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Getting Closure.


Acrylamide

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So I asked my ex girlfriend if we could have dinner this Sunday. We have been broken up for about 3 weeks so I wanted to talk to her and get some closure and have a reason to move on. She ends up flaking on Sunday and says she will be free NEXT Saturday. I've been going through so much hell that I asked if I could have 10 minutes of her time tonight. Just a measly 10 minutes to get some closure. She says she doesn't want to talk about the past and that its already over. I was pretty stunned. She broke things off so abruptly when we did so much together. It was like the perfect relationship and then she ended it and says there's no need for closure? What's done is done? * * * who is that heartless...

 

I feel like I got lead on. All the nights we slept together... all the movies we watched... all the good times... it just hurts so much. I just wanted 10 minutes of her time to see if there was any chance of getting back together or if things were ended for good. She wouldn't even give me the 10 minutes and said she will contact me tomorrow when she's free. I don't understand. I was sure she loved me as much as I loved her. What changed....

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If someone doesnt want you, then they go from guilt and sadness, to being annoyed and cold if you keep pushing them. They dont see what you see. My ex also show hints of being cold, and shes never said or acted in a mean way to me ever.

 

Just let it go. Use the fact that shes being cold and mean now as your closure, as your window into what she really is now. That should be enough to close that door and move on.

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You don't get closure from another person. You get closure from you accepting it, no matter what the reason and moving on. It doesn't matter what happened or how the relationship was. It's over now period. That's your closure. Work through your feelings, and grieve the loss. Then get back on your feet and find someone new. It will happen. The sooner you're alright with the breakup and you put yourself on the pedestal you had her on the better.

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I know how it must feel so unfair for you - sometimes the closure we get isn't perfect. The closure is - she wanted things to end. If you keep asking to meet with her, and it doesn't meet your expectation, you'll just feel rejected all over again. Don't subject yourself to all that fear and anxiety. Your priority now is to protect yourself. Walk away. It will be the biggest favor you ever did to yourself.

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