Women have ridiculously high standards with online dating

[joeson1257]

Almost all of them expect a guy to be 6', well educated, high paying job, great shape, nice hair, and a decent sized package. Whats the world coming to?

[guynextdoor]

Its their preference, nothing much you and I can do about it.

[thejigsup]

Well, if you went to the store to go shopping, what would you look at first, the filet mignon or the chuck steak? It's just human nature. I like tall guys who are educated. What's the matter with that? I have standards. Their package can be whatever and I don't care so much about looks, but I love a tall man with a degree, or several degrees. I have that, why shouldn't he?

[hexaemeron]

So you don't want a beautiful, intelligent woman with a good job and nice boobs?

[Hollyj]

HMMM, I think that most of the men who have had successful matches probably do not fit that criteria. I think if you go into online dating with that attitude, you will have little success. The sexiest attributes a man can have are respect, integrity, honesty and self confidence.

 

Curious as to what the male requirements are?

[WindowTo]

When you go to the grocery store you expect to be able to buy whatever you want. People can talk to eachother anywhere any time and they are not limited to the narrow range of choices that they were in the past (the people in their vicinity). For products, this can be good, it forces low quality products off the market. For dating, the supply is not only limited but the supply needs to actually like you back! So when 80% of the women want 5% of the men it leaves a lot of people single lol! People are used to instant gratification and studies show (look it up yourself I am too lazy to cite what I have read) that people have become more narcissistic than ever. People do not have to be more shallow for these demands, they just figure that since they are on a dating site: "I am looking for a great person, I may as well demand that they are towering, handsome, and rich even though the only thing I have going for myself is my spray tan and love of jewlery". Haha just kidding, but seriously a lot of what is said on dating sites are hard truths not meant for actual revelation. Things that are glossed over by women when they realize that they actually like someone despite not meeting their initial request. Personality can make up for almost anything, but I do agree there is a lot to facepalm about here and it is pretty amusing to point it all out... if not a little ridiculous.

[WindowTo]

So you don't want a beautiful, intelligent woman with a good job and nice boobs?

Lol, write that on a profile and see how many women respond to him.

[In the Dark]

That's because there are those kind of men out there.

Not many but definitely out there on the internet looking for women.

 

Possibly a good way to whittle down the amount of me who pm or email or however people on dating sites contact each other.

[Point5]

Women only expect that when its whats advertised. You have no idea how many men described themselves like that, than showed up 5'5 and balding. If they were honest than I would have still dated them, but its the lying, not their looks, that makes me not wanna date them again.

[EmmaB78]

I think you're wrong that women want all of those things - but yeah, if you have none of those things, then you're screwed. I don't care that much about height so long as he's a couple of inches taller than me (I'm 5'5" so not hard to do), have never even though about such a thing as "package" - ugh - how would you know that from a profile anyway?, I do expect a high level of education because I have one, I don't care how well-paying his job is but I do want it to be a career rather than some bartending gig or something and he needs to be able to support himself, my only "shape" requirement is not more than about 30lbs overweight, and yeah, I'll admit it, I do like a good head of hair, but I've dated several guys with very obviously receding hairlines before so even that's flexible.

 

Sadly, even my lowered expectations leave little left over in the online dating world. A few weeks ago, I signed up for POF on a whim, did a search for guys who were at least 5'7", with graduate degrees, and non-religious. I got 8 results. EIGHT!! Of those, a couple had clearly embittered profiles (please do not list all of your bad experiences with women in your profile, guys), a couple were very overweight, and a couple just didn't seem very interesting. I wrote a big long email to the one guy in whom I was interested, and then when I went to send it, it go rejected because I listed that I occasionally smoke. Thus went my entire POF experience - I deleted my account immediately.

[Lamour detruit]

Well, if you went to the store to go shopping, what would you look at first, the filet mignon or the chuck steak? It's just human nature. I like tall guys who are educated. What's the matter with that? I have standards. Their package can be whatever and I don't care so much about looks, but I love a tall man with a degree, or several degrees. I have that, why shouldn't he?

 

While I personally have no problems with what people ask for online and I can understand you wanting it, I do have some issues with this train of thought of some women on there when they lack certain qualities themselves. It's fine to want something, but one also has to be reasonable. If a woman is vastly overweight, lacking education and isn't the brightest tool in the shed, and she also has the same wishlist as stated in your post (which is the case for many), this is pretty ridiculous. She has every right to demand it, but there is a lack of realism there.

 

Women online generally do have very high standards, and are much more picky online than in person..but this is just because they literally get dozens of emails per day, and don't have to put any work into getting attention. Hence, from this..they get to be extremely picky. I do not blame them, but that's just the way it is.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Why does a graduate degree matter?! What if they got their bachelors and have been in an awesome job since?

 

In any case, online dating is a joke anyway and I say that as an attractive woman!

[hexaemeron]

Why does a graduate degree matter?! What if they got their bachelors and have been in an awesome job since?

 

In any case, online dating is a joke anyway and I say that as an attractive woman!

