Is this normal?

[moscato]

Hey ENA im going to be getting married in a few months and I was just wondering if its normal for the guy to not really be that involved in planning the wedding? I mean im excited to get married but I always thought the wedding was more about the girl so I usually let her make most of the decisions about the wedding. She asks for my input on a lot of things but honestly I could care less what color the sheets are for the tables. I'll tell her no to some thing if i know we cant afford it or I really don't want it, and i'll make some suggestions. So is this normal for most guys to just kind of let the girl make most of the decisions about the wedding or do I need to be more aggressive about this? Thanks

[hexaemeron]

Yeah, it's a girl's deal mostly. How many guys do you know think of their wedding day and know what they want to wear and etc.

[OptomisticGirl]

My guy isn't big into the planning. He has an opinion on some things and isn't afraid to voice it but small details he doesn't care bat, no.

[Lester]

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

 

Congratulations are also in order for coming here before your marriage. Very Smart!

Your curiosity may guarantee a long loving marriage.

 

 

Before answering your questions lets have a quiz.

 

Your fiancée questions you about a choice of appetizers for the big day. The one you really like and think she does too. The other cost more and she doesn’t seem to like it. What do you tell her?

 

A. Tell her you like the first or second one?

B. Mention the cost?

C. Discuss the taste or presentation?

D. None of the above?

 

 

You have two minutes.

Good luck

[Valina]

When we were planning our wedding, my husband left most of the little details to me. But we both wanted him to be involved, so I gave him stuff to do that I knew he cared about. Like, he was in charge of picking the beer selection and the tuxes for his guys. I appreciated that he spoke up when he had an opinion, and I'm sure your girl does, too.

[Alezia]

Congratulations! Guess why I haven't made any plans on my wedding ever since our engagement? Weddings are a 'girls thing', and this girl does not feel like it's any fun to plan a wedding. The guy isn't putting much more involvement than an average guy = nothing is getting done and ever will.

 

Make sure she is willingly planning the entire wedding - she may not be as happy as you would like to imagine to do be booking all the details.

[OptomisticGirl]

Congratulations! Guess why I haven't made any plans on my wedding ever since our engagement? Weddings are a 'girls thing', and this girl does not feel like it's any fun to plan a wedding. The guy isn't putting much more involvement than an average guy = nothing is getting done and ever will.

 

Make sure she is willingly planning the entire wedding - she may not be as happy as you would like to imagine to do be booking all the details.

 

I second this!!! The only aspect of wedding planning I remotely love is the DIY stuff - we are a big DIY wedding - and since I already scrapbook for a hobby, it's not much different for me to do the stuff I have planned out myself. But the tedious details of whose going to enter and to what music and what food to serve the guests and stuff like that, I could shoot myself over.

[_Asti_]

My husband had limited involvement.

We picked the venue together and everything pertaining that [food, bar, etc]

I had a few colours scheme in mind and we agreed on one together.

 

But for the most part, I made the large decisions, ie "So this is the cupcake baker we are going with, we have a sampling on Tuesday" and then we'd decide on the flavours together.

 

He did alot of calling to arrange appointements and dropped off deposits...but thats about it.

 

All the same detail work I did, but that was because I LOVED IT! I designed the invitations, picked the flowers, did the table numbers, little candy bags, the programs, etc etc because he just didn't care. When i thought of something, I asked his opinion and if he liked it..I went ahead.

 

He did say he regretted not being involved more, afterwards. But he worked ALOT [some weeks 80+ hours] I was alone alot and it was just alot easier for me to hammer everything out and get it done. Because when I did ask for help, he would drag his feet...which made me believe he wasn't interested in helping, although he was saying otherwise!

 

My coworker said the same thing. She did the entire wedding. Her husband just had to show up.

[Seraphim]

I think it can be normal for a man to have limited involvement. I planned everything and my husband showed up..........lol. he finds planning social events annoying.

[SayWhen]

My husband & I essentially eloped (no guests, just a photographer, officiant and a witness) but there was still quite a bit of planning involved since it was a destination wedding, so to speak. I picked out the various locations, hotels, food, restaurants, officiant, photographer etc...he just ok'd everything when I ran it by him. The only thing he really planned was his own suit for the wedding...though I came with him for that as well. I didn't mind doing the planning really, though if we had a larger wedding I definitely would have needed his help more! There is just SO much to do when it comes to weddings/receptions...I don't think I could do it all alone. I think if your future wife needs more help, she'll ask for it Congrats on the upcoming nuptials!

[GrowingIn]

My husband & I essentially eloped (no guests, just a photographer, officiant and a witness) but there was still quite a bit of planning involved since it was a destination wedding, so to speak. I picked out the various locations, hotels, food, restaurants, officiant, photographer etc...he just ok'd everything when I ran it by him. The only thing he really planned was his own suit for the wedding...though I came with him for that as well. I didn't mind doing the planning really, though if we had a larger wedding I definitely would have needed his help more! There is just SO much to do when it comes to weddings/receptions...I don't think I could do it all alone. I think if your future wife needs more help, she'll ask for it Congrats on the upcoming nuptials!

 

 

It's never normal to do anything that could be used against you later to prove how little you cared.

 

I loved my ex parents in law and they loved me. I was working 12 hour days and my wife was in another country, staying at home doing nothing, waiting for me to go over there and marry her to bring her back. I left all the preparation, which was supposed to be something small, up to her and her family while I was working and saving money to pay for a lot of the expenses. Tickets, rings, dress, etc. "Don't worry, I'll handle it, she says." Of course it was anything but small and two years later ....."it must be nice to not even be present or involved in your own wedding preparation". We're no longer married, but this line came up from her and in-laws far before we actually ended up divorced.

 

So, do think carefully and cover your own ass!