kids on leashes

[Fudgie]

That is the thing, a lot of times people make judgments based on what MOST children would do and are capable of and make no allowance for any variance. My son is ADHD and High Functioning Autistic. I could have fought with him about staying beside me till hell froze over. I did not want to make his every day a misery and mine neither. I made it so I picked my battles. We have a great relationship and he is a great teen and was not at all affected by his about 6 months of having a harness and he is also ALIVE.

 

I agree with you. Spending some time as a small child on a harness isn't going to hurt anyone. He's not going to remember it and even if he did, it's not this awful experience like you dragged him accross the floor or something.

 

I'd rather have the kid alive and well.

[sharsachan]

when i only had one kid, i didnt see a need.

 

when i had two kids, they started looiking very appealing.

 

now that i'm with two and a third on the way, i've realized that my kids will outnumber my hands. and that makes a leash look even more appealing.

 

i look at it this way: i can train a dog to not run in the street but every so often a dog acts on impulse, not training. we put leashes on our dogs to protect them. why should i offer less protection to my child who alwase is not mature enough to not act on impulses? i would like to think my kids are as important as a dog and deserve that much protection at the very least. just my thoughts.

[Sambuca]

When I was a kid, my mom fastened us together with a retractable string, so I could wander around but couldn't go too far. I grew up perfectly fine, and I'm sure adults in public places were glad that I wasn't running around causing trouble. As a parent, it's your responsibility to keep your child under control and not allow him/her to bother other people in public places. I find it incredibly annoying when other people's kids are running around all over the place, and I respect the parents who keep their kids under control and by their side.

 

I quite like the backpack style leashes - the kid thinks it's a bag to carry toys and snacks, but there's a retractable leash in the back so you can hold onto your child in busy places. Then in less busy places you can retract the leash and give the child a little more freedom. The kid probably doesn't even realize that you take hold of the leash sometimes, and it keeps him/her safe and close to the parent. I really don't see why anyone would object to a child being safe and under control in a public place.

[teabee]

When I babysit my little cousins, ages 4 and 1, I will harness up the youngest one before we go on a walk. Not because she wanders away and I'm not attentive but because she RUNS down the sidewalk and falls every dozen steps. It's easier to hold her up with a leash and let her take off than to hover over her and crouch-run the whole way, waiting to catch her when she falls. Maybe she needs knee pads, but I don't even think a leash looks weird anymore, it's so necessary with her.

[Unknown1607307972]

I remember being on a harness on occasion as a very small child, it wasn't a big deal. I wasn't a disobedient kid, just a daydreamy one who may wonder off without realising (I am still like that now!). It's not appropriate to use beyond small toddler years though if you ask me, plus it was never called a "leash", it was a harness or "toddler reins".

[annony]

My daughter was not a roamer. She was however, fiercely independent. She was not happy sitting in her stroller, and she didn't want to hold my hand.

I had a backpack that looked like a monkey, and the tail was the leash. She liked it, and it kept her close, but gave her enough of her own personal bubble. It was a perfect compromise.

I still taught her about the dangers of cars and the like.

[DieTeufelKatze]

My husband's cousin has a 14 month old who is very, VERY active and runs all over the place. They got that cute little monkey backpack/harness for him, and I can tell he's the kind of kid who needs it when he's in crowded/public places. It's amazing how fast some toddlers can run! So I don't think they're a bad idea at all for some kids, when they are that young they don't understand that it's not okay to go running off it probably saves Mom a lot of headache, plus it's safer. At 14 months he's too small to hold his hand constantly without stooping down, and he fusses if he's held for too long.

 

I think I remember my mom commenting negatively about them years ago, but my siblings and I were exceptionally well behaved kids for the most part. There were a few times one of us ran off or hid in the clothing racks at stores, but we never went far and we were easy to wrangle. A kid like my husband's cousins, however, it makes sense to me.

[luminousone]

I used to make fun of families that used them. And then I had my firstborn, who ended up having ADHD. I never did use a harness, but if I had more than one child at the time I probably would have benefited from the harness. As it is, I did tear my rotator cuff trying to prevent him falling down the stairs, and then I kept re-injuring it!

 

Also, it did not work having him in the stroller, because he was a handy escape artist...

 

I have 2 step-nephews that are autistic, and I can certainly understand why a parent would use one for their child with autism. We had to watch the younger one especially all the way up until he hit 12 years old... He just was in his own world, exploring...

[happyfrank]

We bought one but never use it.

 

I either walk with my son while holding his hand or push him in the stroller.

[luminousone]

When younger I used to disapprove.

 

Then I became a mom to an extremely active and impulsive boy. He could escape stroller harnesses and would take off at every fancy.

 

If we had more than one child at that time, I certainly would have used a harness.

 

My second child was born very mellow and he slept a lot and was content to stay put. And by then the older one was 5.

 

However my sister in law had twins, one of whom has autism. Then she had a third child who also has autism. She had her hands full and used a harness out of shear necessity! This kids are in middle school and high school so they all survived the toddler years.

 

It's so easy to be judgmental until you are in that parent's shoes...

 

Edit: oh hilarious- I guess I answered this thread a year ago! Well my answer is the same...

[Avila]

my grandmother put my mum in one as she was an escape artist when out and would just run off.

 

at work the other day i was talking to a frazzled mother about them. nothing she would do could keep her little girl from running off. the little girl wasn't bad or naughty she just would not stay within a suitable distance and would wonder off. i just said 'why don't you use a leash? problem solved.' She replied that she was seriously thinking about it but that her mother didn't approve. I told her that my mother had been in one because of the exact same problem. she ended up ignoring her mother and getting one in the end.

 

for some ppl it's the only way to keep their adventurous babies safe. i don't see anything wrong with them. at least you know that parent is vigilant about their child's safety.

 

actually it was quite funny the other day, i saw a very little girl in one... she would run ahead with this huge grin on her face, forget she was on it and 'oof!', look back at her mum and stomp her foot. hilarious.

[becomingkate]

I haven't read through the entire thread, but wanted to weigh in with how my sister and I handled it.

 

She and I had the kids six weeks apart, and they were similar in that they liked to run off. She set him up in a harness but only used it when she took him to the busier malls. Overall, she was happy with it because while she still held his hand, it would stop him if he tried to dart off.

 

I didn't like the idea of a harness, I thought I could teach her to stay by me, and hold her hand. But one day when she was about 17 months old, I set her down and before I could grab her hand, she bolted under the racks to play hide and seek. The length of time it took me to get hold of her made me uncomfortable, so I started using shopping carts. We lined it with a blanket and she had books and a drink. Once she got older she usually stayed home with her dad if the shopping was going to take too long.

 

I think each family is unique and harnesses can be helpful. Sometimes I see toddlers trailing after their parents in a busy parking lot, and wish those parents would try one...