 

Because that man has to make that money to take care of her!!!

[mfan]

Almost all of them expect a guy to be 6', well educated, high paying job, great shape, nice hair, and a decent sized package. Whats the world coming to?

That's not true. They also demand perfect teeth and an exotic accent.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Because that man has to make that money to take care of her!!!

 

No, because she is a woman and her graduate degree just means so much that only doctorate males are her equivalent, lol.

[Hollyj]

Because that man has to make that money to take care of her!!!

 

Many women can support themselves very well today. Including myself.

[hexaemeron]

Many women can support themselves very well today. Including myself.

 

I never suggested otherwise. However, women often seem to want to marry well off because they want "stability" and expect a man to be an equal or greater contributor -in a lot of cases-. Please do not try to turn me into a chauvinist because I'm not.

[oldenoughtoknow]

So you don't want a beautiful, intelligent woman with a good job and nice boobs?

 

Lol, write that on a profile and see how many women respond to him.

 

I'll bet you'd be surprised. Some women believe honesty counts for something.

 

Back in my online dating days, my pet peeve was how so many women would say "make me laugh." Sorry, I'm not a clown. And if you're depressed, I'm not a therapist. Next!

[Hollyj]

I never suggested otherwise. However, women often seem to want to marry well off because they want "stability" and expect a man to be an equal or greater contributor -in a lot of cases-. Please do not try to turn me into a chauvinist because I'm not.

 

Sorry, but the wording indicated that direction.

 

You're right, I do want someone who is at least my financial equal. i will not support anyone, except a child or parent.

[Oneironaut]

Almost all of them expect a woman to be big-breasted, intelligent, have a respectable career, be athletic, have beautiful hair, and did I mention big-breasted? What's the world coming to?

 

 

[mfan]

Back in my online dating days, my pet peeve was how so many women would say "make me laugh." Sorry, I'm not a clown. And if you're depressed, I'm not a therapist. Next!

Totally agree. I looooove to make people laugh. But not if it's a requirement!

[Batya33]

Almost all of them expect a guy to be 6', well educated, high paying job, great shape, nice hair, and a decent sized package. Whats the world coming to?

 

I expected someone compatible with me and since I am well-educated, had a successful career and did my best to stay healthy, I expected the same. I did not expect "muscular" or tall I always preferred shorter men - and I needed to be attracted to him but didn't care what his particular physical features were. Hair? I wasn't a fan of long hair but otherwise as long as he was well-groomed that was fine with me. I didn't marry my husband because of a list of qualities he had but it was very helpful that we had so much in common, and common values.

[WindowTo]

I think the most amusing and revealing thing about this whole thing is how mind numbingly boring and bland almost every single female profile is on these dating sites. Usually goes something like: I am just a simple girl looking for a great guy. I love having fun and laughing. I love music and hanging out with my friends. My friends would describe me as the life of the party but I am actually very shy. I am looking for a guy who is a few inches taller than me so that he can fend off the grizzly bear attacks and wrestle other alpha males to the death with his beard (even though I like clean shaven men).

 

Ok so I got sarcastic, but you get the idea. Seeing the same profile description again and again really just encourages guys to have to base their decision off the pictures and more importantly it puts the impetus on the man to have to make up some BS to convince the girl that he saw something special in her profile when she has really put no effort into expressing anything unique or special about herself. It is no wonder that so many guys just play the numbers game.

[Generation]

The sexiest attributes a man can have are respect, integrity, honesty and self confidence.

 

I've got these qualities, and I'm only 5'6"... I'm dating a girl older than me, has her own place, career, and if it matters she's not even the same background as me. She's pretty much a 10/10. Infact, when I messaged her, I thought to myself "I don't stand a chance".

As for me... I'm still living with my mom, unsure about my future (career), still in school (university), very poor upbringing (financial). I wouldn't exactly call myself smart either (never made honor roll). I guess I'm kind of attractive, to be honest I never quite saw myself that way, I guess that makes me kind of humble (I'm aware that this sentence is a bit contradictory).

Been together for almost 2 years now. We talked about it, I asked her "how many messages did you get?" and she replied with hundreds, so then I asked her "why me?" and (keep reading...)

 

I'd say I'm a lucky guy, but I'll also say that I'm not a dime a dozen, but you gotta know how to market yourself and have that personality and charisma that attracts people. I sent a very non-threatening message, and it was well thought out and that really got her attention. I was also very friendly and I guess she could see that I was a good person.

 

With all that being said though, I can also say -I know what you mean. Before my girlfriend, I had been searching for quite some time, but all the women before her I'd say helped me because I had to learn how to message them in an effective manner.

 

People tell me this all the time too, if I were 6 inches taller (and if I had a career) I'd be a "lady killer" or something along the lines of a great catch. I've compensated for what I don't have.

[nutbrownhare]

expect a man to be an equal or greater contributor

 

Greater contributor - no. But I don't see anything wrong with wanting a man to be an equal contributor. After all, I want to be an equal contributor myself!