Jump to content

How do I get my date to open the car door for me?


cereza
 Share

Recommended Posts

I would ask her to be careful because my wife wouldn't like it.

 

Pfftt... stop avoiding the question. Fine, what if your wife opened car doors for you during the entire time you've dated until now. Would you tell her tomorrow to stop doing it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pfftt... stop avoiding the question. Fine, what if your wife opened car doors for you during the entire time you've dated until now. Would you tell her tomorrow to stop doing it?
Well, with respect, it's a pointless question that isn't based in reality. I have been with my wife since 1974 and neither of us opened car doors for the other unless there was some practical reason. You see, we have always considered each other as equals.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, with respect, it's a pointless question that isn't based in reality. I have been with my wife since 1974 and neither of us opened car doors for the other unless there was some practical reason. You see, we have always considered each other as equals.

 

I admit my question wasn't intended to be based in reality - it was a hypothetical situation - but that doesn't make it pointless. What if you were no longer with your wife (after enough healing and etc...) and your new date would have performed this? I would assume you would have told her not to as you are 'equals', is that correct?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I admit my question wasn't intended to be based in reality - it was a hypothetical situation - but that doesn't make it pointless. What if you were no longer with your wife (after enough healing and etc...) and your new date would have performed this? I would assume you would have told her not to as you are 'equals', is that correct?
I would say thanks for your kindness but I prefer the more modern way of doing things.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would say thanks for your kindness but I prefer the more modern way of doing things.

 

As opposed to the old dated tradition of women opening doors for men? I'm just poking fun at you.

 

But yeah ok, it seems fairly consistent in the sense that you would expect not to let women open doors for themselves.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As opposed to the old dated tradition of women opening doors for men? I'm just poking fun at you.

 

But yeah ok, it seems fairly consistent in the sense that you would expect not to let women open doors for themselves.

I have had women open doors for me and the older I get the more often it happens!!! Not sure that is a good thing or not.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Men and women cannot be equal so for those that say that they have to is not. Even to this days guys get paid more than women and women are not so strong as men..so equality is a lie.

 

Being physically stronger or having a boss who pays more just for being a man are things outside of a guy's control. We should be minimizing the inequality in our lives, not trying to patch it up with silly conventions.

 

This is just spoiled princess behavior, plain and simple, and should not be tolerated. It ranks exceptionally high on my "Reasons I'm Glad I Turned Out Gay" list.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nahn, I just like to give myself more credit than I deserve. (Don't take my comments seriously don't but unfortunately there are people who think that way - just as there are men who think all women are gold-diggers because they got burned once by a woman who was.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe he thinks it's insulting to do something for you that you are fully capable of doing on your own. I'd be a little offended if a guy jumped in front of me to open my car door every single time. Once in awhile is nice, especially when it doesn't unlock automatically and he has to pass by the passenger side first, then by all means, unlock my door first. Otherwise, what's the point?

Edited by greywolf
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No i agree. Having to wait for someone would be insulting and unpractical. I wouldn't mind for him to get it sometimes. I would definitely get his if he would let me but he gets out of the car faster than I.

 

If I am stuck in the back seat with the child lock on, then I'd rather that he opens the door for me every single time. I don't really like performing car seat jumping with a dress lol.

 

Sometimes I wonder if some women do these tests on purpose early on in the relationship?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP - some men are raised to have manners and treat women a certain way (open car doors, hold a door at a restaurant/shop, etc., come to her door to fetch her for a date rather than beeping in the driveway, pay for dates, etc.), and others aren't. Simple as that.

 

This guy isn't someone who believes in traditional courtship behaviors. It's up to you if it's a deal-breaker.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of the ways that people cling on to unfair advantages or outmoded practices is to call them 'manners' or 'courtesies' but wise people refuse to be manipulated in that way in the same way they refuse to be manipulated by such words as "tradition', and 'it's always been done that way and always will'.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL. No, it's manners and the mark of a man who was raised well, and taught to show women respect during courtship. I never felt any inequality because a guy opened my car door. I considered him a gentlemen.

 

A man can be raised well and still not open a car door for a woman. In my opinion, any woman who sits there in the car and -waits- has a sense of entitlement, as if she's a princess that deserves royal treatment.

