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A certain friend...


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I have a friend named "T" that I've known since March this year and we get along very well, most of the time. We bonded over our feelings for the same girl in our course. He had a crush on me which I was oblivious to until he told me and that was after I unintentionally crushed him by declaring I'm a lesbian. xD


He's become a good friend to me. He supported and helped me when I dated the girl we both liked. I felt terrible though because he liked her and he had to see us together since we're all in the one class. He was there for me and listened to me when things went wrong and the relationship ended. He still likes her and because I'm no longer dating her, he's going to try his luck. It's still somewhat of a sore spot to me because I had strong feelings for her. The girl, H and I are on friendly terms now after a long break and have a love/hate friendship where we are aggressively mean yet caring towards each other. It's kind of weird.


Back to T! So we've both been hanging with H and at every opportunity I leave them alone together and wander off or I hang around and give T glares. Just because he sits or stands there looking miserable without talking to her.

H used to think T was creepy because of his sexual jokes and things he would say. But because he's my friend, H was willing to give him a chance. So now that she doesn't think he's creepy, I'm pushing T to at least get to know her and confess! However, H sort of likes someone else, whom she liked while dating me. So really, I'm just supporting T to let his feelings be known and then move on.


H is a physically affectionate person by nature and is close to and hugs many guys. This used to upset me when we dated and now it upsets T... so much so that he grabs me by the arm and pulls me down the stairs, out of the room. Sometimes he just comes up to me from nowhere and bear hugs me.


Sorry if my intent and question isn't clear from what I've been typing! The problem is... I'm a lesbian and find myself extremely uncomfortable with being too close to males. I have male friends that I hug and piggy back but... T just touches me too frequently for my liking. I know I should be supporting him but I get moody when he seeks physical comfort from me too often. I'm beginning to feel suffocated as well because out of the 20 people in our class, he has attached himself to me and follows me everywhere I go.

What can I say to him, that won't hurt his feelings, to start hanging with other people more and stop relying so heavily on me?

Also I apologise if I posted in the wrong section!

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