Women and porn.

[tazunemono]

The time for labelling masterbation, as something wrong or deviant has long since past - I would hope.

 

Agree but the OP's behavior has thus far been less than circumspect...porn is a tool to cause a certain physical/emotional reaction, and can be like a drug...sounds like he's beginning to have issues with managing his use...just sayin'

[Pinnacle]

The act itself is fine. The reasons behind it are bad. There's a difference between getting off because you are horny, and getting off to test how horny you actually are. It can translate to his girlfriend. Instead of getting laid because he wants to, he'll have some sort of obligation to test out his sex drive instead rather than to enjoy who and what he has.

 

People can masturbate all they want, but at a certain point you need to reevaluate the reasoning behind the actions. If he is doing it for reasons other than pleasure then there is something to worry about. I fail to see how its okay.

[Snny]

I had posted a thread about this last year about my fiance accessing my PC for porn. In fact my fiance later went into a pornographic website that implanted a virus on my hard drive... crashed it.

 

I was so LIVID just like your girlfriend was when he fessed up. The porn wasn't the issue... it was the fact that my fiance had lost my trust and respect after what he did and going to those sites could get me in so much trouble.

 

I just want to point out there that a computer isn't necessary. There are magazines, DVD's, etc. Alternative methods may involve more money but the thing is you have other choices in order to test your sex drive. That alone makes me side with your woman. A lot of websites out there have viruses and malware and though those may not be her reasons for such opposition it is still something to consider.

 

But dude, you have a girlfriend. You seriously have a much, much, much, much, much, much, much, better/the best way to get off.

I agree.

[coldplay.]

keep in mind she keeps porn on it herself, the reason im askign any of these questions is becuase i know that is not the real reason, so now im in trouble for something that really doesnt matter? but she refuses to see it like that but it clearly is

[flaminghair81]

OK, you are trying to figure out why she overreacted this time because before she had no issue with porn, just did not want you searching it on her computer. I think I might have an idea to help you out.

 

For months, you had no sexual desire. It had nothing to do with her, and I am sure that you told her many times it had nothing to do with her. No matter what you told her, how hard you tried to convince her, I am pretty sure your gf always thought in the back of her head that your lack of desire DID have something to do with her. But now, you are getting back to normal. She is so excited that she is getting you back and that you and her are able to have that physical connection again that she missed so much. Its just been about a week, so she is still really cautious to not do something to push you back into that bad phase, but to keep it moving forward with you. You are completely fulfilled with your gf sexually, but, in the back of your mind you wonder if you are 100% back to normal and you want to test that by seeing if porn stimulates you like it used to. If it does, you are "fixed" and you can move forward. So, you searched porn and watched it without her knowing and she has now found out. All of those insecurities that she was starting to forget about because you've been having sex with her again just came back to her, but now, its even worse! She was the issue. There is something about her that is causing you to look outside of her for sexual fulfillment.

 

You unintentionally made a mistake here. You were not up front with your gf that you wanted to test your theory, so instead of her knowing what you were trying to do, she thinks you were sneaking porn because she is not good enough for you. If you would have tried this after a month of being back to normal, then she would have reacted differently, except for the her computer thing. She would have had time to put away those insecurities that she's been having for however long you've been out of commission.

 

I could be wrong, but that is what I thought after reading your first few entries in this thread.

[greywolf]

Ok, let's say this has nothing to do with you using her computer. I can still see where she's coming from. As another poster mentioned, you had no sex drive for awhile. That would cause issues in any relationship. So you two are probably still on shaky ground and things that don't bother us when we're content and happy in our relationships can become a huge deal when we're not feeling secure in our relationships. She may have overreacted and while not right, it is understandable IMO given the situation. She's probably gone through a lot of stress the last couple of months, and she has stuck by you when a lot of people wouldn't have. So if it were me, I'd feel like it was a huge slap in the face for me to stay in a relationship with someone who had no sexual interest in me, where I'd most likely be very unhappy, only for you to show me that you don't care about how I feel by doing something that I asked you not to do.

[OptomisticGirl]

keep in mind she keeps porn on it herself, the reason im askign any of these questions is becuase i know that is not the real reason, so now im in trouble for something that really doesnt matter? but she refuses to see it like that but it clearly is

 

As Greywolf says, your girl stood by you when many people would have left. While this may not normally have hurt her, it did. I feel you are down playing her feelings and saying she has no right to be upset at all. We can't help how we feel about something. Did she over react? most def, but don't cut her feelings down just because it doesn't fit with what you want.

[flaminghair81]

I agree with you about getting the new computer, and she recently had fully graphic pictures of us sitting in plain sight on her computer, which she put there. I called her on the double standard and she blew it off as "giving me an alternative" i cant respect her position if she contradicts it.

 

Is all the porn on her computer of y'all? That IS different. That is you and her. That is her only wanting you.