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Dealing with drama, gossip and their mean friends

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Hi, I recently went through a very weird situation. I have had a very tumultuous year with a FWB. I don't even want to get into it, it was very up and down/dramatic and at this point we aren't even friends. An old ex of his moved here recently and we hit it off. I didn't even realize they were still friends. I genuinely liked her and thought she was really cool and nice. However, as soon as he found out we were friends, he told her that I was just trying to get close to him and basically made me look psycho. I don't know why he would think that, it seems really creepy. She then became very standoffish to me and she asked me why I never told her we were FWB. I didn't because I didn't want to talk about him and why would I want to tell a new friend my drama or problems?


Now it seems that both of them are talking badly about me. I went out the other night and noticed that several acquaintances (that they are friends with) were giving me dirty looks. I just ignored the situation and hung out with my friends. We then went to another place and ran into more of his friends including his ex. One of my friends was there and she was acting weird to me and I had to leave suddenly. When I went to leave his ex started laughing loudly and looking at me.


I'm in my 30's and so are these people. I don't want to feel like people are gossipping about me or slandering me. The drama I had with this guy was not anything that would freak people out - we had fights but it wasn't like I was stalking him, hitting him, saying bad things about him, slashing his tires, etc. HA. Sorry, just tried to think of extreme examples. Please give me some advice since we all run in the same social circles on how to deal with this.

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I think you should go NC. I had a FWB and having it only means that he's just not that into you. The more you stay in this situation trying to show you're not guilty or trying to prove something, the more drama you will cause. Get out of that circle as soon as possible and be gone as long as possible until they solve the relations between them. If she's his ex, I think there was a reason and soon he will remember it. It takes time of course and he may want to get back together with her once more to start everything over, but you are independent person. If you need someone serious or if you need a new FWB, just go to search for it. He's not the only one.

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My oh my, you really seem to like this drama in your life! Based on your previous posts, I'd thought you'd have drop kicked this guy's ass already.


You didn't, and it's gotten worse.


But now, you have to drop kick this guy to the curb. That means you have to NC yourself from him and your mutual social circle. Avoid him and ask your friends to avoid him if you're going out together.


I can guarantee you, if you keep it up, you won't heal.


I'd also face (alone) your friends who are acting strangely towards you. If you want to keep them in your life/circle of friends, you have to ask them what's wrong and correct whatever misinformation they received. Don't make it a he said, she said discussion. Stick to how "you" feel using "I" statements.


Oh, and also...be alone for a while. Find out who you are and what you life and what you are looking for in a mate. If you never take the time to do it, you'll wander from one to the next in a haze of pain, or worse yet, settle down!


Do it, for yourself!

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I know, it's my fault for continuing this dramatic faux relationship. I wish I would have drop kicked him to the curb long ago. We are in NC and I do avoid him, but I still run into him all the time. Ran into him randomly 3 times in the past 2 weeks. I like to enjoy myself and be social and go out quite a bit. We all run in the same social circle and I don't want to be at home alone because I'm avoiding him and his friends. So what do I do? I've just been ignoring him if I see him.

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I went out Friday night and ran into him. He knew I was going to be there. He waved at me and tried to walk over to me but I ignored him. It felt good that I stayed strong and didn't let his presence bother me. Should I delete him from Facebook? No one answered my question above. Thanks...

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