vanillacupcake Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Been dating this guy for awhile now. Everything has been fantastic up until last weekend. We had our first fight and it was a doozy. At first, he ended it, then requested time to think. We've been mostly NC all week, did talk yesterday where he still said he needed time to think. I sent him a text last night saying, "I miss you. I want to do this right, go slow and let things happen naturally." (We dove head first into a relationship, spending every day together) Today, he asked for his phone charger back. Now, last week, he kept his charger at my apartment telling me it was his spare. His phone battery would not last more than 24 hours and hasn't had this "spare" charger since Monday. His phone would have died way before asking for it back. (Before anyone says something, there isn't another woman. I know this for a fact.) So he's driven by his friend to my place to pick up his charger. Considering we have been barely speaking all week, I figured he would take his "spare charger" and go, his friend waiting in the car and all. He was leaving for the weekend, a trip with his friend. I have a childhood friend coming to town tomorrow, who I cherish and he's been excited to meet her. He knows it has been a big deal for me -- them meeting. Instead of taking the charger and leaving, he asked me how I was, asked me when my friend was coming to town. I told him I would really love if he met her. He told me he wouldn't be back till Sunday and agreed to meet her, since she'll be here all week. We then hugged, I gave him a kiss, told him to have fun and he left. He's not the type of guy to play games, and not the type of guy to take a "break" if he rather just break-up. And he's definitely not the type of guy to lead someone on. I am wondering if this is a good sign? Last time I saw him, he was so upset by the fight, he did not want me to touch him and now we were hugging. He still also wants to meet the most important person in my life, and I don't think someone who wanted to break up would want to do that? He could have also easily said thanks for the charger, go back to the car and leave... but he hesitated and stood around, trying to make small talk. Any advice or outsider view would be great.... I am too afraid to ask if we are going to try again, because I do not want to pressure him. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 You don't mention what you guys had a fight about. It's hard to know based on your above story anything really. As for the phone charger - if it was a spare one, why did he need to come and pick it up? If you guys were getting back together, wouldn't he have just left it at your house? Link to comment
ToF Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Call and ask him what's going on. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 I agree with wanting to know what the breakup was about... Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Sounds like he got time to cool off but that doesn't mean much unless we got the scoop what you 2 were arguing about. Link to comment
Deciduous Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Hi vanillacupcake I am too afraid to ask if we are going to try again, because I do not want to pressure him. I think you are right not to pressure him. Give him a wide berth for now. He's battered, bruised and not quite sure if he is coming or going. Obviously you are both shaken, but he seems to have taken it to heart and it's best to let the ground settle underneath him with no interrogatory questions. If he's coming back, he will drift back once he realises you aren't chasing him up and you are getting on with your life. I doubt he'd come up with a positive answer for you at this point. Let him experience just what he is losing. Let him miss you and you carry on with your things. You've demonstrated that you are will to patch things up, now it's his turn. I know it is excruiating for you waiting on the side-lines, but hold strong. You do not need to chase him for him to get over himself and come back. Arguments are a fact of life in relationships. If you two are to make a go it, then he will have to find a way of dealing with these disagreements. Even when the topics are major. Deci Link to comment
vanillacupcake Posted August 20, 2011 Author Share Posted August 20, 2011 Thank you all for the replies. What we fought about was my behavior. His roommate/best friend has become really resentful of me and disrespects me whenever I am around. I have been nothing but nice, however I expected my bf to stick up for me. Last weekend, he broke plans with me to spend time with his best friend. Acting childish, I became bratty, I wouldn't tell him what I was doing and started giving attitude. I was mad, thinking he would let this guy talk badly about me without any repercussion. He believed I was playing games. I did, I admitted to it, I feel awful about it and have apologized profusely. That was it. We have had no fights prior. He was extremely, extremely angry at me. Now he is questioning whether EITHER of us are ready for this relationship to go further. (we only became exclusive recently after dating awhile) He never called it a breakup.... just time off to think, considering we have spent almost every single day together the past few weeks since becoming exclusive. Link to comment
Point5 Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Maybe hes picking up the spare charger to take it on his trip? Its hard to say right now, but youll have your answer this week if he actually meets your friend or if he flakes. I think he wont flake though, it seems like he cooled off. Link to comment
ToF Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 If you guys do continue to date, it sounds like this issue with his roommate needs to be worked out. I don't think you were 100% at fault, so don't take all the blame just so he will come back to you. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.