 

To each their own, I guess. *Shrug*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A man can be raised well and still not open a car door for a woman. In my opinion, any woman who sits there in the car and -waits- has a sense of entitlement, as if she's a princess that deserves royal treatment.

 

This is my problem with it. It stems from the perception that women are weak/delicate, who need doors opened for them or coats placed over puddles lest they get themselves wet and shivel up like the witch in the Wizard of Oz. When women see themselves as princesses, as prizes to be won, they're just furthering the idea that they are a commodity exchanged between men. So many of these traditions grow out of this attitude. eg, the act of the father "giving away" his daughter to her husband during a wedding ceremony.

 

The sooner these traditions die off, the better. There's no question it will take a significant amount of time, just like it did with racial conventions like the one I mentioned, but in the meantime all we can do is speak out against them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The sooner these traditions die off, the better. There's no question it will take a significant amount of time, just like it did with racial conventions like the one I mentioned, but in the meantime all we can do is speak out against them.

 

Or, women can continue to discard men who don't treat women with respect nor show manners.

 

Like I said earlier, some guys were raised to treat women this way, and others not. If the OP finds his behavior unacceptable, then she can find a guy who will treat her like a lady. Plenty of guys like this still out there. I've met very few who don't treat women with this level of respect and manners, actually.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't read all the posts in this thread, mostly just skipped to the end. But I'll bet there were some angry replies with the word "entitlement" or some variation thereof.

 

I think of the gentleman opening the door for the lady as something to be appreciated but not expected. It should be a pleasant surprise, but nothing to get upset about if he doesn't.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • Why You Should NEVER Chase Your Ex
      You should NEVER chase your ex, no matter what... even if you want to get back together. In this video, I’ll explain what exactly I mean by that… and why it’s so important if you want your ex back. Here's the simple truth: if you DO want to give yourself the best possible chance of starting over with your ex, you simply CANNOT let yourself start chasing them… it just doesn’t work, even though it’s the natural human reaction to a breakup and often feels like the right way to get them back. Even if you DON'T want your ex back, you still shouldn't let yourself chase after them. Watch the full video to find out why...

       
      • 0 replies
    • How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩
      How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩... In this dating advice video, I will explain to you how to know she’s the one and give you five signs she’s the one as well as give you one red flag that you need to look out for. You may want to know whether she’s the one on first dates, online dating, or somewhere in the dating process. Take heed to these dating tips and be sure to watch the entire video.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Odd Signs You're Seeking Approval from Others Outside of Yourself
      In this YouTube Video, Lisa A Romano discusses 5 signs that indicate you're still seeking approval from others outside of you. If you are codependent, and you struggle with self-love, you may not realize the signs you're seeking approval from others. Childhood trauma and emotional neglect lead to a sense of feeling unseen. If you feel unseen, you may seek approval in odd ways. It may not be obvious when you are looking for validation from others. In this video, Lisa A Romano breaks down these 5 signs, and what they mean; hypervigilance, neediness, low self-worth, never feeling fulfilled and what it means when you become a perpetual seeker.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 3 Simple Strategies To Ditch The Imposter Syndrome
      Have you ever felt like you're a fraud who doesn't belong? According to a recent article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, seven in every ten people have or will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. We couldn't see our tribe suffering from this anymore, so we brought in the person who'll help you ditch this feeling for good. In this video, peak performance expert Shadé Zahrai joins Vishen to discuss how to supercharge your life and improve your self-esteem by constructing your own reality, leveraging your self-awareness, and regaining control over your inner critic

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Things People Who’ve Been Mentally Abused Do
      Do you know how common mental abuse is? According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, 80 percent of the population has experienced some form of abusive relationship and behavior. However, despite how frequent it is, emotional abuse is still hard to spot. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse doesn’t leave any visible scars; instead, it affects someone’s behavior, mindset, and mentality. This means some people deny they’ve been mentally abused, and others may not even recognize the toxic behavior. So, whether you’re reading this to be able to recognize emotional abuse in others or recognize it in yourself, these a few things people who’ve been mentally abused do are sure to help you be more empathetic and kinder.

       
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...