it. Either out of fear or what, I will not talk to her unless she's single, gives a damn, etc. Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 I think its time you put her behind you and move forward. trying my best. Thanks Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 I would like to get your opinion. How should I go about this? Should I initiate contact then? What would be best in a GBT outcome? Link to comment
sgt pepper Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Umm... Bump? I hate to keep resurrecting a dead thread but just thought I'd see if anybody would reply to my answers Link to comment
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